Butthurt Providence Animal Rescue Leader And Her Triggered Minions Wait Years To Exact Unjustified Revenge On A Small Pennsylvania Business By Bombarding Their Page With False One Star Reviews

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The turtle is taking a little road trip to the Keystone state for some slimy shenanigans happening in the Facebook galaxy. Thanks to a sleuthy turtle rider, we bring you the saga of the Providence doggy dingleberries and the Gettysburg hat shop.

Before we continue, let’s be totally clear, the hat shop we’re discussing did not sanction this blog and I’ve never spoken to anyone associated with Dirty Billy’s. This blog was compiled based on Facebook trolling by yours truly, Rhode Island Turtle Sista, because when there’s misbehaving in MA and RI, TBS is on it.

So there’s this neat little hat shop in Gettysburg, PA called Dirty Billy’s Hats creating reproductions of headwear from the 1600s to the Modern era. From what I’ve seen, he’s very talented and the reviews show hundreds of satisfied customers.

Just a small business owner doing what he’s good at and enjoying it, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, Billy’s wife, Fran, is an advocate for animals and especially fond of Italian Greyhounds, so much so that she runs an Italian Greyhound Facebook group.

So way back in freaking 2015 in Providence there was a story about an Italian Greyhound found freezing under some lady’s car. Apparently the senior pup escaped the house the day before and when found had some medical ailments to work through. It wasn’t determined to be abuse, but animal activists went full torches and pitchforks before vet reports were even finalized. Fran, using her knowledge of IGs, came to the owner’s defense and left this review on the Almost Home Rescue FB page.

Honestly, I love a good Facebook trolling sesh, but I wasn’t even able to find Fran’s review. A nice turtle rider supplied a link to it. So it’s not super accessible and this Almost Home Rescue doesn’t even have the option to leave reviews anymore.

Here’s Fran’s take on it from Dirty Billy’s FB page:


So over two and a half years pass and someone gets the butt tickles to put Fran on blast. That someone is Carla Ciccone aka Carla Maria.

Carla left this review:

She seems like a sweetheart. Friendly, logical, and definitely not defensive. Just bashing a small business’s FB page at 8:30am in her puppy dog jam jams, the usual.

Carla, bruh, YOU need to get over it and put your inner conniving Facebook troll down for a nappy.

Yup, totally normal, nothing weird to see here…

If ANYONE should know better than to falsify bad reviews it’s friggin’ Carla. She works at the RI Supreme Court and Local 808 Union and her daddy was a RI Senator. Carla, Carla, Carla. Butthurt is not a good look.

Carla’s equally triggered partner in irrational bashing, John Ernest, also took it upon himself to falsely review Dirty Billy’s and he was just as much of a blabbermouth.

Suuuure, poorly rating this business is totally justifiable.

That cover pic really made me LOL. John’s is the same lusty look I give Mr. RITS before a rambunctious game of hide the pickle. Oh. Now I understand why that dog looks so worried.

I mean I love dogs too- I have my own 70lb couch turd- but there’s dog people and then there’s THIS guy.

Oh look, another one of Carla’s minions who thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips.

“Play nicely in the sandbox”? Get out of the sandbox, Bill, there’s children there and they don’t want to be gazing into your creepy peepers.


Now it wasn’t just Carla, John, and Bill leaving 1 star reviews, most with no text because without text the business can’t refute the rating. There are MANY more- about 18. Let’s take a spin through these Blackstone, MA and Rhode Island based puppy crusaders. Anyone know any of these turdcakes?

They all seem to be friends with Carla and/or random combinations of other poop reviewers.

Lisa (on the right) is the wife of Karen (left), who is the Business Manager of the Local 808 union where Carla works.

But Carla is TOOOTALLY not responsible for the other individuals who left bad reviews. Yep, and babies come from storks.


UGH I am sooo sick of trolling dog-obsessed looneys’ Facebook pages. If I see one more dog in a weird outfit looking scared shitless in a death grip while the owner takes a selfie I’m gonna spoon my eyeballs out.

Crystal even tried to make hers seem legit. Except that she’s friends with John Ernest and you’d sooner convince me to take a jog down Broad St past 9pm than that this she-hulk bought a civil war era hat from Billy’s.

