Breaking News: Kevin Lynch Got Turtleboy Sports Facebook Page Suspended For Another 30 Days

Your attention please – the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page has been suspended until Tuesday, March 22. In order to follow the blogs you MUST  like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page, which we use to post blogs whenever the Turtleboy Sports Facebook account is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

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So our Facebook page, which is approaching 25,000 followers just got off of a 2 week suspension after a certain butthurt former mayoral candidate in Fitchburg reported every post we’ve ever made. As we’ve said before, no one actually works at Facebook. People act all shocked when they see that our site gets shut down while much more offensive things stay up. That’s because a human being doesn’t actually review when butthurts report a page. Ya see, Facebook is a multi billion dollar company that cuts corners by not paying anyone to run customer service. It’s why they don’t have a phone number or technical support.

Are you all getting this yet? NO ONE WORKS AT FACEBOOK!!! So many people don’t understand this concept. It’s a numbers game. If you create a bunch of fake accounts and report a page a million times a day, eventually the algorithm that Facebook is using will arbitrarily deem that one of those posts violates their “standards.” There is no appeal, because NO ONE WORKS AT FACEBOOK!!!

This is why it is CRITICAL that you like the Free Turtelboy Facebook pageWhile our account is suspended we cannot post, comment on or like any posts. We also cannot respond to inbox messages you send us when the account is suspended. The page still exists while it is suspended and people can post on it, we just can’t post anything on there. Got it?

Well this morning we woke up to this:



Because someone reported this post:


(Turtleboy Hottakes is the administrator’s page that runs the Turtleboy Sports like page.)

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First of all, if Facebook keeps this nonsense up, then Facebook isn’t gonna be around for much longer. The worst thing you can do to the American people is censor them. Oh, you didn’t like that we wrote the word “cockbags” while quoting another person? Does that hurt your delicate feelings? Better get your ass to the Facebook safe space.

That’s what Facebook is quickly becoming. One gigantic safe space. The American people yearn to be free. They want to say what is on their mind. And so long as it doesn’t threaten anyone or libel someone, there’s nothing wrong with posting it. So if this is the path that Facebook wants to go down, if they really wanna make it one gigantic safe space, then Facebook’s days or numbers. That’s not Turtleboy talking, it’s the voice of the American people.

And just to be clear, this has absolutely nothing to do with the First Amendment. The First Amendment protects you from government persecution and repression of free speech. Facebook is a private entity and can ban whoever and whatever they please. The only thing that can take Facebook down is the free market. If they keep doing this to people then someone out there is going to come up with a business plan to create a social networking site where people are free to post stuff like “cockbags.” Then everyone will start using that site instead of Facebook and Facebook will be driven out of business.

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Anyway, we’re going to fight this 30 day suspension but in the mean time we have taken steps to protect the Free Turtleboy page. Starting with this:


It’s too bad, Kevin Lynch could’ve been a nice novelty. We don’t mind when the butthurts post their rants on our Facebook page. Literally laughed out loud several times reading Lynch’s conspiracy theories about how he figured out how the many people he thought were Turtleboy was conspiring with the Fitchburg police and Mike Barnicle to destroy him. We don’t mind when you shit on Turtelboy on our Facebook page by calling us racist or homophobic because it always ends up leading to 100 comment threads which in turns attracts more people to the page.

But when you start acting like a little beyoch and reporting things because you think they’re mean, that’s when we have to block you. Because you’re not being fun anymore.

Anyway, we have to work with what we have to work with now. Over 60% of our daily traffic arrives via Facebook. Our main page has over 24,000 followers, but even our fallout shelter page has this many:

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6,392. Ya got that? We have over 6,000 followers on our BACKUP page. We’ve already passed Masslive’s main page:

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And we are closing in on Worcester Magazine:

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How emasculating would it be if our fallout shelter page page surpassed Worcester Magazine’s primary page? Answer: Very emasculating.

You may have noticed last week that the site was down and up a lot. That’s because Turtleboy gets hacked ALL THE TIME now. Our previous hosting service (Bluehost) is a big company, and they hosted our site on the same server as several others. So the customer service sucked and they couldn’t do anything about hackjobs. It was pretty cheap though.

