Woman On Facebook Really Hates Super Chinese Buffet In Worcester, Writes Magnificent Comments On Facebook

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So Turtleboy subscribes to this page on Facebook called “Your probably from Worcester, MA if……”. And no, we didn’t spell “your” wrong. That’s the name of the actual page. That name alone is so Worcester it hurts.

Anyway the page is mostly old people who wanna reminisce about their favorite teachers from Commerce High School or Fanning Girls Trade. Basically conversations like this:

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Turtleboy has got all these people beat. We’ve been riding the turtle downtown since before Commerce High School even existed. But today we read one of the most epic posts we’ve ever seen. Check out this beaut:

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Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Where do we start with this one? First of all, who goes to an all you can eat Chinese buffet and expects anything except for stray cat? I’ve been to the Super Chinese Buffet and the former Tin Tin Buffet many a time. Not once did I ever go in there with the expectation that I was eating anything that could pass inspection by the board of health. I ate it because I gave zero fucks about anything and wanted to stuff my face. And it was delicious. I wanted my wedding to be an all you can eat Chinese buffet, but unfortunately that was shot down by Mrs. Turtleboy. If I ever attend a wedding that has one of these it will be the most epic wedding ever.

Secondly, this lady apparently went to this place strictly for the crab legs, which were NOT replenished. Who goes to a buffet for one type of food only? Hey lady, you can order that from pretty much any Chinese restaurant you want for take out. The purpose of an all you can eat Chinese buffet is to stuff your face with General Gao, crab raccoon, and soft serve ice cream. Easy with your fancy crab legs there. This is Webster fucking Square in Worcester. This is where Margee Pesikov ate right before she made her “Ten Things I Hate About Worcester Video.” It obviously caused her to take an earth shattering smash and she decided she had enough with this city.



The all caps was certainly a nice touch, but I still have absolutely no idea what this means. Did she mean to say “waiter?” And I can understand misspelling “friend” but how the fuck do you not know how to spell “ignored?”

I can just picture how this scene went down. This lady walks into the Super Chinese Buffet looking for some crab legs at 3 PM on a Tuesday, with her boisterous girlfriend:

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She’s loudly complaining about the lack of warm crab legs, while the workers (and by workers I mean the 10 year old girl who is in charge because she’s the only one in the family who speaks English and is trying to do her homework) sit there listening to her demean them. This lady assumes they don’t speak English so she shits all over them. They hear every word she says and then decide to play the “no speakee” card. Can’t say I blame them.

There is something beautifully ironic though about a grown ass woman who writes on a first grade level, openly complaining that someone else hasn’t managed to grasp the language yet. And can you believe they don’t speak Spanish either? I mean, what the fuck? Who doesn’t speak Spanish? Her attitude is basically a direct result of the “press one for English” shit that happens every time you make a phone call. I’m not gonna get into that in this blog though. We’ll save that rant for another time.


I love how strong this lady closes out the statement too. “Emperial (buffet) in route 9 is better.” Because although Michelle Derez obviously struggles with basic english, she does have an entimate knowledge of the all you can eat Chinese buffet scene. And I don’t know what this lady has against the letter “i” but she seems to avoid it like the plague.

She wasn’t done though. The thread for some reason has elicited over 120 comments, most of which seem to be taking her seriously. She had this to say next:

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Clearly she is not over the imitation crab legs. And a woman who hasn’t gotten her crab legs is a dangerous, dangerous woman.

Luckily she wasn’t done either:

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I’ve read that post several times, and I still have absolutely no fucking clue what she is trying to say. And I’m really trying over here. So was there crab leg or not lady? First you said it wasn’t there and they ignored your inquiries about said crab legs. Then you said they were cold. Now you’re saying they “suck suck in water crack the shell?” I don’t know what that means but it sounds like you ended up eating crab legs and then decided that you’ve had much better at the all you can eat Chinese buffet in Spencer. As for the ending there in which she mentioned stopping for cocktails, as usual, I have no clue whatsoever what the hell it is she is trying to communicate.

