I hate Disney World with a passion. It’s an insanely overpriced money pit disguised as a vacation. I’ve had more fun doing manual labor with my crotch fruit. The parks cost $100 a day, you can only go on the fun rides once, it’s a billion degrees if you go during the season when the airlines haven’t jacked up their prices, and there’s a plethora of abled bodied lard dumpsters using motorized scooters because walking between the fried dough stand and the rides that they can’t fit into is way too much exercise. I’ve never been to Disneyland before, but I would imagine it’s just a west coast version of Disney World, and this fight that happened there over the weekend only seems to confirm that bias.
And that ladies and gentlemen is why I will never, ever, ever step foot on Disney property ever again. Because what you just witnessed was more wildlife than I saw on the safari at Animal Kingdom. You’d think that charging people an arm and a leg would keep out the riff raff, but you quickly forget that selling food stamps on Facebook is still a lucrative way to pay for your family vacations. Let’s break down what happened here.
It begins when Anderson Fupa spits in Busta Crimes’ face over some sort of dispute over who ate the last corndog.
She of course found out very quickly that he doesn’t subscribe to the belief that women are off limits from being punched in the face.
At this point Obamaphones Jones jumped in to defend his lady’s honor, while she, being the model parent that she is, yelled “hold my daughter” and let the carriage full of EBT bait roll away.
That’s when Bacardi B came over to intervene on behalf of her friend Busta Crimes and quickly found out the hard way that Obamaphone Jones has the same policy that Busta Crimes does towards punching women in the face.
Then out of nowhere Grandma, who likely was born in the 1980’s, decided that she was going to insert herself directly in the middle of this violent altercation with her motorized scooter.
She of course wore her fanciest muumuu for the occasion and got out and started walking around because everyone who rides these things at Disney isn’t really disabled.
The fight appeared to be over but Busta Crimes wanted another round or two with Anderson Fupa.
She definitely held her own, which is a lot easier when you have your own gravitational pull.
Obamaphones Jones doesn’t need to go on any rides at Disney when he’s got Extra Space Mountain at home.
Anderson Fupa’s primary concern wasn’t “where are my semen demons?,” but rather, “Is my hair OK?”
Meanwhile Bacardi B wanted her shot at Double Chinderella, and of course Grandma decided to get in the middle of that too.
Not surprisingly Grandma went down faster than a Kardashian in a NBA locker room.
And that right there explains why California has been having so many earthquakes.
Ho-bal Warming.
Just so we’re keeping track of the teams here it’s Busta Crimes, Bacardi B, and Grandma vs. Anderson Fupa and Obamaphones Jones. So when Bacardi B saw Grandma on the ground she immediately rushed to her assistance.
But Anderson Fupa was not done and she came back and started running her cock kisser. This ended exactly how we all knew it would end – with Busta Crimes giving her the Chris Brown special.
Then Busta Crimes was alerted by one of this family members that Grandma (his mother) had been knocked to the ground after intentionally inserting herself in the middle of a violent altercation, not once, but twice. The woman in the black shirt attempted to point at the person she claimed hit Grandma, but unfortunately for Bacardi B she accidentally pointed at her.
Now keep in mind that Bacardi B and Busta Crimes are on the same team here. But if Busta Crimes believes you hit his Momma he’s going to punch you in the face and dog walk you in front of horrified children and gawking cheesehogs.
That’s just science.
Bacardi B attempted to tell Busta Crimes that it wasn’t her who assaulted Grandma.
Remember, she was actually the one who helped Grandma get back up after she became collateral damage.
But Busta Crimes doesn’t apologize to ho’s, and he wasn’t going to let a lack of facts stop him from doing what he does best – punching women in the face.
Somehow no one was arrested in this, and Disney “security” didn’t detain any parties involved. Anaheim Police are still looking for them as we speak. It’s a long shot, but if you know who any of these upstanding people are feel free to message our new Facebook page Turtleboy’s Super Terrific Happy Page and let us know their identities.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
108 Comment(s)
Why is it that people who can’t fight are the ones getting into fights? None of those clowns could beat up my 3YO grandson. Particularly amusing is that fat woman who falls over during the brawl. You know you are too fat when you don’t fall to the ground, you just kinda roll over and meet the ground with a roll. Ahh maybe that’s why they call them rolls.
