A local south coast man has started a boycott of Planet Fitness after they defamed his character, prevented him from giving a hot blonde access to his pleasure stick, and got him kicked out of his MMA gym.
Just to review:
- He was at a Planet Fitness and ended up getting banned from there because he asked a woman out, but only because a “crazy spoiled broad” exaggerated what happened
- Their staff is “weak, futile, and not in shape,” unlike Ryan Kilby, who is a walking crockpot of boiling sex juice
- This somehow got him kicked out of the “best damn MMA gym,” where he no doubt trains to kick people’s asses
- At the gym he trains at now a hot blonde was eyeing him, which obviously happened because everywhere he goes hot blonde women are attracted to his glow rod
- However, due to the negative experience at Planet Fitness with the other woman, he was afraid to approach the hot blonde who wanted his nuts because he didn’t wanna become a #MeToo statistic. If not he’d probably be spelunking in her tampon tunnel by now.
- He found this sort of of behavior (women who don’t sleep with him) typical of Americans, as he’s usually into European, African, Asian, South American, and Australian chicks. Just no Canadians or Antarctic chicks. They’re almost as bad as American women.
- Luckily it’s not a big deal because another lucky blonde woman last month got some “good dick” from him in Rhode Island
- This woman engaged in a sex session that he wishes was recorded, because evidently the woman yelled “holy shit that dick is bombin” which came to him as a surprise, which is totally something women say during climax
I believe him though. Just check out his workout and samurai videos.
We will keep you updated about this ongoing boycott of Fall River and Somerset Planet Fitnesses as details develop.
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