Everyone Freaking Out Over Auburn Dad Who Stalked His Kid’s Schoolbus With A Clown Mask On, Grafton Hill Kids Would’ve Lit Him On Fire

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.











Lots of people buzzing about this clown in Auburn:




I dunno, kind of conflicted on this one. On the one hand, what this guy did was obviously moronic. If you wanna fuck with your own kid, that’s fine. But don’t fuck with other people’s kids. You know how dumb people are, and how people love to overreact, but you did it anyway. I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if he just put it on while he was at a red light or something. But this dude got out of the car and followed them once they got off the bus. That crosses a major line of dooshnozzelry. It’s not the fact that he had a clown mask on – it’s that he had any mask on. If some guy in a ski mask followed a group of kids off of a bus that alone would be grounds for an ass whoopin. He intentionally tried to create a disturbance with OTHER PEOPLE’s kids. That’s why it’s fucked up. You can fuck with your own roster, but let everyone else manage their own.


On the other hand………..what the fuck?? We got kids hiding under decks because of a guy in a clown mask? This is such a town thing. If this happened on Grafton Hill the kids would’ve lit him on fire. Were kids who grew up in the 90’s born with balls of steel that kids nowadays just don’t have? Because I just can’t imagine the kids on my bus to Sullivan Middle running under a deck because a guy behind us had a clown mask on. We would’ve kicked this guy right in the balls. I mean, he doesn’t even have the full outfit on. My question is, why didn’t his kid on the bus tell all his friends, “chill out everyone – that’s just my stupid Dad”? The kid who could’ve ended this earlier and didn’t was equally at fault.

Here’s the most important thing – since when are clowns scary? I can understand clowns holding a knife or a gun or something. But this guy looks like he just came back from a meeting with a client at Applebees. Clowns aren’t scary, they’re funny. They exist for us to bully and laugh at them. They don’t kill people. They are our friends.


Is this against the law? Technically cops can say just about anything is disturbing the peace, so technically everything is against the law. The cops just had a choice to make here – was this guy’s move dooshy enough for them to charge him out of spite? They decided the answer was apparently yes. I dunno, if I were to arrest him for something it would be that watch:


Come on man, you can’t be a grown ass man wearing a Casio watch from Olympia Sports in public.

I guess the bigger problem is that he’s driving with a freaking mask on. Obviously you can’t do that, right? I dunno, I’m not a lawyer. But I’m pretty sure if you got pulled over and the cop walked up to you and you had a mask on, you’d have to take it off.

Anyway, I feel like all of this clown bullshit hysteria is being fueled by the parents. If Turtleboy Jr was on that bus and he came home crying the first thing I’d tell him to do would be to stop whining. This was a middle school bus, not elementary. If you’re in the 8th grade and you’re crying about a clown then you probably shouldn’t be let out of the house without a rape whistle.


Let’s check out what the Internet has to say…..

“I disagree that people need to calm down it was a purposeful prank to scare school children! In light of all that’s been going on with clowns in the media the idiot is lucky a parent didn’t take the law into there own hands!”

In light of what’s been going on in the news? Oh, you mean like clowns standing in the street and everyone losing their Goddamn minds about that for some reason? Yea, we should cater to people’s irrational fears.

“My son was so upset he was throwing up before school yesterday. He did not go to school. This clown thing is unacceptable behavior and it all needs to stop.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. He was throwing up because of a guy in Dockers wearing a clown mask? That’s when you remind your kid that it was just one of his friend’s idiot parents and not really a killer clown. And then you tell your kid to stop being such a baby and get his ass to school. Boom. Problem solved.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

“My kids don’t even want to trick or treat this year! This is bullshit because of assholes like this my daughter can’t sleep all of a sudden is afraid of clowns and scared to go anywhere and it disrupts the school functioning properly when the kids are all worked up and talking about clowns all day instead of being focused it goes a lot deeper than you seem to understand ignorance will get you through the night I guess though”

If your daughter is all of a sudden afraid of clowns then I suggest you turn the TV off in your house, take away their cell phone, and have them read a book instead. Because the reason they’re scared of clowns is because the media and their friends on Twitter are telling them to be scared of clowns. Seriously, why are we letting kids dictate things now? School can’t function because of clowns? Give me a break. Schools can function as teachers and principals dictate they will function. Mrs. Cunningham would’ve told us to calm our poons or spree day was gonna be replaced with cultural day again. Then Mrs. Withstanley would’ve made any kid still freaking out about clowns sign the black book.

“He should be charged definately. I was reading earlier kids are having mightmates about this, and then to actually see one at school could be life changing traumatic! What a moron!!!”

Life changing? Traumatic? Gee, I wonder why colleges are filled with 19 year old vaginas who need safe spaces?


Good. Some idiot clowns are actually carrying knives and guns in other states. One clown actually stabbed someone and the media is reporting on it. People cannot guess one’s intent. It was beyond foolish to do. Ive read multiple status updates of kids being afraid to go to the bus stops and out to recess. Regardless of wether or not the charge sticks, given current events I hope it does, good job Auburn PD!

Stop the fight!!! You mean a clown in Missouri stabbed a guy? We should outlaw clowns altogether then!! That will fix stabbings!!

This was the comment of the day:


Sweet merciful shitstains. For the first time since signing up to blog at Turtleboy I am at a loss for words.

At the end of the day, what harm was done? So some kids cried. Is kids crying the end of the world? I make Turtleboy Jr. cry on a daily basis. That little booger thinks the remote control belongs to him, but it doesn’t. And when I let him know that he cries, because that’s what kids do sometimes. What this guy did is fucked up, and the Dad will be a pariah in town as a result of it. That alone is an appropriate punishment IMO.



