WTF

Bristol’s Filtered Facebook Message Of The Day: ….And Now A Message From Failure Swift.

I really need to check my filtered messages more, y’all. I forget far too often about the secret comedy goldmine folder that Facebook hides away from me. Well, I checked it today, and let me tell you – there’s some great material that’s been marinading in there for quite some time now.

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P.S. – No, I wasn’t born a dude, nor was I was “assigned” anything at birth. I have a vagina, therefore I am female, not that it much matters to anyone but creepy Benji Nightingale. But that one might just be my favorite, if not for the rambling and angry message I found myself on the receiving end of from none other than our dear friend, Kathryn “KC Hill” Narcisi.

 

 

The TL;DR is – We’ve got it all wrong, she’s the sane one in this situation, and her in-laws and pet husband Metro are the real problem here. She’s concerned about the dangers to her daughters that she’s completely made up in her head (nobody brings up those kids but her), Metro is worried only about his own reputation, and is abusing her and taunting her constantly. Metro is afraid of the REAL story coming out, which is presumably that he “abuses” her, and we’re idiots for not picking up on any of this. But…. he truly loves her, even those he’s the real problem here and doesn’t care about the kids. Makes perfect sense, seems legit.

 

Anyway, that explanation makes no sense whatsoever, and if you’re willing to throw the emotionally battered down husband whole blindly keeps defending your batshit behavior (even though it defies all logic to do so) under the bus just to try and save your own face, you’re an asshole. And considering no one wants to talk about her kids but her, definitely no one is having an sexual fantasies about her whatsoever, and no one has made any threats to her that I’m acutely aware of….. I’d say she’s the one worried about her reputation, Metro’s be damned. But, hey, do your thing, Failure Swift. Don’t let reason, logic and morals stop you.

 

 

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43 Comment(s)
  • Hate liers and cheater
    July 24, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    Kc is batshit crazy I have lupus and about 6 other autoimmune diseases and if I tell her a doctor told me something was wrong with me all of a sudden she had it 100 times worse. And the seizure and strokes started after I told her I was diagnosed with seizures and dr thought I might have had one but I didn’t. I’m on a lupus chemo nothing like a cancer chemo it only attacks certain cells it’s called benlysta I was doing infusion now do auto injection once a week . But most of her stuff is in her head , if she is not getting attention she’s not happy she has been like this all her life, her husband mike Leandro before they were married had a fb page call I hate kc hill lol. Also she goes around saying she didn’t date before she met metro that was a huge lie she was sleeping with a married man trying to get him to leave his wife and move in with her, she was screwing 2 other men that I know of and one of them she was seeing and she was trying to climb on the dick of a good Male friend of mine. And one night she got so plastered she slept with 3 different men in one night. She also lies about getting raped yet never reports it. She needs a padded room. Those young girls are going to be mentally damaged

  • Judge dread
    July 12, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    Oh god Metro is back. Metro sounds like what you name your kid after seeing a major subway disaster on fox25.

  • Metro
    July 12, 2019 at 11:54 am

    Wake up Metro! This lady just trashed you again! Get a good lawyer! With the right lawyer, you can void that deed change, get an annulment, and reverse the adoption. You do know that she only did that adoption so she would have child support when she moved on to the next sucker. You can’t save those kids. They will always side with their mother. Besides, they are nearly grown. You have to act first. If she filed first, you become the defendant and have to work hard to change her plan. You file first, and you can demand she leave your home and you get to set the rules. She will need a good lawyer to change it. Why do you let this woman publicly humiliate you and stick around?

  • Wake up call for Metro
    July 12, 2019 at 11:48 am

    I am in shock that she spent half of that post continuing to degrade Metro! And he stays! I’m starting to wonder what is wrong with this man? And what’s this about Metro talking to Aiden for over a week? Don’t believe it or we would have had an update on live. Metro, you can get an annulment. Get a good lawyer and you can void that deed change on your house. You already lost a job and had to declare bankruptcy because of this. What else does she have to do to you, to wake you up? As far as the girls..they will always side with Failure and you can’t save them. You can get out of the adoption with a good lawyer. She roped you into that only to guarantee that she got child support when she moved on to the next husband. Sounds like she’s trying to move in on Nacho. Women like Failure always have their eye on their next husband before they drop the current one. Everyone knows that the person that makes the first move with a good lawyer gets the better deal. If she files first, you become the defendant and will have to fight to make changes in her plan. Run Metro!!‍♂️

  • Truth
    July 11, 2019 at 10:31 pm

    RIP Michelle Narcisi. Gone too early, leaving a wonderful, caring, grieving husband. Rebound is a bitch. You will ALWAYS be number 2, Kathryn. BTW, check out the mirror in the comments below, under “Histrionic.”