I guess she wants the cops to start “in forcing” the laws about crab legs:

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Someone needs to sit this poor woman down and explain the difference between the letters “i” and “e.” This is why Sesame Street is critical people. And just for the record, she is NOT into politics:

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Nope, strictly crab legs for this woman. Not imitation either. No time for politics. She could go to Sam’s club and boil water herself, but obviously she’s the world’s greatest tipper so she goes to a Chinese buffet.

Then she started getting really deep:

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OK…….Finally she left us with this gem:

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I’m not even kudding – this lady avoids the letter “i” like the plague. Just SAYING. Hope she finds the island she’s looking for, and more importantly, I hope that island doesn’t have imitation crab legs when she gets there. Well, unless it leads to more killer posts like this.

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53 Comment(s)
  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    August 27, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    Fucking hell!! Brilliant!!

  • Panda
    June 13, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    The 10 year old Chinese girl doing her homework has a more tenuous grasp on the English language than this jizz farmer.

  • Lyn
    August 1, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    I’m extreemly puzzled by anything his girl tried to say. LOL. But I can tell you straight up I went to that place once because my father in law said it was delicious and we were eating and I noticed a dead rat under my foot and it looked like it had been there for a month. Not THAT is a reason to blast FB and say “STAY AWAY FROM SUPER BUFFET!” Hahahaha this woman needs English class BADLY!

  • HeatherLyn
    December 12, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    omg i’m dying of laughter over here by green hill park… funniest post of the year. A real winner. Just made my day.
    one complaint i have is the crab “raccoon” are too small.

  • Tania
    September 26, 2014 at 10:09 am

    This was hilarious. Shared to my facespacebookoftwits.

  • August 31, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    She’s worse than Yoda

  • george stevenson
    August 30, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    i have gone there 3 times i will not go there again i got sick two time i ate the food one time i had to go to the bath room as soon as i ate the food

  • August 29, 2014 at 11:59 am

    OMG. This entire thread, and her actual replies. Just reading it I feel like Alice in Wonderland, having taken the wrong pill and fallen down a crazy wabbitt hole.

    • August 29, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Rabbit, not wabitt. That’s ok, I misspell words too.

  • steve
    August 28, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    …it’s crab Rangoon. Not raccoon.

    • Wabbitt
      August 28, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      Thank you, Steve. That would be the joke. If you look up you may see it soaring over your head.

    • August 29, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      I know. You’re not the first to correct me 🙁

  • Susan
    August 28, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    U kudden me – I can’t breath I’m laughing so hard

  • jay
    August 28, 2014 at 10:07 pm

    Shes not a loca just SAYING

  • jeff
    August 28, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Bahahahaha wholly shit you are no better than her if you went through all that trouble to rant and cry about what she said or wrote get a fucking life lmao you need some dick in your life really bad like down your throat to shut you the fuck up hope you enjoyed wasting the time out of your life to write all that you dumb ass !!!!!! Bahahahaha stupid

    • Wabbitt
      August 28, 2014 at 7:43 pm

      You’re saying he has no life for writing the article, but how much of a life do you have to read something you clearly hated, then make butthurt comments about it?

      Some people can’t handle the hot takes.

    • Joey G
      August 28, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      It wasn’t a rant, it was more of a critique. Wait a minute… needs some dick in your life… This guy must be from Buffalo!!! Cant wait for Columbus Day weekend, Fuck Bois and Girls!

      • Wabbitt
        August 28, 2014 at 9:00 pm

        Jeff’s bringing the dick sandwiches to the tailgate!

        • Joey G
          August 29, 2014 at 3:36 pm

          And it has been a long time since I have had a good old fashioned Buffalo dick sandwich

          • Wabbitt
            August 29, 2014 at 8:18 pm

            Make sure to have one for all the folks back home in central Mass.

  • Mr X
    August 28, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Nice poll options. Crab ‘Raccoon’? You mean ‘Rangoon’. At least that lunatic knows what foods she’s eating.

    • August 28, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      I’m kind of embarrassed for you for not picking up on the fact that this was intentionally done for satire. Sure, you could’ve just kept to yourself and no one would know you’re a moron. Luckily mr x is a solid anonymous name.

      • Mr X
        August 29, 2014 at 11:45 am

        Ok man. Keep spamming barstool with your awful shit too.

