Breaking news: A 12 year old boy in Chicopee was nearly kidnapped on his way to Dupont Middle School today….
It was shared over 1,000 times in 3 hours so it’s gotta be legit. I mean, if this face doesn’t scream “credible”…..
….then I don’t know what does. Luckily this brisket boriqua’s 12 year old was faster than the grown adult who tried and failed to grab him by the backpack. Let that be a lesson to all parents out there – STAY WOKE!!
Obviously the first thing citizens can do to help when something like this happens is to tag the media so they can publish the unconfirmed anecdote of some dumpback fail on Facebook.
Next step was to find other unconfirmed yet equally wild stories about people being kidnapped at major intersections in broad daylight.
This was followed by great advice like, “parents should hide if possible,” because you never know if the kidnapper is coming for you next.
So as it turns out the Chicopee Police were made aware of this, and the kid had an investigation done on his behalf. Turns out her crotch fruit was pulling a Jussie Smollett the whole time.
Oh look, the child made it all up. Shocking.
Of course what really happened here is simple – the kid wanted an early start to the weekend, so he made up a kidnapping story and got to leave school before it even began. He called up his gutterslug of a mother, who will believe anything he says, and evidently can afford to stay in bed on a Thursday and watch movies all day.
(Probably because she’s got a really good stock portfolio, so her money works for her)
What is wrong with parents in 2019? Since when did they start believing dumb shit children tell them? Ya know who doesn’t tend to believe shit like this? Dads. Unfortunately the most confusing day in Chicopee is father’s day, so these kids can keep playing their Moms like so many men have done before they emerged from the stench trench.
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