This is the most amazing story I’ve ever heard.
Six people ranging in age from 62 to 85 face sex charges after being arrested in a conservation area in Connecticut. Police say the six, five men and an 85-year-old woman, were involved in lewd and sexual activity in the Grace Richardson Conservation Area in Fairfield earlier this month. Police say the area was being publicized on the internet as an area for people to meet and have sex. Police say they set up surveillance in the area and observed several violations. Those arrested face charges ranging from breach of peace to public indecency. They were released on promises to appear in court. Arrested were Daniel Dobbins, 67; Otto D. Williams, 62; Charles L. Ardito, 75; John Linartz, 62; Richard Butler, 82 and his wife Joyce Butler, 85.
Word on the street is they were filming a porno – Debbie Does Dementia. Or maybe they she thought she was going out for a burger at Five Guys, only to find out that she was there to get drilled by five guys instead.
Just look at these glorious geriatrics.
Just the thought of this guy having a functioning porridge gun…..
Gotta love science. We should be celebrating modern medicine that allows this to be humanly possible at this age. I’m not even mad at them, that’s impressive. And Richard Butler sure is a sport for letting these guys eiffel tower his wife in a public park at the age of 85. They’re partying like it’s 1899 baby! Golden Girls gone wild!!
According to the cops they knew something was up when they saw a bunch of condom wrappers at the park and set up surveillance. That’s the only part that upsets me – if you’re this old then why the hell are you wearing Jimmy hats? She worried about getting pregnant? I gotta assume the best part about old people sex is the lack of consequences.
But in a twist Dick and Joyce Butler are saying they dindu nuffin….
An octogenarian couple — charged in a sex sting at a town park — say they are innocent of any lewd behavior. Joyce Butler, 85, and her husband Richard, 82, were arrested last week on breach of peace charges at the Grace Richardson Conservation Area. Four other people were also charged with breach of peace; two of those had an added charge of public indecency.
“We were just sitting there and we just got caught in what was going on,” Joyce Butler told TSG. “And they (the police) were perfectly all wrong. There was nothing going on at all.
“We’ve gone there for years. We used to take the children to go find golf balls years ago when they were little.” The 87-acre park is adjacent to a public golf course.
Well, that settles that. They used to take their children golfing at that park before their kids got drafted into World War 2, therefore they couldn’t have possibly turned Nana into an AARP dick cushion.
Gramps was more specific.
“I haven’t had sex in maybe, 10 years. I got no blood flow. I got three doctors that would back me up.
He got no blood flow!! Oh my God, that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read in my life. Can we PLEASE get them on the Live show? We totes believe you Papa Punani Driver. And even if he’s being honest, the fact that he had sex at the age of 72 is equally as impressive.
My question is, did the cops actually see penetration? Without that it seems like this one’s gonna be tough to prove, so I’m team free muh boi on this one until I see that.
P.S. If this is against the law then how come the Ashland State Park Porridge Pumper wasn’t arrested for getting plowed on a picnic table in a video that was uploaded to Pornhub?
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: