Social Justice Warriors

Clark Chick From Turners Falls Publishes Hilarious List Of 48 “Very Serious” Problems Oppressing Clark Students

Clark Chick From Turners Falls Publishes Hilarious List Of 48 “Very Serious” Problems Oppressing Clark Students

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Someone sent us this hilarious article from a Clark University student named Alyssa Adams. The Greenfield/Turners Falls native entitled her Buzzfeed style list “48 Very Serious Questions I have For Clark University.” And as you can imagine, it was VERY serious.

LOL. Just kidding. It’s a bunch of hilarious whining that illustrates everything that is wrong with the mentality of dumbass college students who go to schools like Clark. Keep in mind, this is a white girl, who comes from a predominantly white town, and is choosing to go to an expensive predominantly white University.






Here’s some of the her best grievances……

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I know, it’s hard to graduate from college without having mandatory minority sensitivity training. And there’s nothing racist by assuming that every black and brown person you encounter will be such a hypersensitive butthurt that you need a “training” in order to prepare you for interaction with them. Hey Alyssa, here in Worcester we have a minority sensitivity training already. It’s called recess in the Worcester Public Schools. Teaches you more about interacting with people who look differently than you do than any class ever could.

Here’s the funny part – Clark already has a mandatory minority sensitivity training, taught by a black woman they just hired. And she actually taught kids at this year’s training that it’s racist and/or sexist to say “everyone can succeed,” singalong to rap music, and use the term “you guys” when addressing your friends.

New Clark Univeristy Chief Diversity Officer Explains To Freshmen That “Everyone Can Succeed” Is Racist, They Can’t Singalong To Rap Music, And “You Guys” Is A Sexist Term


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Wait….what? I thought guys who said they were girls were officially girls? Why should they have to dump in the “gender neutral” bathroom? They should be able to release the chocolate hostages in the girl’s room like every other girl!! Transphobic much?


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Yea, we should get more free shit. It’s the University’s job to make sure I don’t get pregnant after my hipster boyfriend delivers the Thanksgiving stuffing. I should not have to $3 to get a pack of condoms. Someone else should pay for this.


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Ummmm…..what exactly do you think you’re doing by making this list? This has to be a joke right? She can’t possibly be so dumb that she doesn’t see the irony in this question.


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Well, to be blunt, it’s because PC culture sucks and no one likes people like you. You’re awful. You’re not fun. You spend your life looking for things to be offended by. But Clark actually embraces PC culture, so I’m not sure why you’re blaming them. Maybe if they gave you free birth control you’d stop whining. Probably not though.


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Because no one else will buy your professor’s books on amazon, and Barnes and Noble ain’t selling it, so he or she makes it mandatory reading for the course. Because then you have to buy it.


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SJW’s REALLY hate anything resembling a wall. FYI, this is the “gate” at Clark University:


As you can see, the gate just protects that small semicircle of grass. The gate is for aesthetic purposes. You can just walk through the pillars on the sidewalk the school built for your convenience. Or just walk onto campus from Maywood Street, Florence Street, or any other street that abuts campus property. Very oppressed.


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Because in the real world your name is the name on your birth certificate. Sure, you might’ve declared that you’ve transisted from Stephen to Stephanie, but legally you’re still Stephen.


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How do you “celebrate” domestic minorities? And do African or Haitian immigrants count as “domestic minorities?” So….what is Clark supposed to do exactly? Have a surprise party for all the black students and give them a round of applause for being black? Yay, you!! We’re gonna celebrate the color of your skin!!! Because some chick from Turner Falls is ravaged with white guilt. Now eat this cake!!


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This appears to be Alyssa’s dorm room:


You mean you only get 12 hours to move your futon, Bernie sign, rainbow flag, and Marilyn Monroe posters into your campus owned apartment that your Daddy is paying for? The struggle is real girl!!


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A white chick from a white town, demanding professors who aren’t white. Try harder to prove that you’re one of the good ones. You can’t.


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Great question. Why isn’t the school providing you with more free shit? Don’t they know how traumatic it is to be a privileged white girl at an expensive private university? Counselors should be available 24/7 so Alyssa Adams can talk about her feelings.


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Another GFQ. It’s not tolerant enough to simply have a LGBTQIANHW3% club. There should be MULTIPLE clubs that compete against one another for campus domination. Although #41 might actually answer #42 Alyssa:

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So let me get this straight. Students at Clark aren’t joining all these stupid, waste of time clubs, and your solution is to not only make more clubs, but make more clubs that already exist? Yup, you’re gonna do JUST fine when you graduate from college with a degree in Gender Studies.


