Bone Ride

Brookfield Lovers Take Over For Colrain In War Against Turtleboy

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So as we do this Tour de Turtle all over Massachusetts and New England, it’s inevitable that we’re gonna rub some people the wrong way. First of all, the whole purpose of these blogs is satire. People like to see their random town in the news, especially on Turtleboy. If you’ve lived in Holland your whole life, you’ve pretty much been irrelevant up until Turtleboy came to your town. No publicity is bad publicity. Do we stop and take a picture of every single dumpy house and street we see? Of course. Because dumpy houses that people let go to shit are funny. Sorry, but if your town is filled with old refrigerators, rusty old Trans Am’s, and broken dreams, are we just supposed to ignore that? If you live in a cruddy looking town, that’s OK. It doesn’t mean you’re a cruddy person. If anything you should be thanking Turtleboy for highlighting the shoddy conditions that outsiders see, so that hopefully your town officials do something to clean this joint up.

Anyway, the war with Colrain seems to be dying down, but after our most recent Tour de Turtl the war with Brookfield may be just beginning. This is what we saw on Main Street in Brookfield:




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That stuff is all there for the world to see, and there’s nothing Turtleboy can do about it. All we can do is document, because as you know, we only deal with facts at Turtleboy Sports. Naturally this has rubbed one of Brookfield’s finest the wrong way:

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So this poor kid obviously missed the reference. The 84-90 interchange is drug trafficking central. It’s where New York meets Massachusetts. Smart people would realize that our light hearted reference to this had nothing to do with actual Sturbridge residents. Just the hundreds of thousands of people who travel through Springfield on a daily basis, many with drugs in their cars.


Apparently Jacob Dupre is from Brookfield, and him and his boo Samm Rivers went all out Brookfield on Turtleboy in response to our satirical article about their town:

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Well, they seem nice. What better way to prove that your town isn’t the the dumpy place that it was portrayed to be in a blog than by completely embarrassing yourself on social media? Yup, with winners like this in Brookfield, what could possibly go wrong?

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The best part was when they started sharing Buffalo Bruises and the Telegram and Gazette, as if they had cracked some big case. LOL. The whole “I figured out who Turtleboy is” schtick is almost as fun as as the “I’m gonna sue you in Internet court” routine. I almost feel bad for these poor idiots who spend all this time in a vain attempt to prove who Turtleboy is. It must be so exhausting. The best part is when they cite a race obsessed moron with Turtle on the brain, and a website that is currently being sued in federal court for $500,000 because they literally make shit up as they go along. Seems legit though.

Here’s something that is legit though:



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And just think, someday you will be paying for this girl’s welfare check:

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What a lovely young lady.

Look, I know these two are not representative of the great town of Brookfield. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that most people who have come in contact with them think they’re gigantic dooshnozzles. But guess what morons? You cannot stop the Tour de Turtle. We’ve got another one coming next week and we’re going east this time. As a matter of fact, we’re gonna go through all 351 municipalities in the great state of Massachusetts and we will be finding the grimiest areas possible of every single one of them. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Enjoy your life with the Affleunza kid’s white trash doppelgänger .






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64 Comment(s)
    April 14, 2018 at 3:58 am

    Syringe tattoo on the upper arm. Unfortunately, these are the types of individuals you encounter in the towns of Eastern Hampshire County. Dental care and hygiene are lacking. Brookfield is an absolute dump.

  • Publius
    January 18, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    I am Turtle Boy. The pictures are classic, especially the one with the smoke. Classy classics.

  • Gronkmonster
    January 17, 2016 at 12:31 am

    Hmm buy some tooth paste or get a neck tatoo..tough choice I guess for some people

  • Matt
    January 16, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    You know I want to like turtleboy so much because a lot of it is pretty funny. However, when he feels the need to run personal attack articles across his blog I can’t help but lose a little respect. It’s almost as if he’s dropping down to the level of the people he’s going after. Granted they make the situation possible most of the time it would appear it hardly excuses his use of this platform to swing back. Judging by the comment sections this is just not the type of media I’m looking for. Was fun while it lasted TB.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 17, 2016 at 8:32 am

      Don’t let the shell hit you on your way out.

