Hoodrat Heroes

Dignified Black Jesus Wasn’t Having None Of This Springfield Ratchet Eclair Who Called Him Racial Slurs In Epic Gravy Dumpster Pajama Meltdown

Follow @LongLiveTBS on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.


Meanwhile in Springfield…..

And in case Facebook takes it down….

That is one dignified, disciplined, and dare I say sexy black man right there:

Buckingham Palace needs to hire that guy. It’s not easy to keep your composure like that when you’ve got a Devil’s Mood Cake getting up in your grill while shouting, “You was ignorant!! Acting like a fucking n word!!!”

Honey, you’re the one shouting at him in your Newport dialect of the English language. Meanwhile he’s standing there refusing to be aggressive back to you. If that’s what “acting like a n word” is, then I don’t wanna know what you’re acting like. But it’s probably a racial slur so offensive they won’t say it in rap music.

And if you think that guy got it bad, imagine what she says to her dietician. Just get back in your 98 Camry you ratchet eclair. Da fuq you care what he did to your car anyway? You know damn well your car ain’t registered.

She had backup too. And of course it’s the middle of the day and this swamp donkey is walking around downtown in her pajamas, with her fupa farm on full display….


Meanwhile this chick’s dressed up like she’s going to Planet Fitness….

These people buy gym ware and then they only end up wearing them to Chick Fil-A. The most exercise she’s gotten in the last 10 years was a C-section.

Turns out there was more to this story, and the guy in the video showed up in the comments…

Oh snap, he’s black Jesus. And he’s here to fix your credit. Too bad skankzilla probably burned that bridge, because you know damn well her credit score is lower than her BMI.

Shockingly it turns out this was her fault. In the process of nearly running him over while on the way to grab her SSI check, she made contact with his Umbrella, which obviously was his fault and necessitated that verbal beatdown.

Meanwhile she got tagged in it too:

Oh yea, we have a match:

And from the looks of her Facebook page she’s the mother of three raw dog trophies.

As you can see from her attire….

She’s either a CNA or dressing like one for the holidays. Either way, black Jesus got her “all the way fucked up,” and she don’t play. Meanwhile he’ll be praying for her and making a shitload of money, because if you’re into fixing people’s credit, Springfield is a gold mine.

14 Comment(s)
  • Amy
    October 13, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    Most exercise she got was a c section … that was hilarious 

  • Warthog
    October 13, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    In The picture of her wearing the nursing scrubs.. look at the size of the wart on her forehead. That shit is huge!!

  • ElJefe72
    October 13, 2018 at 11:03 am

    Holy crap! What’s that tattoo on her shoulder?!?  Looks like an obese Mickey Mouse. 

  • Looks Like allah
    October 12, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    Dont ever call Jesus black.

  • pastor scott
    October 12, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    She should really not be actin’ a foo with a Expired-non renewable registration. One way ticket to da pound

    • WhatHappenedToMyCountry
      October 12, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      If you are a white male tax paying cotizen then yes.
      Otherwise rules and laws dont apply to hispanicILLEGALS

  • But honestly
    October 12, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Who here actually believes that her car his his umbrella and not the other way around? She was probably driving aggressively and he checked her.

    Is there something in the Bible that describes welching on debt?

  • Fat Smelly and Disgusting
    October 12, 2018 at 5:54 pm

    There is more to this story.
    Hoodrat sources say that he reached into her McDonalds bag and took a frenchfry.
    And this obvious emaciated hoodrat chimped out because “she” spent goot EBT money on dat Mickey Ds yo.
    Notice he didnt say girl you look fine wont you back dat azz up

  • yawn
    October 12, 2018 at 5:32 pm

    Not news worthy, this isn’t worthy of a blog.

  • Judge dread
    October 12, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    The dude is mad chill, but 1997 called and want that double breasted suit back.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    He Hit Her Car
    October 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    He Hit Her Car!

    • Y
      October 12, 2018 at 4:26 pm

      It’s a ’96, let it go, hun

    • mopey63
      October 12, 2018 at 5:16 pm

      No he did not hit her car Shaniqua, you hit him with your old ass car. Because we all know it’s you writing that comment. da fuq outta here wit ya bad ass pajamas

      • Fred Knessl
        October 12, 2018 at 8:34 pm

        What are you griping about, Shaniqua? That bit of alteration increased the value of your car by $75! Damn near doubled it

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It