Hoodrat Heroes

Crack Feen Barbie Defends Drug Dealing Spunk Grenade Currently Banging Her After She Gets Arrested With Him By Manchester Police In Crack Cocaine Bust

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Big drug bust up in Manchvegas…..

 

That’s it? 26 grams of crack cocaine, $1,800 and some burner phones? I fully support the police, but this is like Billy Madison getting a birthday party for passing the third grade. We’re talking about Manchester here. Do you realize how much crack cocaine you can find in Manchester? All of it. And we’re out here celebrating 26 grams and some cell phones? Lowered expectations like you read about.

But that’s not why I chose to blog this story. I was all over this one like ratchets on raw dog because one of the slopqueefs graced us with her presence in the comments, and she was everything you dreamed she would be and more.

If you ever get arrested during a drug bust, and you wanna defend the honor of yourself and the ex-con currently tossing you some D, it’s always a good idea to show up in the comments and speak in hoodbooger dialect. Studies have shown that often convinces people who would normally be on the fence about your guilt or innocence.

And your story doesn’t add up either Smashley. Ya know, because the cops are saying that your dirty dick distributor was arrested at the stashhouse when they came there to arrest him on warrants. I’m sure they were hoping for a bigger haul, but from the looks of you it’s safe to say that the second you come in the vicinity of crack cocaine it disappears faster than a steak and cheese on a blunt rider with Amy Schumer.

Some would call her stupid for what she wrote, but she disagrees.

Oh snap, we got a high school graduate (equivalency) in the house!! Y’all better recognize.

And please, for you Derry people, stop calling it Pinkerton Academy. No one is fooled. It’s public school. You go there for free because the taxpayers let you. They just kept that name to make all the future strippers they produce feel like they attended prep school.

She had a message for the haters.

 

She’ll wipe the floor with you, but she certainly won’t wipe your teeth.

Let me give you a little Manchester evolution to show you how she ended up here on Turtleboy.

It starts when with a high school romance.

After taking 6 years to graduate from PUBLIC school you meet a guy with a pubestache. He’s into NasCar and never leaving Manchester, and he’s got a job down at the mill making slightly above minimum wage, so the next thing you know this happens.

Because obviously it was meant to be.

Pubestache seems like a decent guy and the two of you plan on having a nice white trash lifestyle, complete with the multiple satellite dishes attached to the section 8 lair where you will continue to spread the baby batter around.

But then you realize you’re 19 and you can’t imagine yourself gyrating on only one cock for the rest of your life. You hate the fact that you have a crotch fruit at home who always needs shit and ties you down. You need action in your life. Something to spice it up. So you go down to whores R us and have yourself a shopping spree.

Next thing you know you’ve got a new man named T-Bone who calls you, “get in the fucking car.”

He’s obviously living large since he’s got a tube TV on top of a laundry basket while wearing Walmart brand mesh pants.

Meanwhile, you’re sporting a jacket with flags of the world, indicating the nationalities of every guy whose spunk grenade has been granted access to your tampon tunnel.

And T-Bone’s over here thinking,

“She bout to get that money, then she bout to get this D.”

But eventually T-Bone beats the shit out of you one too many times and ends up getting locked up. No biggie, because his boy Edgar jumps in to keep the taco warmer room temperature while he’s doing his 2.5 years in county.

And if there’s one thing Edgar knows, it’s crack cocaine.

But there’s a problem – you’ve got competition for Edgar.

And ultimately you can’t compete with that so you go right back to the trailer park you came from.

There spend a lot of time in rundown crackmill apartments where Level 3 Eddie mills around in the background looking to see if anyone dropped their crack on the floor.

You’re only 20 years old right now, but you definitely wanna keep on the path you’re going, because by age 27 you can see what your future will look like.

Remember the baby? Good times. Where the fuck’s he at? Ehh, who cares. That’s Shane’s problem now.

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40 Comment(s)
  • I identify as BROKE
    January 1, 2019 at 10:13 am

    Romeo & Joliette Street, Manch

  • Welcome to the jungle
    December 26, 2018 at 10:49 am

    Jungle Fever

  • bigdaddy
    December 24, 2018 at 12:48 pm

    Ever see that add “faces of meth” before and after pictures ? This story could be faces of ratchet

  • EmfnT
    December 24, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Holy shit. I was gonna ask how a chick goes from typical cute high school girl to full ratchet ho so quickly. But then I saw that family portrait and realized she was doomed for this life. I almost feel sorry for her because it looks like she never really had a chance. Parenting is everything.

  • bob
    December 24, 2018 at 9:30 am

    She should put her race down on applications as OPAQUE. The woman has absolutely no color.

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    December 24, 2018 at 9:28 am

    I hate seeing this. Reminds me of Sage from Webduh. These girls have some youthful beauty to offer and choose to squander it on power losers. Quickly it’s gone. When I think of the guys out there who can’t find a decent chick to marry and then see girls like this throw away their chances on these vermin. Ugh. Over and over and over….

  • James Crow
    December 24, 2018 at 5:55 am

    i use Ant Drugs in order to communicate with Emmet Pismire, also a graduate of Pinkerton Academy. Does anyone know if Miss Dustin has become a full-blown Democrat yet?

  • Fortune 500
    December 23, 2018 at 11:59 pm

    Her chances of making it to Hampton Beach one day on the back of a Harley were probably better with Vokestache. There is some glassware and a couple of cylinders of some kind of gas sitting on the table when she’s posing pregnant so it’s not easy to say if she’s really any worse off.

  • Frank Rizzo
    December 23, 2018 at 8:02 pm

    M T Bae, you are in fine fettle regarding this piece. My Regards, Frank Rizzo

  • Oprah Skinfrey
    December 23, 2018 at 6:36 pm

    Choo Choo, all aboard the STD train!!! You get a herpes, you get a herpes, you get a herpes!!! And if you look under your seat, there’s an angry case of clap for you to boot!

