Hoodrat Heroes

Bridgewater Meat Donkey Lawyer Who Got Busted Sneaking Suboxones To Gangbanger In Prison Wasn’t Even His Attorney, Previously Threatened To Murder Half Sister, Gets Paid In Adderall 

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A couple days ago I published this blog about Elana Gordon, the hoodrat Bridgewater meat donkey attorney who got arrested after sneaking in suboxones to a gangbanging client in the Plymouth House of Corrections.

She’s apparently been screwing over clients

And despite the fact that she lost custody of her kid in 2016 and was just arrested for smuggling suboxones into prison, it hasn’t stopped her from casting judgement on people who are basically her peer group.

Well we also noticed that it’s not the first time that Scary Mason has had a run in with the law. She’s also been charged in two closed cases with intimidating a witness, and threatening to commit a crime:

But because they’re closed we had no idea what this was about.

Until someone sent us these text message conversations between the meat donkey and her father. Here’s one in which she claims she’s being surveilled like the CIA, and tells her father that he’s “lucky I respect blood or you’d never be able to read this right now.”

The person she was threatening was her half sister, and she claimed in an email from her official lawyer’s account that she was willing to kill her….

in front of her son…..

She claimed that if her half sister didn’t stop calling DCF on her and telling clients that she’s disbarred (because she’s really just suspended) then, “I am going to have to put her to sleep if she doesn’t stop fucking with me”:

Oh, and her clients apparently pay her in drugs:

And here’s the best part – the gang banger she was sneaking subs to in jail, he’s not even her client. She’s just good buddies with violent offenders who shoot multiple people in gang wars.

Eat your heart out Saul Goodman, the Meat Donkey is easily the most ratchet lawyer who has ever practiced law. Ever.

Hey girl, let us know if you wanna come on Turtleboy Live on Saturday night. Uncle Turtleboy and Bret really wanna hear your side of the story. HMU!

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8 Comment(s)
  • Jessica
    April 29, 2019 at 12:32 am

    Karma finally caught up to her.
    I know her and could never stand her. She was the divorce attorney for a friend. She then had a threesome with his ex wife and the friend/roommate of the ex husband. She thinks she is “the glitter in everyone’s shine” when in reality she’s just the corn in shit….everyone’s had her.
    She was suspended from practicing law in 2016 because she mishandled client retainers. I believe the August 2016 court appearance was in regards to that.
    She eats adderall like they are tic tacs (used to get them from some dude named Spider or something equally as stupid sounding) and she had a shitty boob job. She is a terrible mother who never interacted with her child on the few occasions I saw them together.
    There is not a doubt in my mind that she absolutely tried and failed at pulling this hustle.
    Physically, she used to be attractive. But when multiple dudes say that it isn’t even worth it to put up with her drama and personality…. you know she’s terrible.

  • Didi DelGado's Banana Hammock
    May 24, 2018 at 12:57 pm

    Wow…..

  • The Vorlon
    May 23, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    Nothing good will come from your lawyer flashing gang signs.

    Why hasn’t the state pulled her ticket yet? Her license should have been fed to the shredder years ago.

  • Captain Trips
    May 23, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    I called her new number, 867-5309

    Someone called Jenny answered

    • Didi DelGado's Banana Hammock
      May 24, 2018 at 12:58 pm

      That was barely funny 30 years ago

  • Captain Trips
    May 23, 2018 at 4:00 pm

    She’s kind of attractive in an ugly sort of way

  • vicxh
    May 23, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    She likes duck face very much. She can start to pucker those lips as she will be kissing lots of roast beef in jail.

    • Captain Trips
      May 23, 2018 at 4:01 pm

      I hope she like clams and raw oysters on the half shell because she gonna be tastin lotsa dat!

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