Hoodrat Heroes

Boston Police Find Purr Cat Cafe Lushbeast Owner Dianne Kelly Drunk Lying On Floor After Drinking Gallon Of Wine And Cat Medicine With Possible Dead And Missing Cats

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We write about a lot of nutjobs here at Turtleboy Sports, but Dianne Kelly, the owner of Boston’s infamous PURR Cat Cafe, is arguably the most insane of them all. I don’t have time to go over everything, so if you haven’t read our four part series on the madness that has transpired in Brighton, feel free to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

(Kathleen is on the right)

The gist of it is this:

  • Crazy lady who doesn’t really seem to care about cats and has no business acumen opens a cat cafe in Brighton
  • Conditions that are unlivable for the cats in the basement and she does almost nothing to fix it
  • Rescue organizations refuse to donate cats to her “non profit” because of this
  • Dianne publicly defames the rescue organization
  • Dianne never pays several “employees” and slut shames her former manager Kathleen over and over and over again for her lifestyle
  • She had no cats Kathleen! So she posted pictures of kittens from Arizona on Facebook and pretended she did
  • Dianne posts on the PURR Cat Cafe business page, pretending to speak for the cats, and passive-aggressively calls out all the haters
  • Occasionally a sane person takes over the page and attempts to rebuild all the good will that Dianne has destroyed during her drunken trips to the keyboard
  • Dianne attempts to show that the business is legit by allowing people to live stream an open house, but it goes terribly when conditions are revealed to be deplorable
  • Dianne partners with an openly anti-semitic man who messages anyone badmouthing the cafe privately and says mean things to them
  • The opening date kept getting pushed back further and further and further, and those who had donated to her fundraiser never got their money back
  • Meow. Meow. Purr.

Well they ended up opening and got some good press from Boston Magazine in late November, right around the time we lost our Facebook page:

But as usual, anyone who called her out on her bullshit was blocked. Look at any post on the PURR Cat Cafe Facebook page. Each one appears to have many comments:

But when you click on the comments:

Nothing there. AKA she deleted them all.

Don’t worry though, she’s still selling merch:

Anyway, we hadn’t heard from the self described “crazy Hooman” for a while. Then someone sent us a screenshot from the Boston Police logs on March 13, and it was everything you dreamed it would be and more:


About 6:00 PM on Tuesday 3/13/18, Officers Sobhy and Hynes in the K101F, responded to a radio call for a drunk female inside of the Cat Cafe located at 167 Chestnut Hill Avenue, Brighton. 

Upon arrival the officers were approached by the caller (Ramsey, Pat DOB 4/7/47) who stated she volunteers at the Cat Cafe and when she came into the store today she found the store owner (Kelly, Dianne DOB 3/2/67) on the floor in the bathroom and extremely intoxicated. 

Officers located the victim (Kelly, Dianne DOB 3/2/67) laying down on the floor in the rear exit foyer area. The victim (Kelly) became agitated upon contact with the officers as she was yelling incoherently and unable to keep her balance. The victim (Kelly) was able to state that she “drank a lot today, probably a gallon of wine.” Officers asked when she last stopped drinking to which she replied, “I never stopped.” Officers observed multiple empty bottles of wine on the floor also with an open bottle of Cat Medication (Amprolium). It should be noted the only items located in the exit foyer area were the victim’s purse, bottles of wine, the cat medication, and a broom. The victim refused to answer any questions as to why the cat medication was located next to the bottles of wine. 

The officers were approached by the called (Ramsey) who stated there may “possibly be a dead cat in the area.” The caller stated she believes this due to “a few cats being unaccounted for.” During this time the victim became angry with caller (Ramsey) as she began to cry uncontrollably and scream vulgar language towards the caller and officers. The officers asked the victim if she wanted to hurt herself to which she nodded her head up and down indicating yes. Officers searched the area for any dead or wounded animals to no avail. 

Boston EMS (Ambulance A14) responded to the scene and transported the patient to St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center for an evaluation. The called (Ramsey) informed officers she will remain on scene at the store to take care of the animals and will contact animal control in the morning for further assistance.

We have no cats Kathleen. But we have plenty of Franzia.

Ho-Lee-Shit. She drank a gallon of wine during the middle of the day, and when the cops get there and ask when she stopped drinking her response will go down in the record books:

I never stopped.”

Ratchet. Legend.

Naturally there are missing and possibly dead cats because the owner of this place is passed out on the floor, and may have drank the last of the cat medication.

How in the hell was this place ever allowed to be opened? Poor Pat Ramsey is apparently the new Kathleen and just figured out that she’d gone into a relationship with a sloppy poonstachio. This is reason number 5,439 why people need to read Turtleboy on a daily basis. So you can know which lunatics to avoid going into business with.

32 Comment(s)
  • Sonny's Mom
    March 28, 2018 at 4:32 am

    Is this the last we hear about Diane Kelly? Because, you know, HIPAA confidentially rules…

  • panzer9811
    March 22, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    First and foremost- I give South Shore Turtlegirl HUGE, GIGANTIC credit for completing this novel, and not sucking on a gun barrel before it was completed. WTF? How on earth did you keep up with that delusional freak and her incessant insults/apologies/open houses/closed houses/basement excuses/veterans/food pantry/Arizona cats/slut-shaming/Nazis/wine/coccidian treatment? My head is fucking spinning from reading about this nut-job, forget reporting about her.
    I have worked as a veterinary technician for twenty years. The animal hospital I work for helps several local organizations with the rampant issue of homeless cats and feral cat colonies. We do complete physical exam/vax/test(for aids-leukemia) /spay/neuter/fecal check, etc. roughly 20-25 cats per week. They are then re-released (key-word=FERAL) vaccinated and unable to procreate. This is in addition to the regular patients, (pets) that are treated there. If any of the homeless cats are having health issues, they are admitted and treated. Some may be there for weeks. If they are friendly, they are put into adoption programs by the organization(s). The Dr. who owns the practice does all of this for basically free, or “cost”. Know why? Because he legitimately cares about the animals.
    Two things that occur to me after reading Diane’s saga:
    1) she is about getting attention and accolades. She portrays herself as a “rescuer” of cats, yet apparently has no knowledge of their specific needs. What is with the “isolation room” she mentioned? For “sick” cats? I didn’t see anywhere in the lengthy story about PURR, that Diane is a veterinarian, able to diagnose feline ailments, and make a determination such as quarantine necessity. In fact, in ALL of her postings, rants, whatever……I never saw mention of a veterinarian at all……by anyone, for that matter. Maybe I just missed it….my eyes were getting blurry…read the whole story (all segments) today. 2) Diane is confused and delusional. She has some rather grandiose goals. Cat “rescue” café (apparently with no food or beverage available) BYO? Food pantry, veterans, blah,blah, Christ I’m surprised she didn’t include St. Jude’s, Dana Farber and the Shriners in her fantasy. She keeps clucking about how she has worked for “two years” to put this failure together. Yet, she is hitting people up for money. Business 101-have the capitol to OPEN a business before you try to do so. Begging for money under the ruse of helping cats is bullshit. Diane-seek help. Thank-you SSTG for the work you did outing this disgraceful poser. Very well done.

  • Shandy Gal
    March 19, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    Amprolium is a medication (prescribed by Vets) for Parasitic Infections. If she drank a “whole bottle”, that mean there was enough medication for multiple cats. Why do multiple cats have parasites ? Because the living area is UNCLEAN ! That whole building needs to be bleached, or other cats are going to get sick. The symptoms of this type of parasite is severe diarrhea, vomiting and even death. (So Im guessing there’s a lot to clean)..

    • panzer9811
      March 22, 2018 at 11:29 pm

      You are right. It is typically used to treat coccidia. My questions are……what were the symptoms? Who did the fecal exam? Does Diane have fecalizer and a microscope at PURR? Can she properly read a fecal slide? Is there a scale at PURR to weigh/measure for the appropriate dose? Is Diane just wingin’ it?
      I’m betting the answers are as follows- Who knows? Nobody did. No. No. No. No. and Yes.
      She should just open a bar, and call it ‘Tall Tails’…seems to be more up her alley (cat).

      • Patty Burkhart
        April 5, 2018 at 1:52 am

        It is likely because she is importing dozens of cats from SC, NC, NJ, NY, CT and more. And those cats are likely not being vetted properly — as in — getting de-wormed BEFORE being brought to the cafe and having two fecal tests done on the cats and making sure they are crated before being allowed to share litter boxes. Yes, she has partnered with a “rescue” based out of Long Island (and the rescue is not a shelter or a rescue per se, and has NO building but is a “collection of trappers and rescuers who collect cats up and down the East Coast and bring them to Diane and Boston! LOOK THEM UP. Feline Victory Rescue. They have a website and a FB page and have announced on both that Purr is their partner. Not only is this reckless — it is ILLEGAL! It is so traumatic and stressful for these poor cats but also both Boston and Long Island have cats that need homes and should not be importing cats from NC! Feline Victory Rescue lists dozens of cats on Long Island Craigslist. Clearly, they are collecting a LOT of cats. What is deeply upsetting to me is that Diane brought her own house cats to this cafe and dumped them in the windowless basement and now one of those cats is listed on the Feline Victory Rescue site as up for adoption and can go to “NY, CT, RI, etc….!!!!!! The poor cat is being shipped out anywhere. THIS IS DISGUSTING. AND SICK. And not only is it not rescue, it is the worst kind of business scam EVER.

  • Patrick FitzDonald
    March 17, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    Let’s share a 5 gallon keg of Giacobazi,,, setup a video camera and when we wake up in the morning, just decide to delete it.
    I suppose you’ll wanna watch first tho…

  • Stunt Penis
    March 17, 2018 at 9:45 am

    If anyone had any doubts about this woman’s mental state from reading the previous four installments, this latest should clear up any doubt.

    The fact she admitted she wanted to hurt herself might get her the psychiatric help she clearly needs.