Uh no, the reason you will never go to Disney world again is because of your sex offender status, parole restrictions, and a pic of you at each gate with a circle and a cross threw it.
“At this point Obamaphones Jones jumped in to defend his lady’s honor, while she, being the model parent that she is, yelled “hold my daughter” and let the carriage full of EBT bait roll away.”
It was a funny comment, but what makes it even funnier is that they are Bushphones, not Obamaphones. And before cell phones were given out, landline service for the needy was actually Reaganphone – you know, because the free phone service began under him,
But since when did anyone brain damaged enough to worship Trump care about accuracy?
Fuck off.
You seem like a really fun person.
Punch count men punching Ho’s 16, men punching men, 2.
Video made Fox News this morning.
Calling these people apes is an insult to apes.
I thought this was an ad for another Tyler Perry drama.
Wait, they’re black? I couldn’t tell at first…
There hasn’t been such ballyhoo since the last pair of Jordan’s were released.
These fuckers ruin everything for everybody all the time everywhere and we have to pay for them to breed.
if a Disney guard touched them, they’d all magically become friends and immediately sue…because Disney is racist. Just let the animals kill each other the next time they’re in line at market basket on the 1st and the 15th.
Every couple interracial, black man/white woman, in TV commercials, beaming the Progressive message home. Not a White man in sight some days, just Black faces in ads for products that i will no longer buy, seeing as they don’t want my business. This is America’s future, where the first man on the moon was Black, mission control a sea of Black faces and every old dead White man a criminal. Tearing down our history, fist fights in front of young children at Disneyworld are a Progressive’s wet dream, who wins when this happens? Who invests in thug mentality as music?
Oh just wait till I’m done with the spics then it’s on to these parasites. We’re going to need a lot of big beautiful boats. A lot….
If you’re gonna use the DT name, then come with something better than that. The Donald is funny, you are not. Lay off the DT name unless you have “A” material.
Get that big black dick out of your mouth Rian! You’re on the boat too. We’re going to start ridding the country of shitbags.
What is that fat bitch even doing at Disneyland? With an ass that big she can’t even fit on any rides! Is she there for the buffet?
They are such an animated and high-spirited culture.
They add so much diversity and depth to our society. Their robust culture is a sight to behold! The cultural tapestry they weave, makes us all richer and more complex.
This had to be staged. This is pretty far out there in the Ratchet stratosphere. Have we combed through GFM looking for a victim of this attack yet? They already went viral.
Fucking savages !
You can take ’em out of the jungle….but you can’t take the jungle out of ’em.
And they complain that they don’t get no ” respeck”.
are they all from the same tribe? fucking savages
Wow racism with no shame- whoever wrote this diatribe clearly does not like people of color. The appropriate thing would be to be concerned for the safety of the small children and the woman that were hit. A proper question would be why was nobody arrested? How many men stood by while these women were being hit?
The poor excuse of a writer seems to think that it’s logical to assume these people must be on welfare, and therefore sold food stamps /EBT cards to fund a family vacation.
We know Nothing about this family- my heart breaks for these small children.
Sure, I’ve seen a ton of racist commenters, but not a single word of this article was racist. A woman started the fight, and they were all gladly involved in it. They think it’s the cool thing to do, even at their age. The “assumptions” about ebt have nothing to do with their race, and everything to do with the way they behave and present themselves in public. People who speak and act this way do not earn incomes…and frequently do sell their food stamps. Everyone knows because they are open about it on Facebook. It is a reasonable assumption to make. If you followed Turtleboy regularly, you would see that most of the people being written about are actually white. Many with missing teeth and whatnot. Turtleboy is not racist. Maybe some if the commenters are, but not the writers of Turtleboy. I can guarantee the people in the video above are on food stamps and did something dishonest (or at least were irresponsible with their budget and have no mo eat for anything else this month) in order to afford going to Disneyland that day. I am saying that because of their behavior. By the way…I would say the same exact thing if they were white, or Hispanic. I myself am Puerto Rican, with some Blacks in my family so no…I am not racist.
Yes, I do assume that all blacks have EBT cards or are on some form of public assistance because they usually are. Also those worthless Cape Verdeans
Hi M,
People fighting in public, in front of children and sending haymakers the way of anyone near them deserve to be shamed in this way. None of the words in the blog are racist. You just want them to be as you can’t bear to see black people criticised.
Newsflash – ANYONE behaving in this savage manner should be shamed. Your ethnic background does NOT give you a free ride to behave like a cunt.
