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It’s food stamp Friday y’all, and we have a special treat for you today out of Springfield…..

Yes, that’s right – this glorious thing right here attempted to purchase sex from a Springfield hooker with his food stamps:

Must’ve thought they were fupa stamps.

Because, why wouldn’t a 38 year old able bodied crackhead be receiving government assistance? Does this look like the kind of person who can’t be trusted to spend his food stamps on actual food?

That is the greatest mugshot I’ve ever seen.

You know it wasn’t his first time either. This mother fucker came prepared. He knew the Dwight Street hookers took that shit. If you swipe your EBT card right down Princeza’s ass it’s good for 15 minutes of gland to gland combat.

I’m glad they’re shaming the John’s, because usually they just get the hookers. That’s low hanging fruit in my opinion. Then again, if you’ve reached the point in your sex life that you’re willing to pay money to stick your porridge gun inside some doped up hooker’s chlamydia chasm then you likely have reached rock bottom too. Nevertheless I love a good hooker bust mgushot roundup. This guy’s like, “Yo, I’m a be back tomorrow anyway”:

This guy’s like, “Oh well, sure beats jacking off into a tube sock again”:

This guy’s like, “But my Mom just took me for a haricut today”

This dudes like, “I’m a have to kill a different hooker now”:

This guy’s thinking, “So…..does this mean I’m not getting laid?”

This guy’s thinking, “I snuck over the border for this?”

This guy’s like, “I’m gonna have to put in a lot of hours at the Qwik-E-Mart to pay for this one”:

This guy’s like “Yo, I shampooed for that bitch too!!”

This guy’s like, “Same time tomorrow”:

This guy’s thinking, “Hopefully they don’t know about the other bodies”:

And finally this guy’s like, “What’s your policy on masturbation in lockup?”

Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me how many able bodied men are on food stamps. Thought that shit was just for single mothers going through a hard time? Turns out they’ll pretty much give it to anyone, even if it’s blatantly obvious that he’s gonna sell half his stamps and use the other half for a syphilis sandwich.