  • Bjsd508
    January 16, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    Do a full fledged article on how much Warren sucks! Now that’s something even the people who live there can agree upon. Average salary is whatever you get for government handout and there’s about 2 teeth per 10 square miles. Every building is run down or abandoned and the roads have craters deeper than those on the moon. And they’re all related! Check it out lol

  • JLo
    January 16, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    That entire livestock-fucking family is here posting lmfaoooooo
    This is sooooo epic!

  • Mr X
    January 16, 2016 at 3:50 am

    Turtle boy is just that a boy that found a way to spread his hate.
    If that young man and woman is reading this keep your head up and persevere. The bullying that this blog does is disgusting the followers that comment hate themselves, so they project there anger on others.

    • BobnMic
      January 16, 2016 at 11:23 am

      Wow I didn’t know Mr. X was a Psychologist. You watch way too much Dr. Phil there X.


  • January 15, 2016 at 10:24 pm

    Any dude who thinks stretching his ears out is a good fashion decision loses their right to call any one a faggot. If I walked into a room with two dudes blowing each other and this kid in the corner, I would be like, “who is this faggot in the corner?” And that broad of his is a total dog. I wouldn’t fuck her with turtle boy’s dick

  • Reddog
    January 15, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    Stk3,I saw you with a Hyundai on your truck today. When you fill out the paperwork do you spell correctly or do you have someone do it for you? I can hardly understand anything you say on here. Maybe your beard gets stuck under your fingers.

  • Mike
    January 15, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    Ive know jake for a long time and he has always been a huge druggie loser. Dont know why he brought up the sturbridge heroin thing cuz he uses too prly. Hes used everyother drug so hell. Would be safe to say he still on shit. His girlfriend looks cracked out as well.

  • mbronzo
    January 15, 2016 at 4:40 pm

    OOOH scary a passive aggressive tow truck driver!!! I think Pats oops i mean Patriot towing is hiring

  • TurtleBitch
    January 15, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    There really is no point in arguing back with these internet trolls. We are all back at high school didn’t you know? If you don’t have stainless steel appliances you aren’t cool, and you can’t sit at the cool kids table! Let him slander people cause they look different, who cares. TurtleBoy is clearly a bitch who can’t even say what his real name is, and when confronted in a parking lot runs away like a little kid. TurtleBoy has WAY more enemies than he does fans. I can’t wait to see when he does a tour of his lovely city of Worcester, people begging for money, needles all over the place, people getting shot, stabbed, robbed. Turtleboy writes crude shit and than gets super butthurt when anyone criticizes him, obviously he has no life, and no job otherwise he would get off facebook for 5 minutes.

    • Man of Stainless Steel
      January 15, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Excuse me, we judge all colors of appliances equally, thank you very much.

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    Has ANYONE ever seen title boys house? Build in the 1900’s and big as a shoe box? AND IN WORCESTER. HE SEEMS to get a hard on posting pictures of the young, poor elderly etc but o have not seen a pic of his one story barely 1000 foot bungalow. Or families own so many houses I can’t even begin to count.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      what in the fuck are you trying to say? jesus christ, take your time, type sentences, re-read before you hit send, c’mon.

    • Hi, Tammy!
      January 15, 2016 at 7:12 pm

      You seem to be forgetting that title boy is more than one person

    • Ronzo
      January 15, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      Why do all your comments read like Charlie Day wrote them ?

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    I will do what I have to do and in the next upcoming months I may not be so friendly…… Especially in th Webster square area of town on Worcester .

    • Mediocrity
      January 15, 2016 at 4:24 pm

      Sounds like a personal threat.
      Glad this is documented in case something happens…..

    • JLo
      January 17, 2016 at 1:17 am

      He’s bring Samm to come spread the Hep C
      ….. Time to bust out the clean suits!

