Crian Waters Is Appealing The Court’s Decision In The Most Predictable Move Imaginable, And His Motion Is Enraging

A part of me wants to feel bad for Rian Waters, I really do. I try to muster up some empathy and imagine what it would be like to be an utterly useless shit smear of a human being, completely unemployable and spineless, with the face of a fetal alcohol child. It must really suck. Then I remember that he beat up the mother of his child, killed a dog, and then tried to sue her because he got arrested for breaking the law. My resolve to empathize wanes. Then, he pulls some shit like this latest stunt, and I find myself just really wishing he’d get hit by a bus or something.


In other words, I really hate this chudstuffer. He’s a verified human dumpster fire.

“I’ll get you some day, Turtleboy, and another little dog, too!”

I think anyone with a third grade education at minimum could surmise that he was going to appeal the court’s decision, which completely eviscerated the frivolous complaint he has been wasting the boss’s time with for the past year. That’s a given, because Crian is the biggest bitch to come out of Western Mass, ever, and that is quite the feat. But he really outdid himself on this complaint, from start to finish. Let’s do the play-by-play, starting with the first page:

“I’ll start putting the address again when it’s safe to do so.” Get fucked, you lily-soft, yeast-caked pussy. Show me the police reports where anyone, ever, has shown up to your fucking address because you put it in court documents. They haven’t, they don’t exist. Here’s an idea, if you’re truly in fear for your life – stop being such a flaming sack of worthless dog shit. Just for five minutes of your meaningless life. People might like you more. You won’t, though, because you’re not in fear for your fucking life. Here, take a card.

The motion then continues on, to nitpick every little immaterial inaccuracy listed in the court’s decision, as if that makes even so much as an iota of a difference.

It doesn’t. The judge could have erroneously called Samantha Cardin your neighborhood mail carrier, Rian, and it doesn’t change the fact that you did this to her.

You limp-dicked, fetal alcohol looking objective moron.

Then, in the most sleazy, butthurt, bitch-ass move imaginable, Crian, who feels it “unsafe” to properly file court documents by including his address, actually starts making threats to then try to leverage the court into bending to his will.

This courts refusal to allow me to be fairly heard (you were fairly heard, fucknut – your complaint was just bullshit) initially hurt my roommates (who cares), my first witness (who cares), my daughter (the only thing that hurts her is you), and myself the most (good.)”

“But long term this courts refusal to protect my rights is hurting the Defendants the most. If I was fairly heard I would have never filed a criminal complaint against Aidan Kearney. If I don’t get an opportunity to fairly provide evidence in 1879CV00344, I will file a new separate lawsuit for malicious prosecution against Samantha Cardin, and after an immediate deposition I will not only win by summary judgement, but I will also file criminal perjury charges against her.”

Those are the words of a fucking terrorist. Allow me to translate for you, “I want to win, I feel I deserve to win because my fragile little over-inflated baby ego can’t handle being told when I’m wrong, and if this court doesn’t do what I say right now, people are going to get hurt.” Look up ‘abuse of process’. fuck-wit. You’re hovering dangerously close. The court system was not designed with the intent for you to bully people into complying with your whims. Brute force and unrelenting idiocy is never the path to exoneration. True innocence is, and survey says, that’s not what you’re working with here. Yet here we are, and that’s how you’re using it. I’m sure Milky Mike is beaming with pride watching everything he taught his imbecile little fuckpuppet.

Misconstrue the law again for Daddy.

He just can’t stand being outed for the woman beating, dog murdering, stupid, greasy, quivering little bloody twat that he is. He can’t stand the fact that his ex moved on, leaving him miles behind, and both she and his daughter are all the better for it. So instead he files time-consuming, baseless, and harassing motions like this, with absolute nonsense “exhibits” attached like this:


Breaking news, Mr. Missing Chromosomes: nobody knows, or gives a fuck about, whose couch you happen to be crashing on. Not at all, and certainly not enough to harass them. Fuck your roommates, whoever they are, if you all died in a house fire no one would care. I don’t even know if I believe they exist, because who could stand living around the stench of such an unwashed, narcissistic douchewhistle?

There’s only one thing that prevented bitch-ass Crian from presenting evidence to substantiate his claims, and we all know it – that evidence doesn’t fucking exist.  I’m glad to be able to say, that confirmed by a judge, he is a dog-murderer and domestic abuser, and guess what, Rian? You lose. You lose now, you’ll lose in the future, you’ve been losing your whole life. I know exactly where this motion is going – the same place as all the other court action you tried to threaten the courts with if you don’t get your way. Nowhere. But that doesn’t make you less of a cowardly, pathetic scoundrel for trying it. Go ahead, Rian, put on your Goodwill suit jacket that’s five sizes too large and makes you look like a bed-wetting sixth grader, and march on down to court. I hope that after they deny every one of your feeble attempts to harass and control your victim, and us, that you get hit by a bus. And I hope the First Responders stop for coffee before scraping you off the roadway – that’s exactly what you deserve.

19 Comment(s)
  • Jennifer Drake
    July 9, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    Is this the big threat he was alluding to before? Oh yeah, you guys should be scared now!

  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    July 9, 2019 at 11:12 am


    I’m sure attorney Chrisanthopoulos is happy.

    • July 9, 2019 at 11:16 am

      You can’t see how morally reprehensible this is? Listen, full disclosure – the blog being sued doesn’t bother me much (probably because it doesn’t affect me much.) But the fact that this guy is out here, using the civil court system to continue to torment, threaten and attempt to control his ex crawls right up my ass. This isn’t all that uncommon, but it should be.

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 10, 2019 at 9:22 am

        100% correct, BTC.

