• California Goon Todd Kates Hoards Over 80 Snakes, Dozens Of Lizards, Eight Alligators Inside of His Thousand Oaks Home

    California Goon Todd Kates Hoards Over 80 Snakes, Dozens Of Lizards, & Alligators Inside of His Thousand Oaks Home

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    LA TimesAnimal control officers on Thursday discovered a congregation of alligators and dozens of venomous snakes inside a Thousand Oaks home where twice in the last three years a cobra has gotten loose and terrorized neighbors, officials said. Hours after investigators searched the property and recovered at least 84 snakes, Ventura County sheriff’s officials led the homeowner, Todd Kates, away in handcuffs, Sgt. Eric Buschow said. Just eight weeks ago, Kates’ next-door neighbor spotted a cobra slithering onto the property. The neighbor responded by driving a car over the snake, killing it, said Don Barre, a spokeswoman for the County of Los Angeles Department of Animal Care and Control.

    Investigators determined the snake had come from the home next door, where in 2014, an albino monocled cobra had escaped and eluded capture for days while keeping locals on edge. That snake ultimately was captured but not before biting a 7-year-old whippet named Teko.

    I wasn’t even awake for an hour and a half, barely halfway through my coffee, and see this story in the news. This dumpster ferret Todd Kates, somehow smuggled 84 fucking snakes into his house where he had many neighbors. The snakes honestly aren’t the shocking part, this goon somehow kept 8 American Alligators stored in his pool.

    I swear my neighbors knew if a rabbit crawled into my pool area. Somehow, he was able to keep 8 alligators in the pool without anybody knowing. 2 different occasions in 3 years, a venomous Cobra escaped the safari jungle, that is Todd Kates’ home. Just last night, i was on the brink of cursing out my neighbors out for their loud country music… Now i am just glad they haven’t hoarded 100s of dangerous animals in a small house.

    If were going to look at accountability for this shit, there are two groups of people that basically let this happen, the neighbors, and the authorities. It is stated in this report that a venomous cobra escaped this guys home all the way back in 2014. If a guy has 80 snakes/lizards/alligators, there is a good chance he had something more to hide other than the single snake that escaped.

    If the neighborhood was truly terrorized, you would think they would done more than sit with their wangs in between their legs for 3 years while this guy built up a mass collection. On top of that, if it was reported that a venomous snake was in possession of this guy, that would be a good reason to keep him on watch if your animal control.

    And if the snake got out, shouldn’t his permit to keep them be revoked? if he even had one? Another hole in this story, how the fuck did this guy afford all of these exotic lizards/snakes/alligators? You can’t just pluck this critters from any forest in California. I would have to think these were all bought through black market sales, i’m not an animal connoisseur so i can’t even imagine the price.

    Anyway, if you had me guess what state this came from without telling me, without a doubt i would guess California. People out there are just different, wouldn’t surprise me if this guy was doing some weird spiritual shit with all of these snakes. Or throwing extravagant pool parties with the alligators like he’s Rick Ross. Who knows, by the time this investigation is complete, authorities may also find Kevin Durant slithering out of the cesspool.

    Just Alligators lounging on the rocks no big deal.



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    1. The Executioner

      I woulda guessed West Virginia…alligators are on the east coast and there are snake charmers in the Appalachians…but wasn’t there a tiger that got loos a few years back in the Illinois area? And what about that chimp in CT that ripped off that lady’s face? Nothing should surprise us I guess…

      1. Too Tall Tim

        I don’t know if we’re allowed to have alligators and poisonous snakes in my part of Appalachia. I know we’re not allowed to have a hippopotamus. It is actually on the town’s books that it is forbidden to own or keep hippopotami as pets.

    2. The Vorlon

      It would have been less expensive to fly to Australia than to try to recreate it.

      Maybe the authorities should exile him to Rattlesnake Island in the Quabbin.

    3. Johnny Sins

      “Who knows, by the time this investigation is complete, authorities may also find Kevin Durant slithering out of the cesspool.” Absolutely legendary line.

    4. The Crazy Snake Lady

      It is not really that difficult to purchase venomous reptiles, although I would assume most reputable breeders/sellers would require a copy of the purchasers venomous certificate or license. Alligators are a different story, and if the town he lived in didn’t specifically ban them, he may have been within his rights to keep them. His sanity is a completely different story.

      I have snakes (non venemous). It’s really not that difficult to keep them contained. It’s people like this idjit that give us responsible reptile keepers a bad name.

    5. wabbitt

      A guy with that many snakes has to be over compensating gor something.

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