Now we’ve hired a guy full time who’s job is to host the site and prevent us from being hacked. We had to pay him a lot of money but it’s the cost of doing business and it’s well worth every penny. Yesterday alone he blocked 67 separate hacking attempts.  If you haven’t noticed since he took over a few days ago the site is significantly faster and our page views have almost doubled. This is what is going to take the site to the next level.

Anyway, the first person who posts on the Turtleboy Sports page and says something to the effect of “It’s been 8 days, no posts?”, gets the Turtleboy dunce cap. Don’t be that guy. Follow directions. Like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page and tell all your friends to do the same.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

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13 Comment(s)
  • Fitchburg-shuffle
    February 21, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    So sorry that our local loon has ruined a good time for everyone. I wish this pussy could take what he gives. For such a tough guy he certainly acts like a bitch that needs constant attention. Was he a middle child? I see a Jan Brady syndrome possibly afflicting one of our dregs on society? Does Mass health cover that shit?

  • BlackandWhite
    February 21, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    I truly believe in karma —- what goes around, comes around.
    Especially if they are being a butthole and then complaining like a pussy.

    In the meantime, support TurtleBoy by purchasing shirts, decals and bumper stickers.
    Let’s keep the hackers out and the buttholes at bay.

  • JDubya
    February 21, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog, … you are not a customer of Facebook’s you are the product. They aggregate all your information and sell it. Now, if you were advertising with them or paying them for the data they aggregate then you will more than happily get a whole department willing to speak with you.

    The point is to drive traffic to your site; you can’t do that if the algorithm finds you violating terms (context doesn’t matter). So poke, provoke, etc on the comments … but censor yourself when it comes to language until you are in a forum you control.

  • Shit just got real
    February 21, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    The turtle already survived Colrain. There’s no way anyone east of there can stop this blog either!

  • RSoxGuy
    February 21, 2016 at 11:39 am

    Twitter is doing the same thing. Now they are taking away the “Blue Verified Check” mark next to people’s names if yous ay things they dont like.

    Check out @Nero (Milo Yiannopoulos), hes an apologetically gay man from England so of course hes got a fabulous accent. Not only is he gay, he is super anti-feminist and when a gay man is anti-fem, thats drives the feminazis nuts. Well they ganged up on @nero and got his check mark removed. Its happenening all over social media. The SJW are going insane.

    Ive said it before, all these SJW are gonna be the reason why trump gets elected. People keep forcing thier weak feelings on each other and beta males keep coddling the SJWs, Trump is gonna come to town and smash face in a big way. This shit is getting out of control.

    Oh and as for Kevin, this is what happens when we close mental wards. This guy and Missy Click should be in a mental institution. A nice safe place with padded walls and no outside communication where they can be as crazy as they want and not effect reasonable and sane people.

    • RSoxGuy
      February 21, 2016 at 11:43 am

      Ohh and to those who dont think this SJW style of policing peoples thought and words, check out Twitter’s stock price.

      Over the past yr, its down over %50. Keep banning people and filtering thoughts and we will go elsewhere.

    • John
      February 21, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      I love Milo, have been following him since Sept 14. He is hilarious, even if hes not exactly right about eveything. I’d love to see his take on the BS Turtleboy has exposed.

  • Non Sequitor
    February 21, 2016 at 11:20 am

    If FItchburg ever got an enema, convicted felon Kevin Lynch would be the first piece of shit to be flushed out.

    He is undeniably worse than any of the homeless heroin addicts living under the bridges.

    He is a welfare scab who blames everyone else for his loser life.

    Hey Kev, leave.

    • Kevin Lynch
      February 22, 2016 at 5:10 pm

      Under a fake name as usual. Very brave.

    February 21, 2016 at 11:16 am

    I just sent Kevin a bag of dicks. Maybe everyone else should too. I can’t wait to see what he says about that.

  • Elaine
    February 21, 2016 at 10:58 am

    I was raised in Spencer. I am heart broken to See the school and school system destroyed. The people destroying it, didn’t they also grow up there? How could they do this to their children and grandchildren??

  • Janice Harvey
    February 21, 2016 at 10:25 am

    I wondered why the unholy mess involving Lisa Dyer’s son wasn’t getting more comments…

    • PBH
      February 22, 2016 at 8:25 pm

      or a follow up by TB.

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