Now, off you fuck, there’s a lamb.
Point of information.
Everything with mass exerts gravitational pull. Even something as tiny Crian Waters’ cock.
That pull is directly proportional to the mass of the attracting body and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the two objects.
I thank you.
Dick Scratchet, the science ratchet.
And they wonder why white people hate them? Savages . . . .
This was better play-by-play then Howard Cosell
I was kind of expecting Don King to show up at the end. You can see this any summer day at Hampton Beach, 6 flags or rap night at the Pallidium. Why we can’t have nice things. They ruined Hampton Beach for us and why continue to travel further north into Maine to avoid them. As a survival instinct, as soon as I see a doo rag or flat brimmed hat, I leave. Maybe they were all upset over splash mountain based on Song of the South, that we are censored from ever seeing.
How long until HBO or Netflix make a movie about this disadvantaged family that white peoples have oppressed causing them to act this way
They will have either the police or Trump be the villain again because they eat it up every time
Five bucks says they all sue Disneyland now….
We waz triggered by da whiteman. Dey be flashin dey fancy clothes and wallets in da park. We had no choice but to fall for da whitemans plan. Who put guns in hood whitey who put drugs in hood whitey liquor stores on every corner whitey. So when whitey does dis we got no choice but to kill each othet and hit da crack pipe. Ratchet Rollins will help us draw up da lawsuit against the evil hard working tax paying civilized evil whiteman. He owes us and believe dis we take and take and take
They do the same shit when it’s down to the last few pairs of jordans after a hurricane hits and the apes start looting
Planet of the Apes – Disneyland Edition!
Someone please call my 800 hate line number if you see any white people in the video comitting a hate crime otherwise please do not call. Do you realize hate crimes have gone up 4000 percent under my watch. I dont care if they are real as I have an agenda to push.
I think you might be on to something here
Yea Im take my bitch to Disneyland Im gonna punch her in da face til I cant punch no more.
Awe Snap Yo. it’s Medea”s “Family Reunion” Part 2.
I thought Thunder Mountain was a ride not a black chick in blue jeans….
Blacks ruin everything. Shopping Malls were super popular until black hoodboogers started hanging out in them and chasing real shoppers off. Now Disney Land will experience the same phenomenon as blacks invade the parks and make them unsafe to visit.
I see Nike. Is that the target demographic for the brand?
Nothing to see her. No violent crimes to speak of just a minor misunderstanding occurring between people of color that some privileged folks want to misinterpret. Its their culture and I will not prosecute.
I wish Uncle Turtleboy would have wrote this one instead.
I wish A would have written his comment with the proper past participle.
Normally, The Common Man condems grammatical dick swinging in a comments section. But in this case, you made it funny, plus, it’s original content. It’s not the worn and tired “there/their/they’re” critique. Well done, I hope you continue to grammatically swing your dick.
Wow- surprised it’s a bunch of African Americans fupasloths.
As the ASSMAN, I approve of Anderson Fupa’s substantial (subSTENCHial?) posterior. Although, it would probably choke a crocodile.
Ratchets go to DisneyLAND in fucking Anaheim. They don’t go to DisneyWORLD in Orlando. Get you your shit straight. You probably go to NanatasketLAND because you’re a brokeass Masshole, who dreams of going to the DR LAND and getting poisoned with nerve gas.
Hey Def-dinks, east coast ratchets _DO_ go to Dizzy World. And it’s still everything you’d expect a ratchet-fest to be.
You’re one of the poors who can;t afford to go I assume.
I know everything there is to know about amusement parks….
Canobie Lake is 2 ponies
Whalom park was 1 pony
Sea World doesn’t have ponies
The Mustang was called a pony car…
I take it Disney World is for the elite and well heeled.
Disney Land is for the hoi polloi.
Disney Land is 85 acres.
Disney World is 27,000 acres.
6 Flags in Agawam is 235 acres.
Disney Land is around a 6 hour flight from the east coast.
Disney World from New England is about half that time.
Disney Land means 4 different time zones.
Disney World stays in the same one.
Disney Land is a one trick pony.
Disney World has 4 ponies.
Each pony is cheaper than Disney Land, but you have to pay for the 4 ponies if
want to enter each one.
Let’s go to Disney Land. I hear that Compton World is nearby and something to see.