        Also, Milky Nadia Gaffney can go fuck themselves sideways, as far as I’m concerned.

  • capone181
    Total Mayhem
    July 9, 2019 at 10:00 am

    It takes a decent amount of money to sue someone. I don’t believe Rian is working, if so, I wonder who is fronting this fishing expedition for him.

    The only way to stop this foolishness is a successful counter suit $$$$$. It would also set a precedent for other people launching frivolous lawsuits, be careful what you start it just might boomerang back in your own face. I’d love to see Turtleboy start and win one, just for future reference to the masses.

    • Unfortunately
      July 10, 2019 at 10:42 am

      It costs Rian nothing. Eventually he’s going to piss a judge off and get in trouble but he can get away with this for a long time. The system is designed to reward bad actors.

  • I See Dumb People
    I see Dumb people
    July 9, 2019 at 9:36 am

    This piece of shit is a text book narcissist and abuser. So happy to hear Sam got away from him and I pray that she stays away from him.. People like him do not change they blame everyone but themselves for their shitty actions and leave a path of destruction in their wake. Sam if you are reading this…You are a beautiful and strong woman ! You and your daughter are better off without him now and always! Always know your worth and do not fall for his whiny poor me bullshit or any of his threats to bring you to court, No judge in their right mind would allow him to continue his abuse and harrasment of you through their court rooms. He is and always will be a pathetic lying abuser. You on the other hand will continue to heal from the trauma he has put you and your daughter through and everyday things will be a bit easier for you . stay as far away from him as possible and cut all contact as he will just continue to try to manipulate and control you and you deserve so much better for you and your daughter.

  • Big Wick
    July 9, 2019 at 9:11 am

    1st, Suzep had a great comment. And the suggestion of getting Rian and KC together is interesting (although, I have to admit, KC appears to display symptoms of serious mental illness, so I do have a shred of sympathy, wishing Metro had the balls to get her help).
    2nd, I’d like to see every Rian blog be led by a high-resolution image of the 2019 Ratchet Madness Award. He needs the reminder that his past and present (and I’m sure we will see, future) behavior has justified the dishonor.
    3rd, way back in the day, there were some youths who would have called him a “retard” (pronounced “REE-tahrd”). His signature looks like it was written holding the pen in a fist, and tends to support the previous observation.
    4th, unless and until he grows a pair, grows up and does something to improve his lot, he will deserve all the entertaining blogs that will be published. And, as the great Dick Scratcher might say, “Hey, Rian, stop being such a silly twat (prounounced TWATT, rhymes with BAT).”

  • Merv
    July 9, 2019 at 8:13 am

    I don’t know where you keep finding pictures of Rian and Mike in bed together but you would think that taking that stuff off of their FB pages would be the first thing that they did. I don’t think it’s cool to mock their lifestyle but it’s like they just keep feeding this blog red meat.

    • The Name Game
      July 10, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      I honestly cannot discern whether you’re being naively serious, or just trying to be cleverly sarcastic.

  • Suzep Gomer Peas
    July 9, 2019 at 7:01 am

    When the public can read this guy’s claim to be hiding out of fright, when there is no proof of a threat, and the picture of that girl’s shiner (like was anyone else in that relationship, does he expected people to believe she did it to herself, or someone else), and then see his weak court complaints, only to follow it up with more weak verbiage PLUS coercive language that he will make this girl’s life more miserable, because he lost to Turtleboy Sports, all, together, and individually prove, he is by far, the biggest pussy ever covered by Turtleboy Sports. Does he not understand, his claim of the harmful looks in court, were right in the presence of a judge, who must have just wet themselves laughing when he read that in the complaint. This guy is too stupid to figure out the first amendment, too stupid to figure out the writers opinions are not tangible facts of threats to do harm, which all also supports that he is not only the biggest pussy that Turtleboy Sports has dealt with, he is by far, the most uneducated and weak-minded individual yet. And let’s face it folks, Turtleboy Sports has dealt with some pretty big losers over the years. I got an idea, Rian Waters and KC Hill should hook up, wouldn’t that be a match made in Southeastern Mass hell?:

  • dball31211
    Stiff Pete
    July 9, 2019 at 1:10 am

    Yeah the courts love it when you know more about the law then they do. He’s so smart lol

  • z
    July 8, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    “One of the biggest reasons I haven’t provided evidence has been to protect her and my child from the harmful effects of Aidan Kearney’s harrassment.”

    I’m assuming her is Samantha.

    What the does that even mean? I am protecting her, but I going to come after her big time AFTER I WIN?

  • Itchy Balls
    July 8, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    Wish I could be there when the judge reads how he threaten the court if he doesn’t get his way……

  • Ray Patriarca
    Raymond Patriarca
    July 8, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    This kid, besides being utterly insane and unhinged, is a fucking twat !
    He totally needs a good, old fashioned bitch-slap.
    If I was the father of Ms. Cardin, the law would be the least of his worries…… because there would be no place on the planet that this little cunt would be able to hide.

  • Klancy
    July 8, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    Come on Bristol. Tell us how you really feel. Holding in those emotions can’t be healthy.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    July 8, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    Can I just wish the same fate on his crack-whore mom who was too busy giving out $3 blow-jobs to learn how to spell Ryan correctly?

    This waste of human existence needs strangling and feeding to the pigs in my humble opinion.

    I’m here in England waiting, whenever you’re ready, Crain, you odious little turd of cuntshit.

    • TortugaNiño
      July 8, 2019 at 10:14 pm

      Oooo i hope clip guys comes thru and gives us a less on pigs from Snatch!!!!

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 8, 2019 at 10:34 pm

        Do you know what the word “nemesis” means?

        A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.

        Personified in this case, by an ‘orrible cunt…….. me!

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