WTF

Easter Bunny Fighting Convict Parent At The Mall Is The Most New Jersey Thing That Has Ever Happend

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ABC NewsThe Easter bunny wasn’t so warm and welcoming yesterday at the Newport Centre mall in Jersey City. The furry mascot brawled with the parent of a small child brought to see him, which then escalated to a group conflict. Two videos posted to Twitter captured the chaotic scene that occurred Sunday evening. The first video shows the 22-year-old man dressed as the Easter bunny fighting with another man. Mall security and bystanders break up the fight and the man dressed as the Easter Bunny walks away. But, about 10 seconds later, the man comes back, rips off his bunny gloves and starts swinging again.

In the next video, the fight escalates into a larger brawl with several people punching and kicking the costumed character. In the end, the fight is dispersed and security has restrained the man dressed as the Easter Bunny. Earlier today, department spokesperson Jennifer Morrill told the Associated Press that the man dressed as the Easter bunny and the father of a 1-year-old child fought after the child slipped from a chair while taking photos with the rabbit.

“Following their investigation today, Jersey City detectives are charging both the Easter Bunny and the father of the child in the incident from the Newport Centre Mall on Sunday,” Morrill told ABC News today.

The statement said that Kassim Charles, 22, of Bergen Avenue (the Easter Bunny) and Juan Jimenez-Guerrero, 44, of Bright Street, are both charged with aggravated assault and disorderly conduct. They are detained at Hudson County Correctional Center.

Welcome to Jersey. Hopefully someone called up the ASPCA after that one, because that poor Easter Bunny was being abused. And for the record, we 110% side with the Easter Bunny. He probably doesn’t get paid much and he has to wear this terrible, heavy outfit all day and deal with whiny kids. Then this guy comes along and starts punching him because he accidentally dropped his sweaty baby. I’d lose my mind too.

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Apparently the guy who attacked the Easter Bunny has a lengthy rap sheet as well:

Jimenez-Guerrero has 12 prior arrests in New Jersey, four disorderly persons convictions and one criminal conviction. He also has eight prior arrests in New York, where his is wanted on a fugitive from justice warrant. His bail was set today at $25,000 with a 10 percent cash option.

Good thing the baby momma chose to reproduce with this guy.

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What could possibly go wrong? Who would’ve ever thought a fugitive from justice with 12 prior arrests would one day exchange fisticuffs with the Easter Bunny?

I understand that tensions are gonna be high when you drop someone else’s kid, but, come on now. You handed over your kid to the mall Easter Bunny in Jersey City. What’d you expect? I mean, the only thing more dangerous than visiting the mall Easter Bunny is going to a Trump rally while wearing an “I come in peace” shirt.

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Anyway, I will say this – tensions run wicked high when you’re visiting the mall Easter Bunny. I did it the other day with Mrs. Turtleboy. First of all, the Easter Bunny is a freak. Let’s establish that right now. I don’t know who decided that it would be a good idea to mix a mutant mammal with young children and the resurrection of Christ, but they didn’t think it through.

I’d estimate that at least 50% of the kids in front of us in line at the Auburn Mall cried when it was their turn to sit with the Easter Bunny. And I don’t blame them because he’s a freaky looking mutant. The whole time in line parents are trying to convince their kids that it will be fun. And you wait in line a LONG time because half the kids get up there and take 10 minutes of baiting just to sit on the guy’s lap for 30 seconds and take some pictures.

We waited almost an hour before Turtleboy Jr’s turn. When the moment came he freaked out, of course, because he MUST always be a huge pain in the ass, and I wanted to blow my brains out. When you couple that with the fact that the guy who is in the Easter Bunny costume deals with rejection all day because he makes kids cry for a living, I can understand why tensions were so high.

Here’s my question – when did visiting the Easter Bunny become a thing? Because we never once did it as kids. Is that because I came from a welfare family? Is visiting the Easter Bunny as standard as visiting Santa? Was I robbed of the opportunity to freak out about a mutant rabbit because I got free lunch at school? Because I’m cool with never, ever going back there again.

 

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9 Comment(s)
  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 24, 2016 at 8:57 am

    Nothing like New Jersey, where the debris meets the sea.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 23, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    The white Rabbit keeping the proud black man down.

  • Whadda Wabbit!
    March 23, 2016 at 7:19 pm

    RACIS!

  • Fatfingr Lou
    March 23, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Don’t mess with Harvey the Pooka

  • Reddog
    March 23, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Was the Easter bunny wearing a bulletproof t shirt? Can’t believe that a black guy would dress up as a white guy these days.

  • RSoxGuy
    March 23, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    That fat hood rat bitch in the blue kicking the guy while he is down deserves a swift one to the mouth.

    Savages.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      March 23, 2016 at 10:49 pm

      The only savages here are the motherfuckers filming with their phones vertical.

      Horizontal motherfucker, do you use it?

  • Bobby
    March 23, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    Turtleboy you can write about Jr. without having to search for a related news story. I like your fatherhood experiences.

    • RSoxGuy
      March 23, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      Wats the matter fatty (RBG)? Girlfriend too busy working for you to slap her around tuff guy? Go beat up a buffet line.

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