I wonder if I would’ve been arrested if I did it? But If it wasn’t for the kids it would’ve been a victimless crime.
Stories are saying that this might be one family at each others throats.
Christmas Eve at Grandma’s never got past “You’re full of shit” among the uncles after a round of booze, blood sausage and head cheese. Grandma knew what her boys liked.
Blood sausage is exactly what it says. Fried blood in a casing.
For those who have no idea what head cheese is:
Head cheese or brawn is a cold cut that originated in Europe. A version pickled with vinegar is known as souse. Head cheese is not a dairy cheese, but a terrine or meat jelly often made with flesh from the head of a calf or pig, or less commonly a sheep or cow, and often set in aspic.
We used pigs, mother-fucker. Think of it as gray jello with head meat speckled in it. I think the booze was needed so you could down the other 2.
Mr Redshirt is an asshole. If this is acceptable in public, imagine what he does in private. Good Lord, what a bunch of vile animals.
Probably took Security a long time to get there because they hoped the animals would kill each other off if they didn’t run right over.
And lots of people with Obamaphones…but not many, or none, trying to break it up, to get Mr Redshirt off the..off the..oh yeah, off the Young Ladies.
The saddest part was the baby crying in the background. Was she being held by her Mama, who just had to stay to see who wins? Did she say ‘hold my baby’ to some random passerby so she could join the melee?
That poor, poor baby doesn’t stand a chance.
those “ladies” sure can take a punch. impressive.
What happened to all this high tech surveillance that Disney is supposed to have? I can’t help but wonder if they let certain people run wild for political reasons.
Disney sucks. Please send this to everyone you know. Let’s screw their business.
Disney = The Brockton Fair
Ratchets find a way to get everywhere. Like the vermin they are. High entrance fees can be overcome.
Which garden spot has more low lifes per capita?
1. Hampton Beach
2. The Brockton Fair
3. The Big E
4. Disney
Ooh. Tough one. I’ll have to go with Number 1.
Hampton Beach is a regional trash magnet.
You guys totally underestimate Brockton. It gets my vote.
Now you get the point bitch and if you wanna learn more check out my Boston Globe expose from July 6th. As a prosecutor I am a black and brown defendant
World War Z is real.
Surprisingly, no one looks like Brad Pitt.
Obamaphones Jones… incredible. I love SSTG over Bristol, who is now resorting to slutty pictures of herself for attention, all day!
Awww, looks like poor little porky Natasha has some jealousy issues to work through….
Nothing more catty than getting jealous at a pretty girl. Don’t ruin it for the rest of us.
The thought process behind Natasha’s comment is unknown to me. However I do agree. The antics of Bristol cheapens the content of TBS, which is otherwise fairly decent. If other readers are searching for noodz or scantily clad attention seekers, there are other corners of the interweb to do so. To assume the criticism is motivated by jealousy speaks more to your own simpleton thinking than that of Natasha. Good day dumb and desperate ape.
At least with the Jungle Boat ride you had the safety of the water between you and the mechanical animals.
I was at Disney World once in the 80s. Felt the same thing I feel when I go into a casino think “What the Fuck am I doing here?”
My sister was down in Florida a couple of years ago for a college bowl game her middle kid was playing in. She and her 2 other sons, and a SIL went to DisneyWorld for the day. After they left she told the 2 sons, “If you get married and have kids and you invite me to DisneyWorld on your dime to babysit in the evenings you are going to have to find someone else. There’s no way I’m ever coming back here”.
I’ve learned 2 things from this post……Disney is magical. I just witnessed at least 3 people in these video’s miraculously stand up without assistance after being confined to a wheel chair or Lark. Look out for the umpa lumpa looking fella in the yellow\blue train conductor ensemble while at Disney. Hopefully he works there as if not that outfit is creepy
Umm, I believe that is Trigglypuff.
You want to know what Disney is?
Google search “England Disney spiderman boy gravestone”
I could watch that for days. It really is like wild jungle monkeys fighting over a banana. I had a barrel of monkeys when I was a kid.
I’m watching a youtube commentary of this video right now.
“ComicArtistPro Secrets”
He says in the video about one of the guards. “Why does it look like he has to go PeePee?”
The security guard is grabbing his junk.
The guard is in a blue shirt behind the red shirt guy when the red shirt guy is on the ground.
Don’t they have a Mickey Jail?