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It’s almost as if it’s their job is to clean stuff on campus!! You’re right though Alyssa, we should cut back their duties, which will then force them to layoff more working class people, that you allegedly care so much about.


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Well, your faculty actually gets paid just fine. That’s why tuition is so high. If they got paid dog shit they’d go to another school. This is how wages are decided in a free market.


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Well Alyssa, it gets expensive running a privately funded university. That’s why you’re gonna be broke for the next 20 years. Because you were too good for Fitchburg State. Clark doesn’t get as much money from the government, but they do have to pay for your dorm maintenance, professor’s salaries, health insurance, and of course cultural sensitivity training.

Of course we’ve come to expect such whining from some idiot millenials. This girl is from Turners Falls. A school that’s been forced to change their mascot from the Indians, because white people like her are offended by it:

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No Alyssa, the Indigenous people do not care about this name. It’s just white people like thisI know you’re trying to help people who you think are oppressed, but they just don’t care. Stop trying so hard.

She also doesn’t like the pledge of allegiance:

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She thinks cities like Somerville should hang Black Lives Matter banners on city property:

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She “WILL NOT BE QUIET” about injustice:

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Translation – “I’m going to post this for my echo chamber to read on Facebook. I’m making a difference.”

It’s not OK to generalize people of color, but white people are fair game:

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She’s a big fan of the Huffington Post (home of many butthurt former turtle riders) and thinks it’s racist to use the term “all lives matter”:

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She says she’s sexually harassed all the time at work:

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I shit you not – sexually harassed:

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Because male customers at her work “say hey” to her, look at her nametag, “show off their money,” ask her questions like “where do you go to school,” purposely stand in her line even though it’s longer, and tell her she looks young. Traumatizing.

And finally I loved this:

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She HATES Clark!!! They do such a shitty job with everything!! Imagine she could just transfer schools to a university or college that better met her needs? Imagine that was possible? Too bad Clark is literally the only school in the entire country so she’s stuck there. Don’t worry Alyssa, we’ll get through this together. If you need a safe space then holler at your boy TB. Peace fam.


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49 Comment(s)
  • hans
    January 27, 2017 at 11:15 pm


  • dingus mcfluff
    January 27, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    question: when did turtle boy sports go from being a somewhat funny, relevant worcester news blog to a “slam everyone based on their differing beliefs and physical appearance”?

    seriously, most of the shit written on here is starting to sound like a long-winded man child’s temper tantrum.

    great idea: why don’t you write a story about why you’re not teaching anymore????

    • Observer X
      January 27, 2017 at 10:59 pm

      Alyssa’s FB account is now down, curiously…

      • hans
        January 27, 2017 at 11:16 pm

        what does she mean by a “lucrative comment”?

    • hans
      January 27, 2017 at 11:18 pm

      who is turtleboy?

  • Chris
    January 27, 2017 at 10:49 am

    This girl has no allegiance to the USA!

  • Jay
    January 26, 2017 at 10:47 am

    Who fucking cares…leave people alone already.

  • Alana
    January 25, 2017 at 11:36 pm

    You all have no idea what this young lady has overcome to put herself through college. I realize that by writing a piece like that she opened herself up to criticism, but this girl has beat the odds and is lucky to be alive to even have an opinion. Alyssa is a survivor. Her passion for life in spite of the shitty hand life has dealt her thus far is nothing less than admirable. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. .

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      January 26, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Big fucking deal!! People do it all of the time and become successful. No clapping of the hands necessary, it’s what a driven and motivated adult should do.

      • BobnMic
        January 26, 2017 at 9:41 am

        ^^^ Oh Jesus really? Like you know anything about being a “driven and motivated adult” is all about? You the total polar opposite of that.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          January 26, 2017 at 1:32 pm

          Don’t you have some heroic stories to make up about how you’re some amazing retired detective saving lives?

          • BobnMic
            January 27, 2017 at 11:27 pm

            I got plenty if you got the time sweetie. I prefer the more crazy funny stories to be honest. And THOSE I got trust me.

          • BobnMic
            January 27, 2017 at 11:29 pm

            Allegedly – I almost forgot.

      • BobnMic
        January 26, 2017 at 10:15 am

        I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and…I like to kiss my own butt.

    • Talisman
      January 26, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      Yeah, she’s had it real tough her 20 something years on the planet. Her complaints of the disastrous living conditions at this SJW farm are a travesty. She’s malnourished, sleeps in a drainage pipe and is a saint, right?
      Cry us a river.
      Her diatribe is nothing but another example of an entitlement parasite that is ranting because her little safe space is not exactly how she demands it to be.

      • BobnMic
        January 26, 2017 at 1:22 pm

        Great post Talisman, you seem like my kinda girl. Do you want to get a private chat room sometime?