  • 5/8" stainless steel
    July 11, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    Is that a washer on a chain hanging from her neck.

    • Lipstick Hippie
      July 11, 2019 at 9:36 pm

      It’s the Circle of Insanity.

    • Captain Trips
      July 11, 2019 at 10:10 pm

      Yes it is a washer. She lost a few nuts and bolts so the washer was all that was left

  • Frank Rizzo
    July 11, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    I bet she gives monster crazy blowjobs

    • Milodog
      July 11, 2019 at 8:22 pm

      When she takes out her dentures.

  • TL;DR
    July 11, 2019 at 6:38 pm

    They should make a mold of those chompers for halloween masks.

    MAGA

  • Captain Trips
    July 11, 2019 at 6:31 pm

    Her sparkling, blissful eyes scream ‘insanity’.

    KC: Hi honey – have fun last night?

    Metro: Yes dear, but my groin is KILLING ME!

    KC: Not to worry my dear. It will get better. I have 3 over-easy eggs and your penis on the frying pan! Hope you’re hungry! (The KC SMILE)

  • Captain Trips
    July 11, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Are those a complete set of upper dentures and the Dentu Creme is not holding them up?

    If not, she must floss with fucking twine

    • Big Wick
      July 11, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      I wondered about that; who tf shows that much gum when they grin?

  • Histrionic
    July 11, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Individuals with histrionic personality disorder exhibit excessive emotionality—a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner—and are attention seekers. People with this disorder are uncomfortable or feel unappreciated when they are not the center of attention. Typical behaviors may include the constant seeking of approval or attention, self-dramatization, and theatricality. People with histrionic personality disorder may act self-centeredly or sexually seductive in inappropriate situations, including social, occupational, and professional relationships, beyond what is appropriate for the social context. They may be lively and dramatic, and may initially charm new acquaintances with their enthusiasm, apparent openness, or flirtatiousness. They may also, however, embarrass friends and acquaintances with excessive public displays of emotion, such as embracing casual acquaintances with passion, sobbing uncontrollably over minor setbacks, or having temper tantrums.

    People with histrionic personality disorder commandeer the role of “life of the party.” Their interests and conversation will be self-focused. They use their physical appearance to draw attention to themselves. They tend to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are. Their emotional expression may be shallow and rapidly shifting. Their style of speech is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail. They may do well with jobs that value and require imagination and creativity, but will probably have difficulty with tasks that demand logical or analytical thinking.

  • The Common Man
    July 11, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    Wow, The Common Man is familiar with several mental illnesses. There’s a person in my life who is mentally ill with a personality disorder. Some of the phrases and behaviors Failure Swift uses are near identical to the phrases used by that mentally ill person.

    “Stop making persons X and Z to be perfect.” – a common complaint from a person with a personality disorder.

    Another sign is rmphatically defending her honesty by declaring she’s an “honest” person and has “zero tolerance” for lies. Often in their lives is something I like to hell “the crisis of the moment” They will say anything to get their way and solve their crisis. This in includes unrealistic claims of zero tolerance for lies. Who is she Jesus? Personality Disordered folks will often butter you up when they first meet you and let you know what a pillar honesty is in their lives. They treat it like they took a vow. It gives them a great head start on the manipulation.

    Another sign is downplaying the importance of posting the video with no real explanation. She basically argues that she doesn’t hate Metro, nor is she trying to harm him. if she wanted to hurt him, she’d do much worse.

    Get that? posting a video of your spouse in bed his underwear while belittling him isn’t a big deal to her. This sort of behavior is common in her life. She clearly thinks he deserved that. Any sane person who did that would apologize and take ownership for that terrible behavior. Sane people recognize mistakes and take ownership. A telltale sign of a personality disorder is the inability to admit mistakes. I could write a book on this but that’s enough.

    • run
      July 11, 2019 at 9:22 pm

      Some of your comments made good sense other parts were rambling and incoherent it makes you seem a little fucked in the head also. If the nut-job in your life is worse than you then I wish you luck.

      In other words get the hell out of there and save yourself.

  • Save Metro
    July 11, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    This is another rambling post from Failure that makes no sense! In one sentence she tells us how much Metro loves her! Then she rips into him and calls him abusive? Which is it? For her to say that Metro is only worried about his reputation, tells me how little she cares for this man! He should be! As a teacher, he has a public reputation to maintain, and she has single handedly destroyed it! What will she do for $ when he can’t get a job? I’m sure his sax gigs are dried up, since they formed their duo, Metro & Kat. I wouldn’t want her singing at my event! Why can’t this man save himself??

    • Milodog
      July 11, 2019 at 5:27 pm

      I agree w all but one of your points..Personally I would kill to have them at an event..how great would that be?

