WTF

Debbie Does Dementia: Five Senior Citizens Caught Plowing 85 Year Old Woman In Connecticut Park, Golden Girl Gone Wild Says She Dindu Nuffin

 

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This is the most amazing story I’ve ever heard.

Fox 61

Six people ranging in age from 62 to 85 face sex charges after being arrested in a conservation area in Connecticut. Police say the six, five men and an 85-year-old woman, were involved in lewd and sexual activity in the Grace Richardson Conservation Area in Fairfield earlier this month. Police say the area was being publicized on the internet as an area for people to meet and have sex. Police say they set up surveillance in the area and observed several violations. Those arrested face charges ranging from breach of peace to public indecency. They were released on promises to appear in court. Arrested were Daniel Dobbins, 67; Otto D. Williams, 62; Charles L. Ardito, 75; John Linartz, 62; Richard Butler, 82 and his wife Joyce Butler, 85.

Word on the street is they were filming a porno – Debbie Does Dementia. Or maybe they she thought she was going out for a burger at Five Guys, only to find out that she was there to get drilled by five guys instead.

Just look at these glorious geriatrics.

 

Just the thought of this guy having a functioning porridge gun…..

Gotta love science. We should be celebrating modern medicine that allows this to be humanly possible at this age. I’m not even mad at them, that’s impressive. And Richard Butler sure is a sport for letting these guys eiffel tower his wife in a public park at the age of 85. They’re partying like it’s 1899 baby! Golden Girls gone wild!!

According to the cops they knew something was up when they saw a bunch of condom wrappers at the park and set up surveillance. That’s the only part that upsets me – if you’re this old then why the hell are you wearing Jimmy hats? She worried about getting pregnant? I gotta assume the best part about old people sex is the lack of consequences.

But in a twist Dick and Joyce Butler are saying they dindu nuffin….

An octogenarian couple — charged in a sex sting at a town park — say they are innocent of any lewd behavior. Joyce Butler, 85, and her husband Richard, 82, were arrested last week on breach of peace charges at the Grace Richardson Conservation Area. Four other people were also charged with breach of peace; two of those had an added charge of public indecency. 

“We were just sitting there and we just got caught in what was going on,” Joyce Butler told TSG. “And they (the police) were perfectly all wrong. There was nothing going on at all.

“We’ve gone there for years. We used to take the children to go find golf balls years ago when they were little.” The 87-acre park is adjacent to a public golf course.

Well, that settles that. They used to take their children golfing at that park before their kids got drafted into World War 2, therefore they couldn’t have possibly turned Nana into an AARP dick cushion.

Gramps was more specific.

“I haven’t had sex in maybe, 10 years. I got no blood flow. I got three doctors that would back me up.

He got no blood flow!! Oh my God, that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read in my life. Can we PLEASE get them on the Live show? We totes believe you Papa Punani Driver. And even if he’s being honest, the fact that he had sex at the age of 72 is equally as impressive.

My question is, did the cops actually see penetration? Without that it seems like this one’s gonna be tough to prove, so I’m team free muh boi on this one until I see that.

P.S. If this is against the law then how come the Ashland State Park Porridge Pumper wasn’t arrested for getting plowed on a picnic table in a video that was uploaded to Pornhub?

 

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51 Comment(s)
  • Mazikeen69
    August 30, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    quick question her hubby waz there too doing it or watching?
    we all need loving,TLC

  • John Galt
    August 25, 2019 at 9:50 am

    Asked her hubby what 85 yo pussy tastes like and he said ‘Depends…”

  • Don Jeremy
    August 24, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    Like putting a marshmallow in a parking meter

  • JizzMasterZero
    August 24, 2019 at 9:02 am

    Rumor has it that Viagra sales spiked in CT in the preceding days.

  • SJW’S EVIL TWIN
    August 24, 2019 at 8:33 am

    All kidding aside, STDs don’t care how old you are. No excuse for ignorance; do some research on the increased rate of STDs among the senior population. No glove, no love!

  • Kenny Powers
    August 24, 2019 at 8:29 am

    Gang bang at the old folks home.

    • jude
      August 24, 2019 at 9:00 am

      Must smell amazing.

    • Mazikeen69
      August 30, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      so true im guessing she cant get pregnant shes 85 you 100% rigth

  • Richyrich
    August 24, 2019 at 6:41 am

    Please tell me it was Candy Samples.

  • Parsing Clinton
    August 24, 2019 at 2:21 am

    boys will be boys…

  • TrollAlert
    August 24, 2019 at 1:54 am

    I’m guessing that this is a gay cruising spot & the woman was innocently caught up in this. Her husband probably parked there & went into the woods to meet up with these other trolls & the police came & busted all of them. The poor dear probably had no idea her husband was in the woods sucking dick while she was hanging out looking at the birds.

  • megamortus
    August 23, 2019 at 11:03 pm

    I heard she has an original tramp stamp done by Cranach the Elder of Saxony.

  • Sal O’Mal
    August 23, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    Not all heroines wear capes.

  • Mike Litoris
    August 23, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    I bet she gives a mean gummer.

  • Not really
    August 23, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    85 is the new 45. Some 85 yo’s are smoking hot.

  • eugene
    August 23, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    If your 85 and doing five dudes you should get a medal,a key to the city and a parade.Holy crap she is awesome.

  • Liawatha
    August 23, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    Where exactly is the Grace Richardson Conservation Area? How long of a ride is that from Cambridge?