        • Talisman
          January 26, 2017 at 1:34 pm

          Thanks for interest there Bobber, but I’ll defer to Kevin Lynch to fill all your chatroom orifices.

          • BobnMic
            January 26, 2017 at 2:12 pm

            That sounds like an awesome idea there Mr. Talisman. Would you be willing to do me a big favor though and man the video camera while Kevin & I bump our uglies? I would want to preserve a moment like that for eternity. Don’t worry though, you don’t have to get too close to the action. If you want to stand behind a plexiglass shield I’m sure we can work this out. And I will pay you top dollar for your services too. So do we have a deal?

          • Talisman
            January 26, 2017 at 2:24 pm

            Word on the skreet is he’s got a full video production studio with a sesame street theme in his basement, so you don’t need me and can get off cheap, so to speak. Somebody also said to watch out for his 9 iron, it can be nasty and he’s got a case of the shanks.

          • BobnMic
            January 26, 2017 at 2:31 pm

            My fondest wish would be for Turd Burglestein to be burgling my back door and Kevin Lynch takes his 9 iron right to that asshole’s head. I really hate that Turd guy if you couldn’t tell.

          • Talisman
            January 26, 2017 at 2:48 pm

            Yes, anyone that posts with an avatar that has a porcelain and duke smiley face is a menace to society

  • Mr Butthurt
    January 25, 2017 at 9:49 pm

    Ummmm Not a chance I would hit that

  • Sloppy
    January 25, 2017 at 6:34 pm

    Liberalism is a hobby and a lifestyle for miserable people to latch on to, in order for them to band together and blame their misery on a higher power (that power being the collective oppression coming from those of us who enjoy our lives and who aren’t miserable).

  • Bob
    January 25, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    Have fun with the lawsuits this article is about to create for you and his website jackass

    • The Poop Hole Loop Hole
      January 25, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Internet lawsuit! Come on down! Ok. Bob

  • Dick Dover
    January 25, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Her appetite must be oppresive. Conspicuous consumsion has made her a bit fat in the ass, and her burple neck could use some activism.

  • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
    January 25, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    She’s hot. I would knock the bottom out of that shit. I would take that ring out of her nose and use it as a cock ring even though it might be a little loose. Do you think I have a chance with her?

  • Lincolntf
    January 25, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Typical Social Justice Vampire. Stays up all night, sucks at everything.

  • Jenny Craig
    January 25, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    She’s lucky even going to college. Wonder how much government assistance she received and receives going to Clark ? Why not give back in some way, for a change ?

  • fordsnharleys
    January 25, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    I’m almost willing to spring for the condoms to keep her from reproducing.

    • Paul Larson
      January 25, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      Condoms are such a waste! You need to RETAIN the sperm. If they leave you in any manner, you are best advised to get them back in! I myself prefer “feltching” sometimes referred to as “shrimp sauce”. Should you use a condom, you can make sure the liquid gets squoze back out for retention. DO NOT, under any circumstances, use spermicidal condoms or lubricants. Retaining dead little swimmers is counterproductive, you’re better off letting those ones go.

      Paul Larson

      • Jack D. Ripper
        February 11, 2017 at 5:29 pm

        Precious Bodily Fluids

    • PorkyPig
      January 25, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      That body is all the condom she will ever need……

      • Buck Futts
        January 25, 2017 at 5:50 pm

        She won’t get pregnant in the butt.

  • Paul Larson
    January 25, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    I never went to Clark. My writing talent is on loan from God herself… It is a sight to behold. I will be gracing this blog with my unique brand of talent for as long as she allows it. Here is a letter and a rosewood engraved pen I found:

    Worcester Telegram & Gazette

    Dear Mr. Larson,

    July 2, 2012


    Your letter to The People’s Forum has been selected as the Letter of the Week.
    Your engraved rosewood Telegram & Gazette Letter of the Week pen is enclosed. We hope you enjoy it.

    Chris Sinacola
    Editor of the Editorial Pages

    Of course now the T&G is just an apologist for the undemocratic Democratic Party!

    Paul Larson

  • whatevuh
    January 25, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    I guarantee this girl is a frustrated virgin, mainly because she needs her pussy grabbed but no self respecting black guy will do it

    • Sterlingsilva
      January 25, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      You win the internets!

