Boston Red Sox’ Jonny Gomes Ruins White House Visit With American Flag Jacket Designed To Hide How Much He Sucks

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So the World Champion Boston Red Sox were in Washington today to visit with President Obama, in what is easily one of the great American traditions. Seriously love this day. Doesn’t matter who the President is, or whether you like him or not. The President is just a figurehead. The man who fills the office is irrelevant. It is the office itself that really matters. That’s why Tim Thomas not going a couple years ago really, really grinds my gears. He took America’s day and made it all about his politics. He literally stole the show and made it all about him.

But ya know what? In the end he was the greatest postseason goalie in the history of the black and gold. You may never see a singular dominant performance as Thomas gave in the 2011 Stanley Cup run. So as much as I disagreed with his decision to make it all about him, at least he had the goods to back it up.

This year’s “look at me” idiot, is OF COURSE Jonny Gomes. This is what he chose to wear today:


Has there ever been a more dislikable player than this idiot? First of all, he announced a few days ago that he’d be wearing this jacket. That was dooshnozzle move number one. Because of course we were all wondering what our fifth outfielder would be dressed in when he meets the President. You don’t announce to the world what you’re gonna be wearing to the White House unless you’re an attention seeking stooge.

Tim Thomas got our attention with his play first. Gomes gets his attention by doing whatever he knows will get morons to overlook how terrible he is at playing baseball. For instance, a couple months back Gomes got himself a “Boston Strong” tattoo, and every moron in “Red Sox Nation” jumped on it. People were all abuzz about how awesome the tattoo was and how they love having him on the team.

But why? Why is this .240 hitting, strikeout machine the face of the franchise? Why was one of the worst players on the team the guy who planted the trophy at the finish line of the Boston Marathon during the duck boat parade? Because he wants so, so badly to be Kevin Millar. He wants us all to say how cool he is, and how he’s such a great guy to have in the clubhouse. He knows how to market himself extremely well. But don’t let it fool you Red Sox fans. He is truly, truly terrible.


Now you may look at Jonny Gomes disgraceful statistics and say, “Wow this guy sucks.” But don’t be so quick to judge. Apparently Gomes is actually a really valuable player. Even ask him:

“Before 2010, I played at 29 years old, and I had hit 100 homers,’’ Gomes said. “Only one other guy in the big leagues had 100 career homers who hadn’t signed a multiyear deal before age of 30. B.J. Upton was the other guy. He was going year to year with arbitration.”

“The other one . . . I was the only one with eight years of service as a position player who hadn’t made $8 million.’’

My question is, how much time did it take him to research all that? 29 year old, 100 home runs, no multiyear deal. Newsflash Jonny, having 100 home runs by the time you’re 30 doesn’t make you a good baseball player. Especially when your career average is blew .240 and you bounce from team to team every year on account of you’re the definition of replaceable.

Then there was this quote:

“There’s no stat for winning player,” Gomes said. “So it gets brushed under the rug. They talk about a player’s WAR [wins above replacement]? Well, how about a team WAR? I’ve turned a team around 20 games four different times. Worst to first. I was on a Tampa team that was historically bad in 2007 and then went to the World Series in 2008. The Reds hadn’t been in the playoffs for many years.

“When you’re building a team, I’m last on the list because, when the lights go out, you don’t see the player grind out at-bats or run hard to first base every time. Or see the player respect the game and his teammates . . . or see the way the player approaches the game, the work ethic.’’



Jonny Gomes is the biggest reason the Tampa Bay Rays made the World Series in 2008. Ya got that? He had 154 at bats that season, struck out 46 of them, and hit .182. If those type of numbers don’t turn around a franchise then I don’t know what does. The team didn’t turn itself he around. HE turned the team around. Four different times actually.

What’s even more hilarious about his comments is that he doesn’t think we see when he “grinds out at-bats or runs hard to first base every time.” Right. Because running hard down the line on a groundout to shortstop is a quality that every MLB team is looking for.


So the stars and stripes jacket was just yet another chapter in Jonny Gomes sorry, pathetic career. He does stuff that people like the idiots who run Barstool will think is awesome. Getting a Boston Strong tattoo? Kick ass man!! Putting the trophy down at the  Marathon’s finish line? Jonny is the fucking man, bro!!!! Wearing an American flag jacket? Murica!!!

Anyway, this is what I think of Jonny Gomes:

Am I right or am I right?

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