Diesels Chud Who Reported Our FB Page Hired Hackers To Clean Out Our Bank Accounts And Blow Up Our Computers After Desk Girl Made Him Fill Out The Form

Diesels Chud Who Reported Our FB Page Hired Hackers To Clean Out Our Bank Accounts And Blow Up Our Computers After Desk Girl Made Him Fill Out The Form

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The other day we blew up the spot of several members of Diesels of New England who thought it would be funny to mass report our Facebook page for graphic violence. Normally we wouldn’t care, but the fact of the matter is that when you fuck with our Facebook page you fuck with our business. So then you leave us no choice but to fuck with yours. Poking the turtle is never a good idea.

One of the guys we featured was this winner:


And you know by now that if we’re writing a blog on someone we’ve already blogged about, they done fucked up and poked the turtle again.

Well it turns out Shaun Hitchcock is actually a long time turtle rider himself, so you’d think he’d know better. A couple months back he sent us a hot tip about some chick he was messaging in a vain attempt to see if he could pay her to stick a corn in the cob up her ass and eat it:

So obviously he’s a winner.

Then three weeks ago he sent us another story idea about what he believed was the murder of a baby in Westfield:



So basically this guy has no problem when OTHER PEOPLE get shamed, and wanted to use Turtleboy as a weapon. And despite the fact that he’s kissing our ass, begging us to write stories, he still feels the need to report us to Facebook because his racist diesel friends told him to. But the second he ends up on Turtleboy, he all of a sudden has a problem with what we do:

Luckily Desk Girl was there to help him out:

Yes!!! The form!! I love the form!! Looks like Shaun’s not filling it out though and he’s only giving us one hour (even though he sent this to us yesterday).

Looks like SOMEONE changed their mind about the form. They always do.

Nevertheless he persisted with his theories about who owns the blog. Deskie had to remind him that our new owner, “he who shall not be named,”  bought the company six months ago, and he eventually agreed to fill out the form:

He even asked for directions:

After the form was filled out he rambled on about how unfair it was for Turtleboy to label an entire page as racist, even though that’s not what we initially did:


Apparently Shaun couldn’t wait for his complaint form to be processed, so he went ahead with his threat to publish his “blog”:

Pretty sure that’s just a lone man with a couple hundred Facebook friends making up things on his Facebook page that he read on the Internet one time. Clearly this man means business.

Then he upped the ante – he was going to be shutting down all of our bank accounts, and gave us a 10 PM deadline (which has since passed) for us to remove the blog before he called up his friends in Switzerland and commenced operation butthurt:

After this Fiesty and SSTG took over. No more Deskie:

Uh-oh!! He’s sticking “these people” on us. Wait……..hold on a minute………

FUCK!!! My computer just blew up and I had to drive to a remote location and use Mrs. Turtleboy’s!! This guy ain’t fucking around!!

Then he shared the conversation he had with his hacker friends:

Clearly Turtleboy messed with the wrong one this time. We were bound to get caught with our hand in the cookie jar eventually.

Stay tuned folks!! This might be the end of Turtleboy as we know it!! Never in a million years did I think we’d get taken down by this slugrake:

But we clearly underestimated our opponent this time around!! Pray for Turtleboy.



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22 Comment(s)
  • Baron von Douchebag
    May 28, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    The diesel thing is the greatest homo erotic cover story out there, it’s well known that Shaun shared a tent with Maurice Butler at the last DONE gathering in Laconia and the heavy breathing was waking up other guys so they were KICKED out at 3 AM. It is a FACT they were banned from the future meets. The funny thing is Shaun doesn’t even drive a diesel anymore, he bought a used hybrid Camry. These guys all voted for Hillary and chug miles of sausage.

    • Colin Blow
      May 28, 2017 at 7:46 pm

      Yeah, the lowdown in the W.B. is these guys use the diesel trucks to get out into the woods and sticks to recreate the Brokeback Mountain stuff. This is LONG known about these guys and personally, I’ve got no problem with gay people but these jokers try to hide their homosexuality underneath this veneer of Confederate and diesel dumbassery, Fox apparel and dildo-ey neck tattoos. A couple of them were busted last month out at the Ludlow rest area with their pance down at their ankles back in March. Nothing new around here, this is just the same old antics from some closet cases.

      • The Real Story!!!
        May 29, 2017 at 11:45 am

        Oh, so the real story starts to “cum” out. Thanks Colin!

        This guy (perv) wasn’t so much interested in having his name and face taken down from the blog due to his arrest on wiretapping!!! (after all, he got probation for three months – keep out of trouble, and you’re fine!!!) Who the fuck cares??? In fact, you would probably be highly regarded (amongst your cop-hating brethren) because you recorded a cop!!!