      January 26, 2017 at 12:47 am

      Umm, she’s a chubby, white, doesn’t know she’s a lesbo yet. And you don’t think she hasn’t tried to fuck blacks yet? Lol. She’s tried to fill that hole with every available remedy and it hasn’t taken yet. Sounds like Trenni and Reamer

  • Paul Larson
    January 25, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    I train every day (you might even call me a trainable), I have done Shaolin medication since 1773, I have done laxitives since 1867, and I started weight training in 1959, boxing and wrestling in 2061, and have been training ever since. I do dudes every day, I studied Balls on my Chin Na with Dr. Yang in the 1780s, and studied 3 years with Wally Gator, Bobby Lee’s Fuji-tsu teacher and member of the Canvas Belt Hall of Fame. I studied with Dan Marino, 10th Dan, Danny Wood (NKOTB 4 Lyfe bitches), 7th Dan at the time, and Roan Nadago, 7th Danny Tanner at the time and Okinawan Cum-o champion and GoJo Master Scratchy Orange Pumice Soap. I practice Shaolin and Daoist medication, sperm retention (drink 4-6oz per day… preferable straight from the tap), weight training, Ju Ju Bee GoJo Ryu-walla-walla-bing-bang, Booger-kan Okinawa-Ti (first American to study at the Ashram Bulkie Roll). Bulkie was the martial art of the Mutubu family, the kings of Sausage Meat Smoking. When I was in high school, I had a Springfield College student on a Wrestling Scholarship challenge me to a fight. If I won, I got sucked off, if he won, I sucked him off. I say win-win… So we 69’d all afternoon. He ended up being a Major in Green Berets in Vietnam, but I licked his ass so bad that he never bothered me again. (I learned how to please the brown eye years later.) I heard from a mutual friend that he was blind for two weeks. (I guess I licked good enough. Tee hee.) Recently, I was paid to participate in a 2-year gang bang study at the age of 69 years old, because the cardiologist couldn’t believe what great shape my heart is in. I attribute it to all of the sperm I retain.

    PS-I don’t waste my energy on smoking, drinking (haven’t had a drink since May 5, 1982, other than that delectable sperm I retain) or drugs (except China White, I LOVE that shit, and the occasional fatty).

    Paul Larson

    • ZephyrCat
      January 25, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      You are fuckin’ sick!!!

      • True Reality Speaks
        Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
        January 25, 2017 at 7:48 pm

        It’s a troll. And a tiresome one at that.

        Some days he makes BobnMic look interesting.

    • Smoo2
      January 25, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      Things must have changed since I attended Clark in the late 70s. Health Services gave out free condoms back then and the biggest scandal was when they handed out a case of condoms that were later found to have a strange manufacturing defect called holes. Never found out if the campus had a rise in the pregnancy rate among students. And we had unisex bathrooms in some dorms. Nothing like walking into the bathroom for a morning pee to find a naked woman brushing her teeth!

    • BobnMic
      January 28, 2017 at 12:02 am

      That is a lot of time and energy spent on mocking a Vietnam Veteran that undoubtedly got mocked and ridiculed back in the late 60s leading to mid 70’s upon his return to “so-called home” from Vietnam. So you fucking asshole SJWs, code for modern day mindless hippies, are going to return this man back to those days of embarrassment just so you can get your immature fucking jollies off?

      What is wrong with you fucking people Jesus H. Christ.

      Why do you do this? What kind of barbarians are you? What is your motivation? So what – Marine Paul Larson knows more about American history and world topics and politics than any of us combined. Not to mention he could kick all of our asses without exception. Hands down no pun intended.

      Look, you have a lot of fun attacking me. You do in so many different ways. So just keep doing that to satisfy your evil and cowardly side. But for the love of Christ will you please leave this respected veteran who VOLUNTEERED for the Vietnam War the fuck alone please.

      I can’t believe that I even have to ask this.

      I’m serious and I beg you. Just come after me please and leave him alone. Thank you.

  • 1776
    January 25, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    she is a SJW vomit fest.

  • juror seven esq.
    January 25, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    Number 6, about the gender neutral bath rooms, get this girl a calendar. We aren’t to the end of January 2017 yet. The “promise” in her own statement was fall of 2017.

  • ZephyrCat
    January 25, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    The only thing I get from this is that she spends time on everything but getting some sort of education. Well, couple other details- her beta-boyfriend sure has the bumfluff beard going for him. And that Clark has a chief diversity officer ( how much does that pay. I gotta know!!)

  • Lou P
    January 25, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    I’d be totally embarrassed if she were my daughter.
    Her parents should cut her loose and let her find her way in the real world.

    • Toto
      January 25, 2017 at 11:06 pm

      Her parents are dead. For real.

      Feel better now?

      • Wabbitt
        January 26, 2017 at 5:20 pm

        Odd. Usually when people lose their parents at a young age, they grow up quickly as part of the coping process.

        Nope. She’s still a petulant child whining about everything.

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