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Exposing the Annoying Nature of 20 Popular, Yet Terrible Christmas Songs

By J-Dub

In an attempt to further introduce myself to the readers of TurtleBoy Sports, I thought it might be fitting in this season to bring up something from the Dubsism archives that we can all agree on.  Christmas music gets really fucking annoying after a while.

You need not look at a calendar to tell what time of year it is. All you have to do is walk into a store, where you will be bombarded with it. Every city in America has at least one radio station that will play this exclusively from now until after the damn Holiday. By now, you know what I’m talking about; the scourge known as Christmas music. That’s why we here at Dubsism feel compelled to make the rare foray away from the world of sports to tackle an important issue nobody else seems to want to address when it comes to Christmas music.

We all know them; we’ve all heard them. But it isn’t very often we stop to consider the facts behind why some of these songs, especially the popular ones, are so patently annoying that using them to celebrate the biggest holiday in all of Christianity should really be questioned.

santa hanging himself

20) “The Christmas Shoes”

If you do a web search on “worst Christmas songs,” this fat little turd tops many lists, and I certainly understand why. First of all, it’s just a terrible song. But that isn’t why it is so universally hated. the actual reason why everybody else tops their lists with it are the same reason I almost want to defend it.


It is such a shitty song that even I, an avowed hater of Christmas, can’t embrace the fact that this song calls 1-800-BULLSHIT on all the phony “Joy of the Season” crap we get shovel-fed every year.

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-J-Dub is a proud contributor to Turtle Boy Sports, where he ironically almost never writes about sports.  If you would like to see J-Dub’s thoughts on sports, check out his own blog, Dubsism.

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