    • Batman
      August 23, 2019 at 10:02 pm

      It took me minute. Hilarious comment. Many thumbs up.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 23, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Im just concerned for the economy. After these arrests the sales of Viagra plummeted which will definitely affect the big pharma crooks. Did granny cut out a glory hole in her Depends? Was she taking three at a time? Ill bet if one of these old dudes were to reach orgasm, dust would ‘cum’ out. Looks like I picked the wrong night to not drink….fuuuuudddddggggge!

  • Frank Rizzo
    August 23, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    By the way I wanna see the mugshot of the old bat, feel like punchin da clown on a friday nite. PARTY TIME!

  • Frank Rizzo
    August 23, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    I’m a senior citizen and my plumbing still works, I don’t see what you think is so funny, especially you fukkin millennials. Frank “RIGID” Rizzo

  • Mark Durham
    August 23, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Lol Now that’s what I call “DRIVING MISS DAISY” lmfao.

  • vinny
    August 23, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    Arrested they should receive a commendation

  • Hate Dindus
    August 23, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    LOL dindu ape porch monkey slut! Why did these goes wanna get down with the brown anyway?

  • Ticks
    August 23, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    They better check themselves for ticks. This is no joke. Lyme disease sucks. (rolls eyes)

  • whatevuh
    August 23, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    My first thought was, why didn’t they just go to their house where they would be safe and not get caught? Old people, gotta love ’em

  • Finn
    August 23, 2019 at 5:48 pm

    The last time I pulled my pants down in front of an old lady my Grandmother said “Phinneous it’s 2019 I do wish you would get a job and move out on your own, maybe meet a girl”.

    Fuck you,
    Finn

  • Captain Trips
    August 23, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    Amazing that anyone at all was arrested here.

    Let’s not go after Hadassah for code violations, fire hazards, and general ratchetry; let’s bust some old folks for still enjoying the old ‘in out’

    Like she’s going to get pregnant and have a kid on welfare. unlike the slobs we read about here every day

    What a fucked up legal system…..

  • Dick Scratcher
    August 23, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    I just had to take time out for a holiday Limerick of the Day for this story…..

    A confused, old dear from Holyoke,
    Offered five aging men a good poke,
    They pulled off her pants
    Fucked her into a trance
    Then shat in her shoe for a joke….

    Dick Scratcher, aged 81 and still willing

    • Captain Trips
      August 23, 2019 at 5:36 pm

      Thanks DS – relax and enjoy!

    • megamortus
      August 23, 2019 at 10:59 pm

      Amazing! The last line killed me!

    • Hugh Mungous
      August 23, 2019 at 11:17 pm

      Holy Shiite, that was fucking brilliant . Thanks for the laugh mate

  • Bob kraft
    August 23, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    Oh 85 I thought I heard 8 year old. What am I gonna do without Epstein?

  • z
    August 23, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Where’s the pics of the lady? Do they show her tits and grey haired cunt?

  • Keystone Cops
    August 23, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    This would make sense in Boston. Rachel Rollins has prevented cops from enforcing laws against pretty much everything but this. Ambitious cops looking to move up the ranks have to do something to make an arrest that will stick (no pun intended).

    But Fairfield, CT? That was once an affluent town. A methadone mile in Fairfield. Connecticut must be in worse shape than reported.

  • Dats Why You Wear A Jimmy Hat
    August 23, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Turtleboy should do some research. The STD rate in the elderly is out of control thsnks to Boomers. Nursing home sex is prevalent in most nursing homes and the CDC says elderly STD infections are increasing.

  • Time To Take The Trash Out
    August 23, 2019 at 4:36 pm

    Our country is being invaded and we are worried about an 85 year old who still gets wet years after menopause.
    The DOJ just published numbers that showed that NONCITIZENS ACCOUNTED FOR 64% of All FEDERAL ARRESTS.

    THATS 64%.
    8% of Federal arrests of non citizens in 2018 were for immigration offenses.

    Trump is right. They are not bringing their best. They are criminals and they are not assimilating.

    Everday our country is being taken over by Third World TRASH.

  • George Burns
    August 23, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    …Like playing pool with a piece of rope

    • Captain Trips
      August 23, 2019 at 5:35 pm

      HA HA! Good one!!!

  • John Dice
    August 23, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Otto looks a little…jaundiced.

  • F*U
    August 23, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    Elder- porn is haut. ……….do the elderly. But they do love posting things to their “wall” with thumbtacks.

  • Bravo!
    August 23, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    Meh. Victimless “crime”.

    Good for them.

    I hope I’m having fun at that age.

  • Captain Trips
    August 23, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Ah North Shore you’re killing me!

    “They’re partying like it’s 1899 baby! Golden Girls gone wild!!”

    Thanks for giving me a good laugh today!

    • Lipstick Hippie
      August 23, 2019 at 10:52 pm

      “AARP dick cushion” made me LOL.

  • Betty White
    August 23, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Hey how come I wasnt invited ?

  • Dust that Thing Iff
    August 23, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    This is very funny. Imagine all the dust coming from those genitalia. Must have looked like a sand storm

    • Y
      August 23, 2019 at 4:56 pm

      You ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese?

    • Berkshire girl
      August 23, 2019 at 7:50 pm

      I for one am relieved to not have been within a quarter mile radius. The musty aroma.

  • z
    August 23, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    No photos of the couple who put the party on?
    The husband is the pimp, the wife is the whore, but let’s just release photos of the the Johns.

    What I want to know, does Joyce have a tramp stamp and does she have tats above each nipple that say hot and cold?

    Also, does Joyce take it up the ass? Askin’ for a friend.

    • Matt Lawrence
      August 23, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      I dont know if she takes it up the ass but I sure do big boy.
      Lets meet in CT

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