        This guy wanted his name off of the blog because it associates him with a bunch of ass-fuckers and cock-gobblers!!! That would explain why he lists himself as “single” on his FB page!!!

        This guy needs more investigation!

  • Grow the fk up
    May 28, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    His mother should of swallowed or taken it up the ass, the night he was conceived.

  • Gilfoyle
    May 28, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Dude, if he gets your UP address ur fucked… wow this guy

  • simple
    May 28, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    24 but has a mind of a teenager, dangerous too.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    May 28, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    I am confused , if he has the power to do all that shit why cant he just have them wipe his foot print off the site? Wouldnt tht be easier than an all out war? And let’s not forget who won between the turtle and the hare.

  • Herb Pease
    May 28, 2017 at 11:05 am

    The population of W Brookfield, where this douche originated from, is about 3200. There are about 5000 turkeys in the town, you see them on virtually every street, all times of the day. Looks like the flock is missing one.

    • Lynda Lapine
      Lynda L.
      May 28, 2017 at 12:03 pm

      Aw, you don’t like W. Brookfield? Pity. It’s such a lovely town.

  • Agent Smith
    May 28, 2017 at 8:39 am

    This guy is a degenerate piece of shit. He’s in my neck of the woods too. If I see him on the street, he’ll be spitting bloody chiclets

  • Baby Hitchcock
    May 28, 2017 at 7:55 am


    Why did you ask that nice lady if she wanted a buttered ear of corn shoved up her boom-boom?

    Also daddy, did you expect her to bend over to eat the ear of corn?

  • Wondering
    May 28, 2017 at 7:44 am

    What does he have on his hands in that picture?

    Must be one of two things:

    1) It’s shit. The outhouse ran out of TP, and there was no copy of the Farmer’s Alamanac hanging up, or….

    2) It’s blood, and the body is in a shallow grave out in the woods.

  • Wondering
    May 28, 2017 at 7:34 am

    In his FB profile he lists himself as single. In his pictures (on FB) he has a little kid. On this particular page, he actually mentions that he has a kid. I originally thought that maybe it was a niece/nephew of his.

    YIKES!!! How did this guy EVER impregnate a woman with his tiny needledick? He rants and rants because he just doesn’t measure up! Must give his tiny ego a tiny stroke!

    Where is the mom of his child in all this? Oh! I know………..

    He did his sister!

  • ElJefe72
    Shaun Hitchcock
    May 28, 2017 at 7:24 am

    I’m serious!!!! I’m going to do it this time!!!!

  • whatevuh
    May 28, 2017 at 5:54 am

    Shit, my checking account just got overdrawn !! He wasn’t kidding. Oh wait, that was the new snorkle for my jeep I bought yesterday, my bad

  • Lynda Lapine
    Lynda L.
    May 28, 2017 at 3:21 am

    Abi scores again! He’s a regular rider and doesn’t know who Desk Girl is by now? The bad grammar was one thing but this is unforgivable. πŸ˜‰

    • For Real
      May 30, 2017 at 4:53 am

      Shut the fuck up Lynda.

      • Lynda Lapine
        Lynda L.
        June 2, 2017 at 2:44 am

        For Real, no, I don’t think I will. πŸ™‚

  • Phoebe Mathews
    May 28, 2017 at 3:03 am

    I am turtlegirl. I am a backstabbing cunt. I attack social justice warriors.

    My name is Phoebe Mathews

    • Mystressovmayhem
      May 28, 2017 at 9:04 am

      Lol so you call her a “back stabbing cunt”, while essentially stabbing her in the back? Seems legit. Or was that projection?
      Oh and Social Justice Whiners bring it upon themselves. They deserve no sympathy, no exceptions.

      If there is a Pheobe you go girl! Don’t you love how SJW bitches can dish it but not take it? Pussies.

  • Mystressovmayhem
    May 28, 2017 at 12:17 am

    Ladies you crack me up! Seriously! Women after my own heart!
    Questions though, he says he’s worried that people are looking at pictures of his kids. Yet goes right on to threaten publishing yours. What kind of a rancid cock breath shitbag threatens kids? Is it Turtleboy’s problem he doesn’t know what a private profile is?
    Second question. What the hell kinda hacker he got, that can barely write English? Unless he doubles as one of the crackheads getting ready to kick in your door? That must be cool employing a crackhead. In fact cheaper than hiring an illegal. “I’ll give you a $20 rock every four hours!” Illegals ask for 6 bucks hourly generally!
    Lol well all I can say is “Goodluck ladies/Turtleboy. You’ll be missed!” Pardon me I have tears of laughter to wipe from my cheeks!

  • Mongo Shepard
    May 28, 2017 at 12:06 am

    Shaun Hitchcock is a hillbilly mongoloid. He’ll be dead by way of self-inflicted ATV accident within a year. FUCK this guy.

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