We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM


Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Wormtown Brewery, Union TavernBennie’s Cafe,  JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban BarbecueSmitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors,  The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Rotti Power Equipment in West Boylston

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

20 Comment(s)
  • WTF
    October 8, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Halloween is cancelled…. Masks are now illegal.


    Fucking wussies

  • Love, Me
    October 7, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    Tell your kids: “if the scary clowns come at you, attack and go for the juggler!”

  • PatsServiceCenter
    October 7, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    I don’t see what the issue with clowns are after all the kid I sold my old house to and his little white homeboy friends are the biggest clowns of them all!

  • Emily
    October 7, 2016 at 10:51 am

    With all the media reports on clowns lately why would any sane person put on a mask and follow a school bus. Isn’t that just asking for trouble?

  • Bill
    October 7, 2016 at 9:19 am

    I think some of you are completely missing the point. This has nothing to do with “pussification”. Take the mask completely out of the equation. If there was some adult, following a school bus through town… Then he got out and followed a group of kids, that don’t know him (he made himself a stranger by covering his identity), on foot, to the point that they had to run and hide… You all would be calling for the “pervert” to be locked away, castrated, anally raped in prison, etc. They don’t know that adult following them. They did the right thing. The creepy old man following a school bus would have been all over the news and police would be hunting him down.

  • old bu not confused until now
    October 7, 2016 at 9:02 am

    Do these 7th & 8th graders go out on Halloween or stay home hiding under their beds? I wonder what hey do at the circus, run out crying? Jesus H Christ, I have heard everything now.

    • Laugh Clown Laugh
      October 8, 2016 at 1:04 am

      Oh the circus… don’t get me started…

  • NOT a SJW
    October 7, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Sorry, everyone…..they are KIDS! It IS scary to them. But did this guy think riding around in the family SUV wouldn’t out him? Total moron. He should be charged with something. I’m sure he wasn’t out to hurt anyone, but WHO KNOWS?

  • Capt. Stubing
    October 7, 2016 at 5:43 am

    This guy is an asshole. Plain and simple. He wanted attention and he got it. Is it some egregious, illegal offense? Nope. But when you act like an asshole and the local cops have to deal with the resulting shitstorm, you can’t be surprised when they look for a charge simply to make an example of you.

    • Reddog
      October 7, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      Guess he’s not eating dinner at the captains table tonight.

  • Idiocracy
    October 7, 2016 at 4:50 am

    Kids need a plan. In light of the real “threat” of clowns schools should now practice “duck ‘n’ cover” under their desks like kids in the 50’s and 60’s did in case of nuclear attack. Both clowns and nuclear war are equal in terms of fear. I’m just saying if a desk will save ya from nuclear war, it should also save you from clowns.
    Pussification is becoming more more prevalent now that the “play date and snack time” generation are having kids. Wait until the NEXT generation comes along. 🙂 At this point its all entertainment!!

    • Hugh Beaumont
      October 7, 2016 at 6:37 am

      I remember the duck and cover drills in elementary school. And they weren’t stupid enough to tell us that it might save us from a bomb hitting a few miles away but we’d die a couple weeks later from radiation poisoning.

  • SMH
    October 6, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    I work in an elementary school and the kids get off the bus crying in the morning. You know whose fault it is? The asshole parents who are telling their 5, 6, and 7 year olds that the clowns ‘will shoot them in the head, steal them, kidnap them, hurt them…’ . On and on it goes. Just another situation of hideous parenting skills and losers who should not have the right to reproduce. Who in their right mind would share this bullshit with their kid….not only share but tell said kid that the clown will shoot them if they don’t behave? We are DOOMED

  • Reddog
    October 6, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    We are raising a nation of pussys! Are kids gonna cry at McDonalds when there is a picture of Ronald McDonald on their happy meal? Jesus Christ already. This shit is embarrassing. Can you imagine what Putin must think.

  • Shackleford
    October 6, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    So it’s illegal to wear masks now?

    • Guy
      October 7, 2016 at 5:47 am

      No. But driving with one on is. So is stalking. So is disturbing the peace.

    • Crusty
      October 7, 2016 at 7:41 am

      Afraid to go Trick or Treating this year? GOOD! That should be stopped- totally out of control in Worcester anyway. Every single town has regs and time limits – Worcester? Nothing. The parents DRIVE thier kids, or even better, adults are out collecting a years supply of free candy. Its no longer just the kids from your own neighborhood, van loads are brought in, and turning out the light does NOTHING to stop them from ringing the bell all night. 5-7 like the towns woukd be more than adequate.

      • kingsraisins
        October 7, 2016 at 1:25 pm

        I live in a nice neighborhood, and vans full of kids from other parts of the city pull up, park, and trick or treat.

        Some of the kids are clearly well into their teens and are in high school. This year, I’m turning my light off.

        • Crusty
          October 8, 2016 at 1:00 am

          Doesn’t stop them from ringing the bell THEN KNOCKING – untrained by parental units. Plus, kids can do this , but I get gangbanger PARENTS who say they’re collecting for thier babies. Babies don’t eat candy! 5-7 would cure this. Cmon Worcester.

      • Wabbitt
        October 7, 2016 at 1:55 pm

        Yeah now when you turn your lights off they bang on the door, then egg your house.

        I like the move of putting out an empty bowl with a sign saying for them to take one. But I’m an asshole who hates children.

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron