Brockton Hungry, Hungry Kleptopotumus Is Arrested For Trying To Steal Nearly $3,000 Worth Of Food, Does A Quick Wig Change And Goes For A Redo, Is Arrested Again
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Last week, this Brockton Beef-and-sleaze decided to head out to Shaw’s to do a little highly five-finger discounted shopping:
“Officers responded to Shaw’s, at 641 Belmont St., for a report of a shoplifting in progress about 6:25 p.m.
“The investigating officer watched live surveillance video showing the suspect loading two shopping carriages with merchandise,” said police spokesman Darren Duarte.
Suspecting the woman’s activity was suspicious and that she may be shoplifting, police and store security continued to watch the video. They watched as the woman pushed two carriages by a register and only paid for two, 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew soda, Duarte said.”
Of course it was two bottles of Mountain Dew. What else would it be? Surely a wigbeast like this
Is not stealing a cart full of soy beans and kale and paying for the Kombucha. What are the odds she paid for her ratchet juice with an EBT card?
“A Brockton police officer and the store’s loss prevention staff met the woman at the door as she was attempting to leave the supermarket.
Police say she was identified as Monique A. Beck.
Officers totaled the food and merchandise in the two carts, which came to $2,850.49, Duarte said. The types of items weren’t immediately available as they weren’t listed in the initial police report.”
I imagine it was two carts filled to the brim with El Paso taco dinner kits, extra lean hamburger, frozen Hungryman meals and Cheetos. All name brand, only the good shit, cuz Big Mama isn’t planning on paying for it, anyway. Of course, shortly after her arrest, the dindonuffins were out in full effect, because she JUST stole almost $3,000 worth of food, you guys. There’s plenty of it to go around in the world, anyway.
It’s barely even a crime!
Of course they’re autistic. They have to be autistic.
Of course, the free food she is given by taxpayers isn’t enough. This is most definitely the face of a woman who needs to steal more than your monthly mortgage payment in one trip to Shaw’s to survive.
Well, that solves it. It was all to feed her family, and she’s done some volunteer work before, so it totally justifies her swiping endless jars of cheese whiz and boxes of ring dings off the shelf with her sticky sausage palms, and wheezing out the door with two full carts stuffed with thousands of dollars in groceries. Case closed.
However, the comments section was a lot less forgiving the second time around, when she made bail, stopped home to change wigs, and four days later gave it a second go:
“….“They told police that Beck filled a shopping cart with merchandise and walked out of the store attempting to catch an Uber,” Duarte said.
Police say surveillance video from inside the store showed Beck pay for three, six-packs of soda, then attempt to steal a full shopping cart worth of merchandise.”
Ok, come on, Peanutglutter and Smelly. No one should be shoplifting, but if your round 2 consists of “My hair wasn’t conspicuous enough, better change my wig and go with the same infallible plan that ended in me arrested before I got out the door the first time!”, you really, really should not be shoplifting. I know that you can get away with quite a bit at the Market Basket, but no one is getting out the door with over $1k in unbagged groceries. Doesn’t matter what weave, wig or hat you put on.
Literally, the exact same plan, with the exact same results. 5 demerits for the stupidest plan I have ever seen, and 10 more for trying it twice, and somehow being even more dumb about it the second time. How was she planning to load up thousands of dollars worth of unbagged groceries in a hurry? Into an Uber? Was she planning on just binge eating all the evidence while she waited for her Uber driver? How was she going to pay him? Was she going to make him get out and help load up the trunk? This plan has more holes in it than a Brockton bedsheet/curtain.