  • Repo agent lady
    January 15, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Listen Stk3 your little family members came on this site, posted a picture of the marketing guy with his wife and called her a cunt. That’s what started this. Came looking for attention and got it. So very politely I say go fuck yourself. Stay safe repossession lady, you have a hard enough job without defending the children Samm and Jacob.

  • Woo Crew
    January 15, 2016 at 10:22 am

    Nothing screams “Ladylike” like a neck tatoo.

  • WormtownorBust
    January 15, 2016 at 9:52 am

    There are lots of nice and very bangable chicks in the Brookfields.

    Samm Rivers is not one of them.

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 9:50 am

    oh sh1t how do i delete that?

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 9:48 am

    Samm what else shuld i post? I want to slam tertleboy so bad
    im getting more of that horse we had last week
    luv u jacob

    • JLo
      January 16, 2016 at 12:05 pm

      OMG TamkyMethFace! I would know your incoherent posts anywhere!
      Whats up deflated wrinkle bag?

    • JLo
      January 16, 2016 at 12:08 pm


    • JLo
      January 17, 2016 at 1:15 am

      And thank you for confirming that you’re indeed Jacob lmao

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Thi see people every single day for the past twenty years usually I am there taking their vehicles and listening to them sob about how their houses are foreclosed on, thru lousy their jobs, spouse is leaving eycetc the list goes on……. Hard time fall on everyone at one point or another. Have a little compassion. Most of these people are working 80 house a week to try to make ends meet and the last thing they want to do it even have the energy to do is clean or paint their property! Take a ride when me one day, listen to the stories, you will have a different more compassionate outlook.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 9:33 am

      Compassion for what? Dumpy houses in middle of towns that should be torn down? Or compassion for a couple of young fucks that call people retards and fags because they obviously have deeper self issues?

    • BobnMic
      January 15, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      Jesus H Christ I understand Nate P better than this hillbilly composition.

    • IgnoranceBreedsIgnorance
      January 15, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Wait, so you are a Re-po man? If I am reading this right…which I am still not convinced about.

      • IgnoranceBreedsIgnorance
        January 15, 2016 at 1:13 pm

        P.S. Can you spell repossess? Don’t cheat now!

    • Ronzo
      January 15, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      Why do all York commentst look like Charlie Day wrote them

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Fieldbrook……..I didn’t imply “us” .I work in Worcester and ALL SURROUNDING towns. I will be very happy to meet you and discuss this in great detail.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 9:31 am

      No thanks sweetheart, I have a significant other. You’re either the oh-so lovely couple, a friend, or family. No random person is going to go out of their way to stand up for someone who calls strangers retards and fags because they’re upset about a satirical blog about dumpy parts of a town.

      • E Johnson
        March 10, 2016 at 8:40 pm

        It’s her son.

    • JLo
      January 16, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      OMG TamkyMethFace! I would know your incoherent posts anywhere!
      Whats up deflated wrinkle bag?

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 8:19 am

    This is a dangerous blog…….. People’s addresses get posted, pictures, POE’S…… IT’S just not safe. Add with my job you never know what will be the straw that breaks the camels back.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 8:27 am

      Information that is all readily available online with a quick Google search. Turtleboy doesn’t single out people, they do it to themselves.

    • Beetle
      January 15, 2016 at 11:10 am

      Give 1 example of a person’s address being posted, that isn’t a business or official (ex BU, mosaic, city counsellors), and I’ll give you $100.

      • Fieldbrook
        January 15, 2016 at 11:44 am

        Bad one, Beetle. The police log screenshots above have addresses like they always do. But that’s all public information that’s published online, in newspapers, etc. Either way, I’ll take my $100 in any bill form, no change. Thanks.

        • GoneWest
          January 16, 2016 at 10:14 am

          Pay the man beetle

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 8:16 am

    Smh….,…. Honestly I was very nieve about about why but this ispeople chose to live in Worcester. I honestly thought it was because they could not afford to live in one of the Brookfield or soundings towns…, in the past few months someone convinced me that people really do like to live in the city…… I still have my suspicions about that but whatever…… But this I will say for sure, the people in Brookfield and neighboring towns will defend those towns with all the blood and heart in their bodies…… And admiring quality actually…., I work in Worcester every single day dealing with the bullshit about people that can’t pay their bills….. It’s sad……. A little compassion goes a long way.

