Dear Election Nazis – We Dare You To Arrest Us For Posting Our Completed Ballots On The Internet

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Today we urged people to not only vote the Turtleboy ticket, but take a picture of their completed ballot and send it to Turtleboy:






More than anything we just wanna document how many write ins we got against Jim McGovern. Honestly, I think we’ll give him the best run for his money since Peter Blute in 96.

But a bunch of people have chimed in with the “ballot selfies are illegal” jive. Newsflash – obviously we know that. That’s the whole point of this. We are DARING the secretary of state, or whoever is in charge of enforcing this pointless law, to arrest us. First of all, good luck proving shit. How do you know WE took this picture? How do you know it wasn’t sent to us? Yea, that sounds like it will stand up in court. Definitely.

Secondly, good luck proving who runs our Facebook account, which you’d have to do in order to arrest someone for posting this on Facebook.

Thirdly, we would love nothing more than to get arrested for this. It would be great to destroy the state of Massachusetts in a court of law. We’d look forward to that. But they won’t arrest us, because they know they’ll lose in court. All you have to do is look at the recent decision by a federal court which ruled that New Hampshire’s law which banned the use of ballot selfies was unconstitutional. The precedent has been set. Laws that ban ballot selfies are not legal.

Fourthly, if Justin Timberlake doesn’t get arrested for it, then obviously the cops don’t give a shit about Turtleboy.


The fact of the matter is that ballot selfies are free speech. It’s as American as you can possibly get. It’s no different than going home and telling your family and friends who you voted for. It’s no different than going on Facebook and telling everyone who you voted for. It’s just proof that you’re not lying about it.

More importantly, we should be encouraging ballot selfies. People that are taking these pictures are so enthused about participating in the democratic process that they want to show the world. This is a good thing. What kind of soulless, worthless individual would have a problem with that? Because we’d love to humiliate them in an actual, real court of law. So please, arrest me whore.


If they had any intention of enforcing this law they would confiscate cell phones at the door and have signs everywhere telling you not to take your phone out. Even then you could still do it.

Here are the states where “ballot selfies” are illegal (in red):


The whole country will be blue within a couple of years. Either that or they just have to ignore this law because they’ll never be able to arrest anyone for it. Please, help us fight the man. Keep sending us your ballot selfies and we’ll keep posting them. We will never, ever reveal who sent us what, not that we’ll be put in that situation because we all know that they’ll never even dream of arresting us for breaking this meaningless law.


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8 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    November 10, 2016 at 9:06 am

    When I voted at the start of early voting, I wrote in Turtleboy against McGovern. Only reason I didn’t take a picture was that it was in the town clerk’s office and I was seated about two feet from the guy working the desk.

  • Hanging Chad
    November 8, 2016 at 8:42 pm

    Whoa look out! Good for you TB you’re a real rebel! What’s next, a video of you cutting the tag off a mattress?

  • Reddog
    November 8, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    I wrote in TB over McGovern too

  • Your DNC Overlord
    November 8, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    The law is so that Mary Keene and Kevin Ksen know who to punish.

  • Anderson Likes It In the Pooper
    November 8, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    Those I voted stickers are gay. Does everything about your life need to be told?

    Fuck McGovern that fucking 1/2 woman communist faggot

  • JL
    November 8, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    I wrote in Turtleboy against Jim McGovern and Ryan Fattman Fuck em

  • Marathon Man
    November 8, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    My one concern with ballot selfies is that your employer or other influential parties could start requiring them as proof that you voted the way you claim. That would defeat the purpose of secret ballots.

  • Hugh Beaumont
    November 8, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    I wrote in TB against McGovern when I voted last week.

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