The Happiest place on earth is now a Living Hell.
I haven’t been to D’land in about 30 years.
The new rides are LIT!
It’s expensive
You would need a legitimate source of income
Ah, you underestimate Julie. She has a legitimate source of income; 100% service-related disability from good old Uncle Sam, care of the VA.
My guess is that she has been diagnosed with PTSD from her “combat” tour to Camp REMF, in Almostnearabattlestan.
They let the Apes wander freely around Disneyland?
Why any white person would get in the middle of a mooncricket melee is beyond me. You’re just axing for trouble. Just let the fur fly and try not to step in the melanin manure.
Axing! Hysterical!
These are Karmala Harris’ constituents. It explains a lot…
How were they not detained by Disney security? Were they told not to interject because the SJW crusaders would be up their ass and cause problems, like causing Disney stock prices to drop? They were white, they’d be banned, detained and arrested.
Disney World lost so much of the magic of going there with paying more to see/experience less. There are now so many other things that you can experience/do for less than WDW,
Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!
That Was Awesome!
You have to spell it the way Cosell pronounced it: “Fraziah”!
You’re welcome.
Duly noted.
Limerick of the Day……
In a ratchet Disney fairy tale,
It’s tricky to tell who’s the male,
If the punches are hurled
Better go to Seaworld
Where you won’t have to fight with the whale
The Real Dick Scratcher, aged 395 lbs
I’m such a fan. I love you.
It’s mutual, of course, BTC 🙂
Please inform the people down-voting my limericks that they will get a proper dry slap when I find them – Liam Neeson stylee.
I know these people. They are every family that’s at Worcester Wallmart.
I once saw a guy beat the shit out of his girlfriend or wife at the Sears at the Eastfield Mall in Springfield.
It was the entrance by the mens department. They were “Oh Yeahing” each other as they walked by. You look but you think whatever. They then get between the 2 sets of doors. He wallops her. Everyone looks. She gets up and it looks like it’s over. 10 seconds go by and then he starts beating the shit out of her.
THEN Security came. You know deep down that if you came to her rescue, she and him would both give you a beat down because you intruded.
I know these people too, Jimmy. They are every family that’s at EVERY Walmart.
#peopleofwalmart
Man, you went from gold to platinum with that one! What a giant pod of land whales!
Geez, that Busta Crimes. With his “man” bun, pink shirt, and stereotypical fancy fairy fighting footwork, he’d have my gay friends doing the SMH. Even THEY wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him.
I’ve been the cream filling in enough domestics to know it’s not worth it for civilians to get involved but it’s free DT for me!
Don’t be the Greatest American Hero …
Just observe and report, kids!
Wait, that wasn’t the new Gorillas in the Mist exhibit?
Have they determined which confederate monument caused this? Or was it the Betsy Ross flag?
Neither. It started immediately after the first note of the National Anthem was played over the PA system.
They were in a fight to see who could kneel faster.
Over the weekend I heard AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL by Ray Charles. That should be the national anthem. His version, no others.
If we can’t have that, pick God Bless the U.S.A.by Lee Greenwood.
I dislike the National Anthem because no one can sing the fucking thing straight. Everyone tries to put their own spin on it and they fail. I think they do that, because they know they can’t sing it straight.
fuck u
Exactly. He’s the most annoying fuck on here. A big know it all
I concur, shut the fuck up
Nah…..I’m sure it was Trump’s fault.
Fuck that don’t hit women shit, they want equal rights then they can get punched in the face for talking shit too. Bitches be crazy these days and need to be reminded to stay in line when they step out. That purple hair bitch from the tv deserves some too.
“Not surprisingly Grandma went down faster than a Kardashian in a NBA locker room”.
Gold Jerry, pure gold…
They thought they were riding the African Queen also known as the orange line where fights like this happen every day. The phony disability gets you a scooter and allows you to go to the front of the line.
I’m sorry but any time spent being outraged about this just distracts from the real problem of our broken immigration system.
Actually outrage over the failure of an immigration system of the past would likely be well placed here. America will never get that shit off its shoe.
“People disrespect us because we’re Black!”
Wrong. People disrespect you, because you act like wild animals in public. Who fistfights at fucking Disneyland, for Christ’s sake?
Way to embody the stereotypes, folks! Nice work.
Dang! That scooter idea was brilliant. Why don’t white folk think of these things? Maybe baboons really are smarter than us.