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 8:04 am

    Pushed to a breaking point ANYONE CAN BECOME A intentional aahole!!!!!!!!!

    • JLo
      January 16, 2016 at 11:56 am

      So are you one of the two sisters (Amanda/Samm) or are their brother Jacob?
      Is it hard for you to decide which one of your siblings to bang at night?
      All those poor inbred babies..
      And please let Samm know… Those meth pock marks on her face.. She should get some damn makeup and cover that shit.
      A bag would work wonders, too

  • CrazyPeople
    January 15, 2016 at 7:55 am

    I recently met a guy that moved his family to Connecticut to from Sturbridge because of the out of control heroin problem. It’s just a great logistical place for the scum to move drugs. You can’t deny this is a big problem for the entire area.

  • Spankster
    January 15, 2016 at 7:25 am

    Why is it that these hillbillies who pick a fight with TB always look as though their parents had the same last name BEFORE they got married??

  • Dgaf
    January 15, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Her neck tattoo pic is a bit meth-y

    • Ceasar Augustus
      January 15, 2016 at 7:25 am


    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 8:30 am

      Everything above the neck is a bit meth-y as well.

    • BobnMic
      January 15, 2016 at 12:50 pm

      Are all the chicks out in the boonies cross-eyed? Jeeze!

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 1:13 am

    Also I lot of the shit that’s left out on their front lawns is dinner perky l purely to piss off thru brand new yuppy northborough brand new neighbors who move into our small towns and go directly to the town board and demand changesc without speaking to their new neighbor first. It creates instant distrust and animosity. If you can not talk talk to your neighbors then you should have stayed in your condo and addressed only maintenance workers when you had a problem

    • Beetle
      January 15, 2016 at 2:00 am

      So you’re saying they’re intentional àssholes?

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 7:39 am

      Here we go. There’s the vulgarness and typos we’ve been waiting for. Tried to “play it nice” in the first 2 posts, but start losing it here. Doing a great job at making us believe it’s not you defending yourself.

    • Wormtown Refugee
      January 15, 2016 at 7:46 am

      @Stk3 — There must be a remedial English or Grammar course you can take at the local Voke. Might help.

      • IgnoranceBreedsIgnorance
        January 15, 2016 at 1:06 pm

        For real though, Stk3’s posts are almost unreadable. I have never been less sure of what I have read than these posts.

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 1:00 am

    As far as being poor……… You could not be FURTHER than the truth that I assure you. And what is wrong with these pictures? They are smiling in every single one……. They look like very very happy people to me me .

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 7:36 am

      They, they, they. You mean “we”.

  • Stk3
    January 15, 2016 at 12:55 am

    The way I see it these too young hard working people are in their young twenties and work a legitimate paying job every single day and though their home may be modest they do OWN IT THEMSELVES paid for 100% by money they earned honestly. Jacob works more than 60-80 hours a week to support his family and pay his taxes. His home is modest but IT IF HIS……….. More so than many people can say. My take on it was that his feelings were very hurt when he saw your opinion on his particular town. Why try to make people more depressed than they may already be working that many hours. I’m guaranty that is why Jacob came across as hostile……. It was a degrading if not everything read IMO. Maybe text time throw in a few tid bits on what the towns were. I have been in Brookfield ,45 years, we own over a dozen homes and help any honest person that may be down on their luck and will pay them for a honest days labor……. To me it seams a lot more respectful than holding a card board sign in Worcester begging for a hand out.

    • Fieldbrook
      January 15, 2016 at 7:35 am

      By “these people” you mean to say “us”, right?

    • E Johnson
      March 10, 2016 at 8:35 pm

      Stk3 – Strike 3 Recovery- oh this is mark hammond the biggest slumlord in the brookfields. Buys run down properties – just like the ones featured here- and rents them out under the radar. Jacob is the son of his loser girlfriend tammy jean dupre, the one who has been cruel to animals right?? Am i right?

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