        • Joey G
          August 29, 2014 at 3:37 pm

          No no, you messed that up… the “spam” is better than the awful shit. You guys provide few hot takes at best. Perhaps if you had someone guess TWO asses in one day, that might get you somewhere.

  • Stevie
    August 28, 2014 at 11:32 am

    Lol. “lame geeks”. I feel like that belongs in a late 80’s teen movie. I believe she has since made her fb private.. Oh darn.

    • Joey G
      August 28, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      That is totally something that Zack Morris or Theo’s friend Cockroach would have called someone.

  • August 28, 2014 at 8:49 am

    Are you sure Worcester isn’t in Indiana? Because I could write this exact same post, the only differences would be to replace the word “Worcester” with “Lafayette,” and to change the name of the Chinese buffet. To make it simple, we’ll just use the generic “Super Fortune Great Golden Dragon Wall.”

  • malika
    August 28, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Lmfao I was a customer at the buffet that day… she was a HOT mess and she was not polite she had a attitude. why did she think they would give her special treatment? Like your paying $10.00

    • Joey G
      August 28, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      Hey Turtleboy… perhaps you could interview this person?

    • Michelle
      August 29, 2014 at 5:27 am

      Again KIDNEY CANCER I eat if I can LUCKY to be ALIVE and I stopped with a friend its not imitation crab … its seafood IT should be replenished for that reason only not sit there, I don’t touch anything else……. I thought it would be safe and only have afew etc. As far as I’m concerned THANK YOU THOUGH flattered YOU took the time to write about it, considering. …it’s the cruel negatives that bother ME, but I’m okay with critics …. again Mr TURTLE boy ..I’m 46 KIDNEY CANCER sucks ….. life’s hard ENOUGH and yes I have ability to use I’ s and E’s I wrote fast and serious, it’s not healthy, MY friend ate enjoyed it to… but again CANCER KICKED MY ASS WINNING and I KNOW how to boil water well aware of other places fine dinning agree sole proprietor should of could of….MY point was dangerous WHAT they are doing appalled BY behaviours of employee’s etc…. but your column is about SPORTS flattered just saying.. and I’m a LADY not a hot mess…just trying to survive…. again to each their OWN. ……proper English ALSO YOU misspelled ALSO and your a writer for a WHAT. ….I’ve read enough, of negative and God does not LIKE ugly…to each his own. … as far as my comments beliefs etc…..mine. ..and politics well religion and THAT your sooooo smart two things ALLOT of PEOPLE do NOT agree on…I know ME. .AGAIN. ……LUCKY to BE ALIVE flattered also BUT TURTLE BOY I’LL WALK BACK IN THERE WITH YOU, YOU EAT IT…ALL I’LL BUY YOUR LUNCH, DINNER ETC. ….JUST SAYING…GOD BLESS YOUR HEART …AND THE F BOMB USED BY BY YOU…LOL WHO ARE YOU….CURIOUS NOW. …PROUD TO BE A AMERICAN USA FREEDOM OF SPEECH…..

      • Michelle
        August 29, 2014 at 5:42 am

        Wabbitt3730 TURTLEBOY you like what was said, are YOU kidding ME, come on now, are YOU a parent Sereously would you allow that person to disrespect your wife, mother, daughter, etc….tell him to go ffff himself LETS TALK MR FACE TO FACE….. ARE YOU SCARED, BE A MAN AND MAN UP…….THAT WABBITT even about the Catholic comments…… you have no idea, wabbitt. MR TURTLEBOY. ..come on did YOU READ what HE said with a open logical MIND. …that is not, human, and his pussy cat pic.. OMG God will handle it in due TIME. …its HURTFUL. ..children should be protected. …that is cruel…

        • Lr0dy
          August 29, 2014 at 8:37 am

          Oh, holy crap woman. Please, go back to primary school and learn how to write sentences before you reply again. Once completed, feel free to see a psychologist for your ego issues – your level of self importance and self aggrandizement is bordering on narcissistic. After that, maybe, just maybe, I will give you and your opinion some kind of respect – but until then, you’re not more than wasted space, to me.

        • August 29, 2014 at 12:04 pm

          I’m sorry. I’ll be deleting the blog shortly.