  • Y
    July 11, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    Anyone else notice Twitter is down?
    Can’t use the website or app.
    Right before the Social Media Summit at the White House?
    Coincidence? I think not.
    Jack must be pissed he didn’t get an invitation.

  • Already Circumcised
    July 11, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Does she peel potatoes with those teeth.

  • Milodog
    July 11, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    The thought of Failure Swift homeschooling her kids is terrifying.
    Lesson one: Girls have vaginas so guys will buy them stuff.

  • K
    July 11, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    Also, did you notice Prayerworks gets three posts a week?

    • Bristol Turtlechick
      July 11, 2019 at 3:01 pm

      I don’t think I can talk about PrayerWorks, but I’m not very popular there.

  • Klancy
    July 11, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    I still say we need proof of life for Metro. I think the Scientologists have him locked away. But this is great. She’s doing everything she’s accused TB of doing. In her last two articles alone she’s posted to the public asking that her plight be shared.
    She’s very afraid.

    • Milodog
      July 11, 2019 at 3:09 pm

      Yup. She jealous Metro gets sympathy. Holy shit! She dedicated her life to being a victim and hubby stole her thunder. He’s dunzo.

  • The Name Game
    July 11, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    FAILURE SWIFT! THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING! I’m going to start every comment on her with that.
    “I don’t think so young lady.” Good Lord, is she channeling Margaret Hamilton? “I’ll get you, and your little turtle, too, my pretty!”
    Love your pic, Bristol, and love the KC update; keep them both coming!

    • Bristol Turtlechick
      July 11, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      Hahaha. I’m done with pics, I only pull shit moves like that out when it’s guaranteed to get someone’s goat. Also, it takes creative angles and a lot of tries to not look like a fat cow. Too much effort for me!

    • The Name Game
      July 11, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      Oh, and I love your necklace charm. Is that a LifeSaver or a flat washer?

      • Bristol Turtlechick
        July 11, 2019 at 2:35 pm

        That hot slice of gums and sex appeal is Failure Swift, not me. I thought I was being ribbed again for my “slutty” “attention-seeking” photo in the previous comment. Ha. As for her charm, who knows. But I bet it cures cancer.

        • Y
          July 11, 2019 at 3:03 pm

          Her tooth-to-gum ratio should be criminal.

          • Holy Choppers Batman!
            July 11, 2019 at 6:13 pm

            Her fucking mouth looks like a big ball of silly putty with sticks of Dentyne stuck in it.

            You look better with your mouth closed sweets. I know that is difficult for you.

        • Big Wick
          July 11, 2019 at 6:38 pm

          Ouch! I’m so sorry, Bristol, please forgive me that highly inappropriate faux pas! What WAS I thinking? If it IS an anti-cancer amulet, I wonder if the FDA knows? To employ a homophone of the hippies’ phraseology, “Write on, write on, write on!”

        • Boo hoo
          July 12, 2019 at 12:53 pm

          A constructive critique in a respectful manner. Hopefully you’re coping well.

    • The Common Man
      July 11, 2019 at 5:07 pm

      I second that motion, We need more sexy Bristol pics. Perhaps a couple of tasteful nudes for good measure.

  • Osiris
    July 11, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    I would love to make sweet butt love with KC Hill.
    Wearing a turtle costume, playing a saxophone note every thrust.
    No lube needed, I’m sure.

  • Holy Shit
    July 11, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    Holy fuck you’re grammar is a nightmare.
    You, need to go back to the fourth, grade and, learn how to use, comas!

    • Bristol Turtlechick
      July 11, 2019 at 1:44 pm

      *Your grammar isn’t superb either. But thanks.

      • Grammar Nazi
        July 11, 2019 at 2:26 pm

        I LOVE all TBS content and writers I truly truly do! I donate to the fund and I tell people about he blog all the time. BUT this criticism does bring up a sensitive subject and I should say that it’s gotten much better but there is still the occasional glaring lapse…. TBS grammar is often atrocious…. some really really bad grammar is used which would be forgivable if not for the fact that you often and righteously slam ratchets for their poor use of grammar.

        • Bristol Turtlechick
          July 11, 2019 at 2:37 pm

          We definitely need a proofreader. I know that, at least for me, blogging is often done “on the fly”, in between regular job/life activities. Sometimes if I catch myself I’ll go back and proofread myself…but that’s a big “if”.

    • Kill Bill
      July 11, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      Exactly how does one use comas?

      • Big Wick
        July 11, 2019 at 2:16 pm

        I bet Metro wishes he knew how to use one, probably on himself.

    • JimmyBooms
      July 11, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      I use comas as much as Failure Swift has ever talked to Zak Effron or Miley Cyrus that would be fucking never.

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