WTF

Diane Kelly Finally Messaged Me Back, Says She’s Suing Me Possibly For Fucking Someone In The Ass

 

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Ever since SSTG published her blogs on the litter box fire that was the PURR Cat Cafe over two years ago, I’ve been trying my damndest to get Diane Kelly on the Live show. I’ve tried enticing her with free Franzia and made it clear that she can tell her side of the story, because I’m sure it’s a good one. But alas, she has not returned any of my messages.

Until last night. Sadly, she will not be coming on the show, but she is vowing deformation lawsuits (who isn’t?)

As you can see, she is in rare form and knows how to Google. She’s also writing a book, which will consist of her republishing our content about her. Checkmate Turtleboy.

 

The most remarkable part of this story continues to be how this woman was ever allowed to open a cat cafe in the first place, and how in God’s name they survived for two years without any major incidents (besides that one time the cops got called there because Diane was passed out on the bathroom floor during the middle of the day).

She also says that Kiss 108 is doing a story on here too.

 

Oh, and it sounds like she’s starting a new cat cafe called PURRFECT CLAW, and is getting married to a woman named Jackson.

Weird, because we all know about how Diane Kelly feels about scissoring.

I’m so mad at myself for not using “typical lesbian trying to have an opinion” as a comeback in that message.

I don’t know why she’s all of a sudden obsessed with Turtleboy now, but she’s clearly got Turtle on the mind a lot lately.

Hope she doesn’t sue. We have no deformation Kathleen!

 

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39 Comment(s)
  • Cheesemo
    December 4, 2019 at 11:10 am

    I’d like to go down on her

  • Yep.
    December 4, 2019 at 1:25 am

    I’d fuck ‘er in the bum.
    Mature stuff is ok with me.
    She can keep the boots on, I like that.
    She can even make cat noises, I don’t mind.

  • ChipChipperson
    December 3, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    Purr purr meow! Tonight our hoo-mon got shitfaced drunk again! She passed out in our litter box and made us SAD 🙁

  • Local real local
    December 3, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Does she have family to tell her to stop using FB?

  • Lee Ho
    December 3, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    She is trying to pussy whip the turtle.

  • Judge dread
    December 3, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    The judge is going to break this down

    1) All she had to do was take her retirement and do that fucking retire.
    2) she decides to fuck up number 1 by opening a fucking cat cafe that left her so bored she just blacks out on the basement floor.
    3) blame uncle for her failures, despite being put in the metaphysical stocks in the town square for what a lunatic she is.
    4) she goes deep in to 6-8 liters of boxed wine. Hints nothing will change when she wakes up.

    The judge’s advice: try to be less crazy and shack up with someone from state street bank or the like so you won’t have to worry about being old and homeless.

  • juror seven esq.
    December 3, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    The Purrfect Claw, is this a new sea food establishment?

  • J Norton
    December 3, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    TB
    You should let this one go I know her family
    It’s a sad story she’s been hospitalized numerous times for depression and substance abuse
    If she comes on live she’ll embarrass herselg

    • I Speak for the Silent Majority
      December 3, 2019 at 7:15 pm

      He shouldn’t leave her alone because she’s nuts – he should leave her alone because this shit is boring. It was boring before and is more boring now.

      Something tells me TB is hurting for $$.
      Has been writing his own blogs much more than usual (not a bad thing).
      Can’t afford to pay others to write blogs for him (not that anyone misses SSTG).
      Reprising an incredibly boring (but must have been profitable) storyline from a year ago.
      Starting this new storyline about the fake medic (good).
      The lawsuits are taking their toll (the broad running the boarding house illegally in Milford story dropped off a cliff; the yoga gold digger stories (understandably) stopped, the nut job in RI with her cuck husband Metro story, etc).

      You should have stuck with what got you here. Government & other public corruption, fake non-profits, fraud journalists, etc. Those people can’t sue (successfully) because they’re in the public eye. Get rid of the clickbait Facebook drama BS & harassing mentally ill chicks and get back to investigating things that matter.

    • ChipChipperson
      December 3, 2019 at 9:21 pm

      What’s that dude, your phone crapped out

  • White girl occasionally wasted
    December 3, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    The world needs more happy drunks. What happened to the concept of being a functioning alcoholic? Perhaps Franzia doesn’t have the “please drink responsibly” label.
    Cheers!