        • Joey G
          August 29, 2014 at 3:39 pm

          Turtleboy is all for protecting children. But did you know that more children are kidnapped by their mothers than by pedophiles???

        • Wabbitt
          August 29, 2014 at 8:24 pm

          For the record, I have a mother, two sisters, and numerous aunts and female cousins. And any of them would have said way worse shit about you than I did.

          Hehehe… it’s funny because she’s saying to read the Bible with a logical mind. Because, you know, if you read it with a logical mind you’d realize that it’s just fairy tales and bullshit.

      • Joey G
        August 29, 2014 at 3:40 pm

        You know what else God doesn’t like? Indonesians. Like, he doesn’t like them at all.

      • Wabbitt
        August 29, 2014 at 8:21 pm

        You sure it’s kidney cancer? Because something’s eating what few brain cells your make believe god supposedly gave you.

        To everyone else – am I crazy, or is this the exact same rambling nonsense as before, but with KIDNEY CANCER used in place of CRAB LEGS?

      • Philip J Fry
        August 30, 2014 at 10:34 am

        Not sure if world’s best troll…

  • Wabbitt
    August 27, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    I saw that post and all I could think was that it’s so South High, it hurts.

    Check out her Facebook page for more gems, like this, under religious views.

    “Religious Views
    If you touch a child in any way sexual or rape a child ….GOD will not forgive you, the DEVIL will be there in the end . May you burn in HELL.. You are not going to be forgiven……………AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!”

    Something tells me someone has an Uncle Bad Touch.

    Oh, and her favorite quotes…


    And in case you were wondering fellas – she’s divorced. Where does the line form to date this barely literate mamasita?

    • jikk
      August 28, 2014 at 8:02 am

      You people all need to get a life.

      • Wabbitt
        August 28, 2014 at 1:54 pm

        I would think you were Ms. Derez, but you were able to string eight words together without using caps lock. And good job spelling them all correctly.

    • Julie
      August 28, 2014 at 9:00 am

      I went to South High and can spell perfectly fine. Not ONE thing you said was interesting. Where did you go to school?? You are most likely a lame geek with no life living with your mother 🙂

      • August 28, 2014 at 11:21 am

        I graduated from Geafton street elementary in 1899 before getting a job at Northworks. Then JP Morgan turned me into stone and made me ride this turtle for eternity.

      • Wabbitt
        August 28, 2014 at 1:51 pm

        Millbury St. School until part way through fifth grade. Quinsigamond Elementary for the rest of fifth grade. City View for sixth grade (the first year the school was open). Sullivan Middle for seventh and eighth (first graduating class in the new building). High school at…

        Drum roll please…

        South High!

        That’s how I know it’s so South it hurts – because I went to that fucking wall-less zoo. As you’ll note – I can competently write the English language. But I saw enough of this shit during my time there to know that I was the exception to the rule.

        • Julie
          August 30, 2014 at 10:13 am

          There is nothing wrong with you commenting about this woman’s review. There is something wrong with you insulting everyone that went to South High and you are also insulting the teachers that work there. I never encountered anyone at South High that spelled that bad. Don’t say anything online you wouldn’t say to anyone’s face. I know you don’t have the courage to go to South saying that to the students and teachers that are currently there??

          • Wabbitt
            September 1, 2014 at 8:21 pm

            I feel sorry for the teachers at South. They get handed a bunch of half literate dumbasses from Main South, Quinsig Village, Vernon Hill, and Union Hill that were shoved through the grades because of “No Child Left Behind.” Shit’s a lost cause before those poor people ever get to them.

            I know someone who currently works there, who was told on the second day of school, “Yo miss – I forgot how to read over the summer.”

            Shit was bad when I went there, but it’s gotten a hell of a lot worse over the years.

      • August 29, 2014 at 12:03 pm

        Guilty as charged.

    • August 28, 2014 at 11:22 am

      I don’t know you wabbit but your comments are top notch and could probably qualify as blogs by themselves.

      • Wabbitt
        August 28, 2014 at 1:52 pm

        Credit goes to the lunatic for actually putting that shit on her Facebook profile. Copy and paste did the rest. I just added commentary.

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