These cowards bore me. None have responded to comments on their reviews, other than Queen of the Butthurts Carla, dog “lover” John, and creepy grandpa Bill.

Well, now they’re all Turtleboy famous!

It’s always acceptable to take down those false reviews like big boys and girls, bruh!


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17 Comment(s)
  • September 5, 2017 at 2:08 am

    What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious familiarity
    on the topic of unpredicted feelings.

  • September 3, 2017 at 1:54 am

    This design is incredible! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused.

    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well,
    almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really loved what you
    had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

  • Stunt Penis
    August 12, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    Hmmm…. latest post on Dirty Billy’s facebook page… and reviews are now apparently turned off from what I can see.

    “Dirty Billy’s Hats
    22 hrs ·
    The blog post regarding our business was written and posted by “Turtle Boy Sports”. This website is in no way affiliated with Dirty Billy’s, nor was the article sanctioned by Dirty Billy’s. The statements made in that article do not reflect the beliefs of our establishment, no matter how circumstantial the evidence. Any attempts at connecting this business with the way certain people were described by that article are not legally sound and are being construed as an attempt to further defame us. We have Crystal Young and several others positively identified as members of the Almost Home Rescue group that collaborated to harass this business and hurt our business in retaliation for the review this business owner left Almost Home Rescue. If you have an issue with the way you or someone else has been treated by Turtle Boy Sports, I suggest you take this up with Turtle Boy Sports. But any attempts to defame this shop further by connecting our name to that description is being considered as a further attempt to harass and defame this business and will be treated as such should we choose to pursue legal matters. Thank you.”

  • Gimmeeahbreak
    August 11, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    What’s the deal on all these “butthurt” references? The term shows up a lot at “Turtleboy”. It’s insulting and queer. Licking lady tacos? You folks are pretty rough. What’s the point?

  • KimberlyS
    August 11, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    The fact that Carla quoted Sappho on her FB page tells me all I need to know.

  • Finn
    August 11, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Dear “Dirty Billy’s Hats” Web Page,
    Looking at your web site reminds me of seeing someone with a flip-phone.
    Updated Technology

  • Me
    August 11, 2017 at 7:35 am

    I am so sorry people tried to trash your business. It looks like you have a really cute shop. I wish people understood how hard it is to find home’s for Greyhound’s. I wish you the best ♡

  • RatchetHuntress
    People suck
    August 10, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    Can we all please go rate the jat shop 5 stars and try to fix the mess these crazy dogstuffers made?!?

  • RatchetHuntress
    People suck
    August 10, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    I’m so sorry about what happened to you for just trying to explain the breed and help the owners of the dog! In definitely going to go rate your hat shop 5 stars and I hope other people will as well in order to try and fix your ratings. Good luck! Nice to see yippy kept it classy even when faced with these ratchimals!

  • Awesome sauce
    August 10, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Happy to say Billy’s Dirty Hats is back up to 4.7 stars on Facebook. Seems like a neat little shop.

    • Stunt Penis
      August 11, 2017 at 5:15 am

      The animal freaks on facebook are your usual keyboard kommandos. As you can tell most of them never left their parents basement and have no friends (other than their dog or cat)

  • Stunt Penis
    August 10, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    5-Star reviews to the rescue!

    Turtle Power!

  • Noseface
    August 10, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    People could actually get through that? I wanted to string myself up about a third of the way in. Listen, I know it makes good business sense to keep fresh material on the site, but a frickin hat shop in Pennsylvania? Lets go turtleboy, get your stick on the ice.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      August 10, 2017 at 10:02 pm

      Have to agree. And there is almost nothing worse (or more boring) than reading about these animal lover moonbats, regardless of which side you’re on. I love my dog, but these whack jobs that treat their pets better than they treat other people are the SJWs of the animal world.

  • Ryan
    August 10, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    Was that the 3rd chick named Chrystal mentioned in less than two weeks? Maybe it was the town I grew up in, the college I went to, or my white collar job but I’ve never known anyone named Chrystal and am thankful for it.

    • Dave
      August 10, 2017 at 9:27 pm

      So…. you’ve never been to the strip club?

  • JoeMomma
    August 10, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    She right….my dog needs dental work, she’s old and we have held off because they don’t want to put her under at her age.
    She’s eating well so we can wait until we have to decide if it’s worth the risk.

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