  • Saw Diane On Catnip Mile
    December 3, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    I think Diane was hitting the catnip pretty hard

  • Dr. Fill
    December 3, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    That text exchange was like reading two 5th graders with Down Syndrome arguing over a crayon.

  • Liawatha
    December 3, 2019 at 12:40 pm

    I laud Diane for standing up to the Turtleboy. Good luck in your new marriage to Jackson. I’m sure ze is gorgeous!

    • DudeRanchStripClub
      December 3, 2019 at 3:14 pm

      She is as beautiful and brave as she is strong for poking the turtle.

  • Bill Clinton
    December 3, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    Haven’t had any good pussy in a while where is this place?

  • AJ Alphonse
    December 3, 2019 at 11:51 am

    If she keeps acting like this, she’s gonna be drinking pruno.

  • BR24
    December 3, 2019 at 11:32 am

    I love how she goes on and on about spelling and grammar and the goes on to obliterate the english language and make multiple grammatical errors.

    • BR24
      December 3, 2019 at 11:34 am

      then* always proofread

  • ncfoothillbilly
    December 3, 2019 at 11:28 am

    If youre going to be an ass, dont do it half-ass, dont be an ass-fraction, be an asswhole. Ill bet her house has a lovely aroma of rich Corinthian leather and mahogany wood panels…haha we know it reeks of cat piss and soiled linens. I hope your hangover isnt too harsh today, crazy cat lady who cannot spell.

    • Captain Trips
      December 3, 2019 at 11:42 am

      Probably woke up dehydrated with a pounding headache and no idea that she even wrote any of this

    • Ricardo Montalban
      December 3, 2019 at 11:44 am

      Only the finest leather, my friend.

  • Lee Ho
    December 3, 2019 at 11:01 am

    Asshole or asswhole, as she spells it?

    • Ho Li Phuk
      December 3, 2019 at 12:46 pm

      We say, Ah so! Right Lee?

      • Lee Ho
        December 3, 2019 at 2:26 pm

        Ho Li Phuk you’re right again.

  • Maggie the Cat
    December 3, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Perhaps you can tell from my screen name that I am a cat person. I love cats, and I wouldn’t let this woman near my cats for all the money on earth. On another subject, what is Franzia?

    • Lee Ho
      December 3, 2019 at 11:07 am

      Franzia is a boxed wine.

      • Ho Li Phuk
        December 3, 2019 at 12:48 pm

        Aged in fine plastic bag for 3 month, right Lee?

  • English Major
    December 3, 2019 at 10:45 am

    For someone who beat slameless to death; I counted many more spelling errors in her ramblings. Turtle On Riders.

    • ElJefe72
      December 3, 2019 at 10:50 am

      Actually, she misspelled shameless first (as slameless). Turtleboy was making fun of her, but of course she didn’t recognize that and thought he misspelled it. I’m guessing she was drunk when she was writing those posts.

  • KY "Lew" Breekunt
    December 3, 2019 at 10:39 am

    She sure has a fixation on girls getting ass-fucked. Do you have her number?

  • ElJefe72
    December 3, 2019 at 10:32 am

    I’m guessing that Jackson is a cat.

    • Jackson Ze Canine
      December 3, 2019 at 6:03 pm

      Please don’t assume my species.
      I am biologically feline but identify as a dog.

  • Captain Trips
    December 3, 2019 at 10:22 am

    “Diane, Are you hitting the Franzia again tonight?”

    Pure gold. And probably 100% accurate as well.

  • Norbit
    December 3, 2019 at 10:21 am

    There are lots of spelling errors, but she didn’t figure that out on her own. On everything else, Unkle has her dead to rights!

  • Meow Mix
    December 3, 2019 at 10:20 am

    She’s missing the spotlight, and using a TB attack to get some limelight back…

  • billy galvin
    December 3, 2019 at 10:19 am

    a slameless slut!

  • Klancy
    December 3, 2019 at 10:06 am

    It’s a shame McLean let’s everyone have access to the internet. Now a state hospital wouldn’t do that.

    • Bare Bonez
      December 3, 2019 at 11:16 am

      State hospitals as well. It’s considered a basic human right. Food, water, shelter, internet. The rest is on you.

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