Hoodrat Heroes

Couple Caught Boning In Car With 6 Year Old Kid After Eating McDonalds Says They Were Cuddling, Has Same Last Name As Brookfield Boners

Nothing to see here folks – just a couple of winners eating McDonald’s and having sex with their kid in the backseat while they pretend they were “cuddling.”

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Remember the Brookfield boners from a couple days ago?

Lovebirds Caught Boning Midthrust Outside Of Brookfield Elementary School Should Probably Finish Quicker Next Time Or Wait Until It’s Warm Out

Well, credit to them – they both ventured onto the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page to defend their spicy front lawn love making:




Yea, what is this, communist Sweden? You can’t even go to the bone zone on your front lawn anymore? I mean, who hasn’t done that before? Especially in the freezing cold when you live on Main Street and your next door neighbor is a classrom full of kindergarteners.


Yes Sam, people tend to be more perfect behind closed doors. But when they start doing the horizontal mambo on their front lawns, that’s generally when they become Turtleboy legends.

Well, we almost had to do a double take the next day when we saw this article from Orange, Connecticut, and saw someone with a familiar surname caught in a similar act of public fornication:

A couple was arrested after allegedly engaging in sexual activity in the McDonald’s parking lot on the Boston Post Road in Orange with their 6-year-old child in the backseat. Orange Police say McDonald’s employees were leaving work after their shifts ended just after 9:30 p.m. when they saw 27-year-old Rory Clark and 28-year-old Kimberly Onorato engaging in sexual activity in the front seat of their car. Police say Onorato and Clark had a six-year-old child awake in the back seat. Police say Onorato was partially undressed when police got on scene. The couple told police they had only been cuddling after eating at McDonald’s. Both adults were taken into custody and charged. The child was placed into the custody of a relative. The incident was also reported to DCF.



God bless America. Where winners like this can get a microwaved bacon double cheeseburger and go right back to makin bacon in the front seat of their car while their six year old child asks them why “weekend Dad” is mounting Mommy in the passenger’s seat.

Gotta love the explanation too:

“Sooooo……why are you guys naked in a parking lot with your kid in the back seat?”

“Oh, sorry, officer. We were just enjoying our post-value menu nude cuddle. Who hasn’t done that before?”

Obviously Kim Onorato has fantastic taste in men.



His sex appeal is undeniable. What woman isn’t looking for a guy in his 20’s with a receding hairline, 24/7 Newport light breath, and a face covered in peach fuzz pubes?

He’s got a great investment plan for the six year old’s college education too:


And he’s the master of the bathroom selfie.


But seriously, imagine a six year old in the backseat of a car and seeing these two things going to poundtown two feet in front of you:


Then imagine you had to call one of them Mom. Poor kid. They should’ve just boned on the front lawn next to an elementary school.


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13 Comment(s)
  • Sue izbicki
    April 3, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Wow my friend dated him for a few weeks she had to break it off when he said fish are not animals hahaha I am far from surprised to hear this he is a weirdo for sure

  • Rory C 'Yes I wanna Super size it'
    November 27, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    Here’s to my special girl I like to call ‘Leah’ in hopes we can bump ugly at a Burger King soon!!!

  • Kevin Lynch
    November 26, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    If I run for mayor of Fitchburg again, will you guys vote for me if i make Bobnmic deputy mayor?

    • Turd Burglestein
      November 26, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      I bet it’d be like hiring Barney Fife.

  • Mediocrity
    November 26, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Poor kid: “My mommy had a Big Mac with special sauce between 2 buns”

    • Jozzbot
      November 26, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      Hahahaha thats awesome I bet it had lots of cheese

      • Turd Burglestein
        November 26, 2016 at 4:01 pm

        Is that a #pizzagate reference?

      • Devils Mouthpiece
        November 26, 2016 at 5:24 pm

        Yeah, fromunda cheese. Oooie, gooie that smells like over really ripe limburger.

  • Professor M
    November 26, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    You just know this is how Sheisty Lawyer Ricans kid was conceived. I bet her kid only sees a bath tub the day DCF comes to check up on the kid. LMAO

  • Sam Onorato
    November 26, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    No relation.

    • Turleboyisannoying
      November 26, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      I think someone needs to point out of the fact it was late at night and sam and his girl where just two consenting adults getting adventerous…… comparing them to the mcdonalds people (who have zero relation) is a just another way for turtle boy to spice up his article…..good for you sam! Fuck turtle boy and his privledged ass.

      • Sam Onorato
        November 27, 2016 at 10:51 am

        All you guys wish you were hitting as fine a piece of ass as I am. You know my girl is hot. I know how to reach down and grab a woman by the pussy. I do that shit better than Trump.

        MAGA & GALA

        Get America Laid Again

  • Paul Larson
    November 26, 2016 at 11:53 am

    “… everywhere and all the time we have fought for white supremacy.”
    Democrat Charles Aycock, governor of South Carolina, 1901 – 1905

    Source: Page xvii, Democracy Betrayed – The Wilmington Race Riot of 1898 and It’s Legacy, by David S. Cecelski & Timothy R. Tyson, 1998

    Paul Larson

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