Hoodrat Heroes

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Attempted To Use Food Stamps To Purchase A Springfield Syphilis Sandwich During A Hooker Bust?

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It’s food stamp Friday y’all, and we have a special treat for you today out of Springfield…..


Yes, that’s right – this glorious thing right here attempted to purchase sex from a Springfield hooker with his food stamps:

Must’ve thought they were fupa stamps.

Because, why wouldn’t a 38 year old able bodied crackhead be receiving government assistance? Does this look like the kind of person who can’t be trusted to spend his food stamps on actual food?

That is the greatest mugshot I’ve ever seen.

You know it wasn’t his first time either. This mother fucker came prepared. He knew the Dwight Street hookers took that shit. If you swipe your EBT card right down Princeza’s ass it’s good for 15 minutes of gland to gland combat.

I’m glad they’re shaming the John’s, because usually they just get the hookers. That’s low hanging fruit in my opinion. Then again, if you’ve reached the point in your sex life that you’re willing to pay money to stick your porridge gun inside some doped up hooker’s chlamydia chasm then you likely have reached rock bottom too. Nevertheless I love a good hooker bust mgushot roundup. This guy’s like, “Yo, I’m a be back tomorrow anyway”:

This guy’s like, “Oh well, sure beats jacking off into a tube sock again”:

This guy’s like, “But my Mom just took me for a haricut today”

This dudes like, “I’m a have to kill a different hooker now”:

This guy’s thinking, “So…..does this mean I’m not getting laid?”

This guy’s thinking, “I snuck over the border for this?”

This guy’s like, “I’m gonna have to put in a lot of hours at the Qwik-E-Mart to pay for this one”:

This guy’s like “Yo, I shampooed for that bitch too!!”

This guy’s like, “Same time tomorrow”:

This guy’s thinking, “Hopefully they don’t know about the other bodies”:

And finally this guy’s like, “What’s your policy on masturbation in lockup?”

Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me how many able bodied men are on food stamps. Thought that shit was just for single mothers going through a hard time? Turns out they’ll pretty much give it to anyone, even if it’s blatantly obvious that he’s gonna sell half his stamps and use the other half for a syphilis sandwich.

11 Comment(s)
  • Navy Guy
    October 1, 2018 at 9:26 am

    Great wisecracks on the mug shots. Bravo Zulu.

  • Captain Trips
    September 29, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    I expected to see Schneider from ‘One Day at A Time’ in the mugshots

  • Mom’s Basement
    September 29, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    I don’t think that these guys can be shamed. On the other hand if the cops were using a decoy then being offered food stamps must count as one her lowest moments even if she was just playing the part. 

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 29, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    “Sexual conduct for a fee”
    That means EVERY man should be arrested. Dinner, movies, wine tastings, brewery tours, museum visits, etc, etc, etc. These dudes just took a shortcut.

  • White Power
    September 28, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    Nuck Figgers.

  • Gutter Muppet Honey
    September 28, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    Favorite post in a while. Thank you for making my night.

  • Dr. Phil
    September 28, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Anyone with a pencil thin moustache is destined to end up busted in a prostitution sting or with their name on the sex offender registry.

  • hahhaha too funny
    September 28, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Hahhaha omg, Manch, you crack me up!!! The one you wrote about ” I shampooed for this?” thing looks like Gupta Patel, is that you Gupta?? jk, Just asking, am I the only one that thinks that Spanish men and Chinese men have little dicks?? (which is why they are always the ones caught with hookers) 😉

  • Ted Baxter
    September 28, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    Hopefully ICE has been called.

  • TJB
    September 28, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Alright…. You featured all the customers; now let’s see the main attraction’s.

  • Y
    September 28, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Either you sell crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot

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