  • Fargin cat lady
    March 17, 2018 at 12:23 am

    Ok, I can understand some of the ladies going to a place like this, at least until the novelty wears off.
    But seriously, what kind of BETACUCK SOYBOY patronizes a hairball factory like this? “Oh, I do enjoy my rented time with Ms. Muffinpaws and Mr. Cuddlewhiskers as I sip my chamomile tea with soy milk and stevia as I color in the lovely coloring books scattered about the table. I swear, it is an
    furry and fun addiction! It helps to make up for my not having a fuzzy wuzzy feline companion of my own in Mom’s basement.”

    • Jennifer
      March 17, 2018 at 6:16 am

      Mr Cuddlewhiskers I am DYING laughing right now !! Your entire comment was HILARIOUS and so disgustingly true. Omg I can hear some whackjob saying this entire insane comment. Scary very very scary!! If this doesn’t shut this cat insane asylum down once and for all I don’t what else would or could. This lady is batshit on her best day and sadly probably while actually sober as well as when COCKED !I’m not a cat person but God bless anything with 4 legs and a tail that comes across this lunatics path hopefully it will able to dial 911 !

  • Nurse Ratched
    March 16, 2018 at 11:10 pm

    So where did she work in healthcare before this debacle..because, quite frankly, she shouldn’t be working with anything that breathes and now that this is toast, she’ll be heading back into her former profession.

  • Bleh
    March 16, 2018 at 7:07 pm


  • TJB
    March 16, 2018 at 3:53 pm

    It’s a cat astrophe. Wine & cat medicine…sounds like a PURR ty bad idea.

  • z
    March 16, 2018 at 2:29 pm

    I’ve got no jokes or snide remarks about her.

    She has mo family to keep her on the straight and narrow?

    She dresses well enough that money doesn’t seem to be an issue.

    I think there’s more than just booze. The booze doesn’t account for all the poor decisions she’s made concerning cats since you started profiling her.

    Could be Dementia, early stages of Alzheimer or just “plain old” mental illness.
    If that’s the case I truly feel sorry for her .

    My old man started falling apart mentally in his mid 70s. He started out being fixated on things we knew weren’t true. You couldn’t dissuade him.

    I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, nor the family and friends of someone with that. A gradual but steady decline for 7-8 years. I’ll off myself if I get in that shape but still have the presence of mind that I’m in that shape.

    • Nurse Ratched
      March 16, 2018 at 11:05 pm

      It’s called Wet Brain…from drinking.

  • 2wEntEe
    March 16, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    Probably eats cat food to

    • meowblaaarrgghh
      March 17, 2018 at 12:47 am

      Between the wine and the cat food, her farts must be a thing of wet and nasty legend.

  • Chick In The Ad With Tombstone Teeth And One Dead Eye
    March 16, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    Grf grubrfm mrfrbgrfh grbrbgrff!

  • nobody@nobody.com
    March 16, 2018 at 1:40 pm

    WOW! Must be a slow news day.

    Person gets drunk at home. Neighbor makes unsubstantiated claim of a dead cat.

    • Paul
      March 16, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      First off, she was at her “business” which is a cat cafe. Did you even read the backstory?

      • Kill Count
        March 16, 2018 at 2:06 pm

        Nah, he/she is probably either a homosexual liberal or someone who got put on blast by Turtleboy. In other words, his/her opinion isn’t worth a pinhole in a pile of shit.

        Suck your dad’s cock, “nobody”, and tell him we said to do it.

  • The GOP
    March 16, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Obviously, this hot mess is one of your mob, moonbats.

  • GraftonHillGirl
    March 16, 2018 at 1:10 pm


  • Real_Finn
    March 16, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    “The officers asked the victim if she wanted to hurt herself to which she nodded her head up and down indicating yes.”

    Yes? [Hands her a knife, loaded gun, rope, bottle of pills] – “Take your choice, Ms. Victim.”.

    Zero tolerance for animal abusers.

    Get Fucked Kathy.

  • KimberlyS
    March 16, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    We have no cats, Kathleen! I killed them and ate them with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    • James
      March 19, 2018 at 10:48 pm

      You’re a tough faggot aren’t you. What a fucking crappy blog, now story about cats, fuck…

  • Diane Woods emerson
    March 16, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    Fucking stupid people! Her and anyone that approved a fucking cat cafe. I still don’t understand it. If you really need to pet a cat go volunteer at a shelter or some place that it will make a difference.

  • Bret
    March 16, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    This is AWESOME!!!
    Brian Albitch won’t comment, he hates pussy….

    • Brian Albrecht
      March 16, 2018 at 1:37 pm

      Fuck off, Bret! I loves me some pussy. SSTG, SUP?

      Bret you fuckin sidewinder, you keep talkin smack and I’m gonna suck your dick and make you look like a total faggot in front of everybody, aight?

  • Uncle Randy
    March 16, 2018 at 12:21 pm

    Fucking cat people, man.

    • James
      March 19, 2018 at 10:49 pm

      You mean like your fat daughter

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