Clark Chick From Turners Falls Publishes Hilarious List Of 48 “Very Serious” Problems Oppressing Clark Students

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Someone sent us this hilarious article from a Clark University student named Alyssa Adams. The Greenfield/Turners Falls native entitled her Buzzfeed style list “48 Very Serious Questions I have For Clark University.” And as you can imagine, it was VERY serious.

LOL. Just kidding. It’s a bunch of hilarious whining that illustrates everything that is wrong with the mentality of dumbass college students who go to schools like Clark. Keep in mind, this is a white girl, who comes from a predominantly white town, and is choosing to go to an expensive predominantly white University.

Here’s some of the her best grievances……

I know, it’s hard to graduate from college without having mandatory minority sensitivity training. And there’s nothing racist by assuming that every black and brown person you encounter will be such a hypersensitive butthurt that you need a “training” in order to prepare you for interaction with them. Hey Alyssa, here in Worcester we have a minority sensitivity training already. It’s called recess in the Worcester Public Schools. Teaches you more about interacting with people who look differently than you do than any class ever could.

Here’s the funny part – Clark already has a mandatory minority sensitivity training, taught by a black woman they just hired. And she actually taught kids at this year’s training that it’s racist and/or sexist to say “everyone can succeed,” singalong to rap music, and use the term “you guys” when addressing your friends.

New Clark Univeristy Chief Diversity Officer Explains To Freshmen That “Everyone Can Succeed” Is Racist, They Can’t Singalong To Rap Music, And “You Guys” Is A Sexist Term

Wait….what? I thought guys who said they were girls were officially girls? Why should they have to dump in the “gender neutral” bathroom? They should be able to release the chocolate hostages in the girl’s room like every other girl!! Transphobic much?

Yea, we should get more free shit. It’s the University’s job to make sure I don’t get pregnant after my hipster boyfriend delivers the Thanksgiving stuffing. I should not have to $3 to get a pack of condoms. Someone else should pay for this.

Ummmm…..what exactly do you think you’re doing by making this list? This has to be a joke right? She can’t possibly be so dumb that she doesn’t see the irony in this question.

Well, to be blunt, it’s because PC culture sucks and no one likes people like you. You’re awful. You’re not fun. You spend your life looking for things to be offended by. But Clark actually embraces PC culture, so I’m not sure why you’re blaming them. Maybe if they gave you free birth control you’d stop whining. Probably not though.

Because no one else will buy your professor’s books on amazon, and Barnes and Noble ain’t selling it, so he or she makes it mandatory reading for the course. Because then you have to buy it.

SJW’s REALLY hate anything resembling a wall. FYI, this is the “gate” at Clark University:

As you can see, the gate just protects that small semicircle of grass. The gate is for aesthetic purposes. You can just walk through the pillars on the sidewalk the school built for your convenience. Or just walk onto campus from Maywood Street, Florence Street, or any other street that abuts campus property. Very oppressed.

Because in the real world your name is the name on your birth certificate. Sure, you might’ve declared that you’ve transisted from Stephen to Stephanie, but legally you’re still Stephen.

How do you “celebrate” domestic minorities? And do African or Haitian immigrants count as “domestic minorities?” So….what is Clark supposed to do exactly? Have a surprise party for all the black students and give them a round of applause for being black? Yay, you!! We’re gonna celebrate the color of your skin!!! Because some chick from Turner Falls is ravaged with white guilt. Now eat this cake!!

This appears to be Alyssa’s dorm room:

You mean you only get 12 hours to move your futon, Bernie sign, rainbow flag, and Marilyn Monroe posters into your campus owned apartment that your Daddy is paying for? The struggle is real girl!!

A white chick from a white town, demanding professors who aren’t white. Try harder to prove that you’re one of the good ones. You can’t.

Great question. Why isn’t the school providing you with more free shit? Don’t they know how traumatic it is to be a privileged white girl at an expensive private university? Counselors should be available 24/7 so Alyssa Adams can talk about her feelings.

Another GFQ. It’s not tolerant enough to simply have a LGBTQIANHW3% club. There should be MULTIPLE clubs that compete against one another for campus domination. Although #41 might actually answer #42 Alyssa:

So let me get this straight. Students at Clark aren’t joining all these stupid, waste of time clubs, and your solution is to not only make more clubs, but make more clubs that already exist? Yup, you’re gonna do JUST fine when you graduate from college with a degree in Gender Studies.

It’s almost as if it’s their job is to clean stuff on campus!! You’re right though Alyssa, we should cut back their duties, which will then force them to layoff more working class people, that you allegedly care so much about.

Well, your faculty actually gets paid just fine. That’s why tuition is so high. If they got paid dog shit they’d go to another school. This is how wages are decided in a free market.

Well Alyssa, it gets expensive running a privately funded university. That’s why you’re gonna be broke for the next 20 years. Because you were too good for Fitchburg State. Clark doesn’t get as much money from the government, but they do have to pay for your dorm maintenance, professor’s salaries, health insurance, and of course cultural sensitivity training.

Of course we’ve come to expect such whining from some idiot millenials. This girl is from Turners Falls. A school that’s been forced to change their mascot from the Indians, because white people like her are offended by it:

No Alyssa, the Indigenous people do not care about this name. It’s just white people like this. I know you’re trying to help people who you think are oppressed, but they just don’t care. Stop trying so hard.

She also doesn’t like the pledge of allegiance:

She thinks cities like Somerville should hang Black Lives Matter banners on city property:

She “WILL NOT BE QUIET” about injustice:

Translation – “I’m going to post this for my echo chamber to read on Facebook. I’m making a difference.”

It’s not OK to generalize people of color, but white people are fair game:

She’s a big fan of the Huffington Post (home of many butthurt former turtle riders) and thinks it’s racist to use the term “all lives matter”:

She says she’s sexually harassed all the time at work:

I shit you not – sexually harassed:

Because male customers at her work “say hey” to her, look at her nametag, “show off their money,” ask her questions like “where do you go to school,” purposely stand in her line even though it’s longer, and tell her she looks young. Traumatizing.

And finally I loved this:

She HATES Clark!!! They do such a shitty job with everything!! Imagine she could just transfer schools to a university or college that better met her needs? Imagine that was possible? Too bad Clark is literally the only school in the entire country so she’s stuck there. Don’t worry Alyssa, we’ll get through this together. If you need a safe space then holler at your boy TB. Peace fam.

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