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I’m starting to think that Clive McFarlane is actually kind of brilliant. It’s 2015 so the name of the game is page views, and that guy has gotta be raking in the clicks. Granted he’s a moron, but you have to respect his hustle. The man knows how to piss you off and get people to feed into his bullshit in the comments. I mean, I’m to the point where I think he might be playing me. Today he wrote about something that he just KNEW would get everyone’s juices going – Rudy Guliani’s claim that Barrack Obama doesn’t love America.
Guliani made this statement days ago and it’s been all the rage on CNN. It’s literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Yesterday the headline was about Wisconsin Republican Governor Scott Walker and his reaction to the speech. I shit you not, it was titled, “Governor Walker says he doesn’t know if Obama loves his country.” It’s been the top commented story for the past two days. This is what we’ve come to – an article about a guy who basically said “No comment” is front page news.
I’ve been saying it since the beginning of this mess – who gives a shit what Rudy Guliani has to say about anything? Is it 2001? No? Then you couldn’t possibly be less significant than Guliani right now. At this point it’s like interviewing your Grandpa just to get him going. Why anyone would take anything he says seriously is beyond me.
But even worse than that is interviewing every Republican out there about what they think of it. Like it fucking matters!! I’m pretty sure we all speak for ourselves in this country. Why should anyone have to answer for crazy uncle Rudy?
For the record Rudy Guliani is a moron. I think he was a great mayor of New York City, but when you go around saying shit like that you just sound dumb. Obviously Obama likes America just as much as the next guy. If Rudy wanted to say that his policies are fucking America up that’s one thing. But he doesn’t love America? That’s just dumb.
This is where my man Clive comes in. He wrote a whole column today about how Obama is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It opened up a shitstorm in the comments. I have to actually respect his hustle touggh. It was brilliant timing and he probably got a shitload of clicks which looks good for the advertisers.
Now I don’t really have strong opinions either way about the President. I’m of the belief that it doesn’t really matter who’s president unless you’re in the army or you’re a defense contractor.
If you’re in the National Guard and a Republican is President then you’re never getting laid because you’re gonna be in the Middle East all the time trying to fix some impossibly unfixable problem. Happened to a shitload of people I know during the Bush years. In that case you want a democrat in office, unless you’re some dude from Arkansas who gets his jollies killing some a-rabs.
If you’re a defense contractor and a Democrat is in office then you’re always worried about losing your job on account of America acting like international naniburgers. You need a Republican in office so you can send your kids to college and kick everyone’s ass!!
So basically as a blogger I have no horse in the race. Doesn’t really matter who’s president because my life isn’t affected either way. I do love to watch the fireworks though and there were some good ones today. I was gonna play a drinking game and take a shot every time someone said “socialist,” or “Muslim,” in the comments, but then I realized that was extremely dangerous and I’m not 19 any more. Here are some of my favorites:
“It is true obama is a muslim scumbag that hates us all.” Yup. It’s an undeniable scientific fact. This poor idiot doesn’t realize he’s legitimizing all the stupid shit Clive says on the regular. Hey genius, leave the Clive bashing to Turtleboy.
You cracked the case Gordie!!!
You forgot to mention that he’s a Muslim terrorist lover. I only award you half the points.
See that’s how it’s done people. If you’re gonna call Obama a socialist make sure you do it multiple times and sprinkle in some “illegals” and “welfare” for added effect.
Yea Obama. Do you think we’ve forgotten about your last speech when you started off with this gem – “George Washington was a Muslim – Allah Akbar!!” I haven’t.
Hey that sounds sensible!! Get the hell out of my face with that jive, ya damn socialist Muslim!!!
European Socialist? Nice, now we’re kicking it up a notch. First he was born in Pakistan. Then it was Indonesia. Then it was Kenya. Now apparently he’s Swedish. Because after all, there are a lot of Swedes named Barrack Obama.
Then there was this one at the top of the comments section:
Hey Telegram – what the fuck? Seriously, I know you’re using Google Adsense because the ads are all catered to the websites I’ve gone to. So where’d you pull this one up from? I don’t even know what to do with this. Are you saying I have fungus on my vagina? Are you mocking me because I never fought that guy at the Whitco? Anything that starts with “Vag” is something I’m not interested in learning about. And if I did have a va-jay-jay you would best believe it would smell like fresh potpourri. Take your Vagisil and shove it up your Muslim terrorist-loving socialist keester!!
The bottom line is that Clive is a moron not because he has Obama’s back. Lots of normal people have Obama’s back. He did get elected twice after all. No, Clive’s a moron because he hates teachers and cops – people that everyone of all political affiliations should support. I’d ask you all to stop commenting with nonsense like this, but then again it’s wildly entertaining for me. So as weird as I feel saying this – keep up the good work Clive. (puke)
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