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Caption Contest For Free Gift Certificate To Smokestack Urban Barbecue

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

If you’ve never eaten at Smokestack Urban Barbecue before then Turtleboy feels bad for you. So what we’re gonna do once a week is give away $10 gift certificates to turtle riders who come up with the funniest captions for the pictures we put up in these blogs. Last week’s winner was Abu Taymiyyah. Message us with your address and we’ll mail it out to you immediately. FYI he was our backup winner because the guy we were gonna pick left a fake email address on the blog, so there was no way for us to contact that person. So if you wanna win this week, make sure you leave a real email address when you comment.

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

This week’s Caption Contest picture comes from Hampton Beach, because now that the summer is coming it means that Hampton will once again become the debauchery capital of New England. The best comment left on our Facebook page or on this blog will receive a $10 gift certificate to Smokestack Urban Barbecue. Go.

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 11.07.26 AM

46 Comment(s)
  • Xtine
    June 4, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    Thank god I have my depends on in this traffic. You can never trust a fart!!

  • Mike Honcho
    June 4, 2016 at 5:42 am

    G.U.P.A – Gut over penis area

  • Brian
    June 3, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    Forget about the helmet law…let’s start with a girdle law…

  • DM
    June 2, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Gas tank-Empty. Beer tank-FULL!

  • DM
    June 2, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Not exactly what I meant when I asked the Harley dealer for a Fatboy!

  • Blooop
    June 1, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    Hampton :
    Best beach bodies, and airbrushed italian flags in the USA. Everyone’s barefoot in stores, and for 1.2 million arcade tickets you can get a Chinese finger trap and a tootsie roll!

  • Hanginpossum
    June 1, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    Gotta wear the sneaks until the breaks are fixed. Reminds me, shoulda wore a helmet

  • Woodiculous
    June 1, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Ride or cry.

  • Mirror Mirror
    June 1, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    I ride a Harley so I need the gut to hide my micro-penis.

  • Sal Monella
    June 1, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    Mass Irony: stuffed pork chop on a hog!

  • Bogojo2
    June 1, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    GUT to Ride

  • Colleen
    June 1, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    “Fried dough, fried dough, fried dough….”

  • Turd Burglestein
    June 1, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    I like my women like I like my bike…rode hard and put up wet.

  • JessinMass
    June 1, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    “Food baby on board!”

  • Rhode1
    June 1, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    “Do you know the Muffin Man?”

  • Big Papa
    June 1, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    The rumble below the thighs makes the belly shirts rise. Go Hampton!

  • Joe Max
    June 1, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    ” Jerry Garcia Forever ” .

  • Bill P.
    June 1, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    ‘Hi, I’m a fat disgusting slob that rides a Harley’

  • Sissy Hankshaw
    June 1, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Santa’s cooler older brother

  • Louis Gilford Cote
    June 1, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Aidan sucks!

  • Tony take 2
    June 1, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    You’ve heard of “Sun’s out, guns out”, but when in Hampton, it’s “Sluts out, gut’s out”

  • KJDS
    June 1, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    Working on the perfect belly burn – ladies gonna love this ūüôā

  • WormtownorBust
    June 1, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    “This doesn’t look like Provincetown…”

  • John Kurtz
    June 1, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    “Sun’s out, guts out!”

  • Fitchburg-shuffle
    June 1, 2016 at 12:27 pm

    Who’s the guy running down the strip with a Motorcycle sticking out of his ass?

  • Tony
    June 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Sun’s out, guns out & sluts out, gut’s out.

  • TDF
    June 1, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    “Nothing says sexy like the wind whistling through your navel”

  • Kevin Lynch
    June 1, 2016 at 11:58 am

    He could be the Marshall for Hampton Beach. “The original party animal still rides.”

    He is on his way to Weir Beach for the WOW reunion (whip it out Wednesday.) I think he is a judge for the contest.

  • Tngsucks
    June 1, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Still going for the Britney Spears look.

  • Rational person
    June 1, 2016 at 11:55 am

    And this is one reason I have never been to Hampton Beach.

  • Wormtown Refugee
    June 1, 2016 at 11:49 am

    “Hampton Beach: Live free, OD and die, get the shit kicked out of you by rats from Haverhill…”

  • Bowen Hardcase
    June 1, 2016 at 11:45 am

    “Visit Hampton Beach, when your MA unemployment check goes further!”

    • Bowen Hardcase
      June 1, 2016 at 11:46 am

      *where

    • Bowen Hardcase
      June 1, 2016 at 11:49 am

      Aidan is the TBS!

  • Kevin Lynch
    June 1, 2016 at 11:45 am

    Even guys can get pregnant in Hampton.

  • Aidan is the TBS
    June 1, 2016 at 11:45 am

    Aidan Kearney wishes that the guy was riding him!

  • Kevin Lynch
    June 1, 2016 at 11:43 am

    The guy on the bike is there every year, he is still trying to get laid since his summer break down in Hampton beach when he was in highschool.

    That guy has been partying in Hampton beach since his high school graduation. The teachers should show them a picture of this guy and say,kids this is what you will look like in 40 yrs if you party in Hampton beach this summer, grampa the party animal.”

    Is that a spuds Machenzie tatoo?

  • MommaH
    June 1, 2016 at 11:42 am

    He sure know how to ride that HOG…lol

    • MommaH
      June 1, 2016 at 11:54 am

      He sure is going to give Aidan his HOG…lol

      • MommaH
        June 1, 2016 at 3:07 pm

        I didn’t post this one…wtf

  • MommaH
    June 1, 2016 at 11:41 am

    He’s coming back to pick me up and bring me to this Smokestack that everyone raves about…lol

  • MommaH
    June 1, 2016 at 11:39 am

    Yummaliscious

  • Kevin Lynch
    June 1, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Brett hasn’t been online what did you send him down to Hampton to bother 15 and 16 yr old girls?

    • Kevin Lynch
      June 1, 2016 at 11:55 am

      By 15 and 16 yr old girls…I mean Aidan Kearny! lol! He’s going to give it to the TBS real good!

  • Kevin
    June 1, 2016 at 11:31 am

    This place sucks!! I’m going back to Salisbury.

    • Buttafuco
      June 1, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      Welcome to Happy Hampton!

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