  • Out of Time
    December 23, 2018 at 6:32 pm

    By Order of The Prophet each person appearing in these photos is sentenced to death by their own hand it is the will of God.

  • Hello
    December 23, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Lol she did not graduate from Pinkerton, she went to ombudsman. She has two kids she doesn’t care about and the father of the kids has them full time, they are well loved and taken care of. Everyone can feel bad for him, but he stepped up in a time of need. She’s a joke.

    • bigdaddy
      December 23, 2018 at 6:29 pm

      Glad he stepped up and sounds like a real father I am sure she will spit out some crotch critters with the brothers

  • z
    December 23, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    That hat (Z and the sword) has the Legend of Zelda logo on it. It intrigued me so I did an online search.

    Really??

    Maybe you like the game, but dude you’re a grown ass man.
    I suppose he could sported a My Little Pony hat.

  • Steve Buscemi
    December 23, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    ……who gots my lighter.

    The 1990’s called. They want their crack back.

  • Judge dread
    December 23, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    i mean we got bill clinton up in this bitch. i don’t know what to judge her with other than being a vapid, insecure douche canoe.

    send her up the river to sing sing. i hope the tolerant lesbians she loves so much converge on her like coyotes on some type of fucking “i’m a basic white chick. don’t eat me alive” yah you douche canoe animals don’t speak english. i hope you get eaten alive. it will save the tax payers like what $30k/year?

    every time i look into your eyes i see failure and SNAP.

  • PINKERTON ACADEMY
    December 23, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    The school is literally called Pinkerton Academy it’s not Pinkerton HS…so what would you like us to call it? I graduated from there and that’s it’s name so you sound retarded saying ” stop calling it that” ….my second note is whoah she’s definitely going to a toothless crackhead on backpage by 25 if she keeps up this snow bunny drug phase

    • Rusty Trumbohn
      December 23, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      The town needs to knock off the “Academy” mumbo jumbo and just call it “Derry High School” like it should have always been before they tried slapping lipstick on it. It’s probably better than most of what passes for high schools in NH but come on, let’s get real…

    • The pictures say it all
      December 23, 2018 at 11:35 pm

      Her pink hurtin and that’s a true story 

  • Gimme dat white meat
    December 23, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    You can actually see the transformation in the photos from probably decent if not a little easy chick in the top photo down to the worn out tattooed druggie mudshark passaround at the bottom.

    • Stunt Penis
      December 24, 2018 at 6:03 am

      Yup, you nailed it.

      Average looking, not overly unattractive but somewhat plain girl with nice body. Likely could have latched on to a decent man and had a good life for herself had she played her cards right.

      Sad waste of humanity. Makes you wonder what the impetus was for her choice of paths to follow in life… poor parenting? no father figure? wrong crowd in high school?

      At least the father is stepping up for his kids. Don’t know what type of person he is, but it shows some morals and integrity at least, assuming he isn’t a fuckup as well.

  • Pest Control
    December 23, 2018 at 12:48 pm

    That poor guy she had a kid with. She is garbage now

    • Captain Trips
      December 23, 2018 at 12:53 pm

      The poor bastard’s probably paying support up the yang while she smokes crack with the brothers

      • Hello
        December 23, 2018 at 5:44 pm

        He’s actually not paying support. He’s taking care of both kids on his own while she’s out living her best life. And he’s not a bastard he stepped up when she let her life go down this path.

  • Captain Trips
    December 23, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    “He was not at the residents”
    Need read no further

  • Bill Clinton
    December 23, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    nyuk nyuk nyuk

    I already got myself an energizer… i wonder if she’d like to be my duracell!

    • Judge dread
      December 23, 2018 at 9:59 pm

      I knew you were gonna hit it. I love you.

  • Dark Truth
    December 23, 2018 at 10:09 am

    Burn the coal, pay the toll.

    • Dr. Colon
      December 23, 2018 at 12:27 pm

      After all of that black snake she could have a full colonoscopy without sedation and without wincing once

  • I p freely
    December 23, 2018 at 10:06 am

    Pinkerton Academy must be so proud of this graduate. Her ability to put a sentence and paragraph together is incredible. I wish i could send my kids to that bastion of learning. Said no one .

  • Ivan Jurgenov
    December 23, 2018 at 10:04 am

    How far back do you need to go in timeto when Manchester wasn’t a gas station toilet plastered in diarrhea? I’m guessing 1940’s?

  • Drago
    December 23, 2018 at 9:54 am

    She should be spayed

  • whatevuh
    December 23, 2018 at 9:50 am

    WTF, no GoFundMe for Christmas presents ?

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    December 23, 2018 at 9:37 am

    Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! Good old ratchet pig bitch kind of story to send us into Christmas! Would have done her back in the day, but not there’s no amount of scrubbing or dental work that woukd make he appealing. You can never get those flaps clean. And the smell of 4 different taints is like gangrene on a pig.

    • Tickle me pink
      December 23, 2018 at 11:46 pm

      “Good old ratchet pig bitch kind of story to send us into Christmas! ”
      That just made me warm inside!

      • Two Patch Crappy Jacj
        December 25, 2018 at 3:32 pm

        Lolol! Merry Christmas6

  • Turdchomper
    December 23, 2018 at 9:36 am

    I spit out coffee at “level 3 Eddie”

    • Sarah
      December 23, 2018 at 5:58 pm

      Agreed! These are stories that I come to the TBS site for. Nicely done.

    • Mayday
      December 23, 2018 at 10:29 pm

      Leave Eddie alone, maybe he is helping his bud look for his “pink carnation”

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