Facebook Employee: A 7 Year Old Girl Was Raped By Her Uncle Because I Was Too Busy Reviewing Harmless “Offensive” Posts From Butthurts

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As you know, Turtleboy has declared war on Facebook. And in doing so we’ve gotten in touch with a woman who used to work at Facebook as one of the people who reviews posts that people have reported as offensive. This is a fantastically informative read about a woman who genuinely wanted to help people who were in immediate danger, but was too swamped with frivolous reports from easily offended butthurts, which is why they quit:

Imagine going to work every day and at the start of your day, with your first cup of coffee, you sit down to glance at beheadings, children in the process of being raped, human bodies in various stages of decomposition, the living and dead results of domestic violence, hanging bodies of 10 year old boys accused of being gay, real-life snuff films and bloody dog fighting rings and their subsequent results. Can you think up a human horror? I’ve probably seen it or a picture or video of something very similar. It’s fair to say that some of the people who work around me do not fare so well. Often they end up suffering from the endless barrage of horror they witness 8 to 12 hours per day.


Did I share that *most* of these people make around a dollar per hour to do this job? That’s the truth. Not me though. I am an American who demands rights and all, so I make approximately $29 dollars per hour more than them. Technically, I don’t even have to do anymore than make sure they are clicking the buttons in the correct order. I don’t have to look at the images, but most of the time my focus on remaining unbiased in the face of, makes me do so anyway.

I knew it. Facebook outsourced their “experts” on reviewing offensive posts. Because why hire Americans who understand the nuances of social media when you can pay an 11 year old boy from Mumbai $1 an hour to do the same thing? This is why Elizabeth Warren and democrats are full of shit. Because here is this gigantic billion dollar MONOPOLY that cuts corners and outsources jobs so that their executives can take home 7 or 8 figure salaries, and these people who want to “regulate” businesses are nowhere to be found. 

Not all of the information that Facebook moderators are privy to is as horrifying as the end results mention above, some are worse. The terror in those is that they are the calls of those whose private horrors, abuse or murders are currently in process. True cries for help come from FB users every day, all day long. Facebook moderators spend a significant part of each workday forwarding ‘acts in progress’ to the authorities local to those accounts. When those accounts are legitimate those reports can and do save people’s lives. That is probably the number one reason why many traumatized by the visual horrors still stick around.

Still no ‘love’ for the people who may have banned you once before? Try to understand that for the most part, your bannings are carried out by an automatic algorithm and only a very small percentage of them handled by an actual person. Why is this? While Facebook can boast that they have nearly 1.5 billion users this year, the impressive feat is that they have 1.2 billion active users who log in nearly every day. Each one of those people have a different level of what offends them.

OK, stop right there. What this employee just admitted is that Facebook executive Monika Bickert LIED to investors on March 12, 2016, when she said that a human being reviews each of the over 1 million reported posts every day. 

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Considering all of these things, I’d like to tell you what offends me. It offends me that nearly 80% of the manual reports I have to read are from people who find themselves offended by something. A recent list of offenses include: (Translated from the the poor excuses for grammar and spelling most of them arrive in)

  • “I don’t believe in this coin. It goes against what I believe in.”
  • “This fish doesn’t look like a fish, it looks like a man’s private parts, and I have small children around me during the day.”
  • “I saw this on my feed and I do not approve please take it off.”
  • “This page shared my picture without credit or permission.”
  • “Can you remove this picture I don’t like it.”
  • This is not true, my God would never let this happen.

Now, forgive me or not, but personally I can assure you of this. In the face of the actual reportable issues that come in at the rate of 250k per hour, I really don’t give a shit if coins offend you, or if you can’t keep your ass off Facebook while you babysit the neighborhood children. What I care about, what really, truly fucking offends me is the fact that after 5 hours of reading through your butthurt sob stories, I find the 7 year old girl who, too scared to tell an authority has figured out how to report a picture her uncle posted of her that was blatantly, obviously sexual, and begged for help. “He says he’s coming over today at 2. Can you please help me, I don’t know what to do.”

If You Think Your Biggest Problems on Facebook are Photos or Statuses that Offend You – You Have No Idea How Often I Eye Your Account for Deletion. 

Thanks to your delicate sensibilities, I didn’t get to read her report until it was 5 her time. Four hours ago I could have possibly prevented another one of her rapes. I could have had the police waiting for him when he arrived at her house. Four hours from now I’ll probably cry myself to sleep because I didn’t get to. Thanks again, to people who obviously need to stay the fuck off of the internet. Why did her report not come up faster? Because she’s seven, she reported the picture as a lesser offense that reported properly would have bumped it up the queue past all of your cries of visual injustice. Those pieces of ugliness that are top-o-the-queue every morning.

Amazing. This guy could’ve prevented a 7 year old girl from being raped if he had acted in time. But he couldn’t, because he was too busy wading through frivolous reports from the butthurt patrol. If you’re sitting at your computer reporting shit you don’t like instead of just NOT looking at it, then you are making it possible for 7 year old girls to get raped. Please, fuck off and die. 

Get over your narcissism.  Your shabby reasons behind reporting shit are not just offensive but harmful in many cases. When I was a kid, we didn’t have a way to communicate instantly with people all over the world. We didn’t have a friend on the other side of the earth who cared enough to call the police for us when we were in trouble. And yet so many of you are bent on warping the capabilities of social networking into a crying game at a level that cannot even be remotely handled by 100K + people working 8 to 12 hours a day. Technology gave you an open stage in front of the world and some of you have used it in the old pigeon shitting on the chessboard fashion. You should be ashamed, but as one of your moderators, I can clearly see you are not.

I want to kiss this former employee right on the lips. Could not have said it any better. We have this amazing technology at the palm of our hands, but morons use it for whining about hurt feelings. This is the equivalent of tattling on another kid in second grade because you don’t like the color of his shoes. Except instead of the teacher telling you to sit down and shutup, they suspend the kid for 30 days because the shoes contain sexual violence. 

Before I go I want to share some of the most frequently asked questions:

1. “Why did Facebook never respond to my report or my ban issue?”

I’ll be blunt here. Overtaxed system, automatic algorithm ignored you. OR, not enough fucks given about your issue if manually modded.

2. Does Facebook even see appeals or emails sent about my page or personal issue?

Again, bluntly, no. Facebook keeps and sometimes rotates out, one-single appeal email address that lands on someone’s list of things-to-do. The rest of them just reply with automated messages about how they might help, they might not. They won’t.

3. “Will you see it when I report this post?”

Yes, but go ahead, you might as well add to the problem. I’ll have to remove it too, because I didn’t refrain from cursing but hey, fuck you.

The woman who wrote this blog is named Joy Lynsky. She’s also created a Facebook page called, “The Internet Offends Me,” which is a really good follow. Either way, it’s so refreshing to see that someone else who actually worked for Facebook is able to call them out on their lies and bullshit. All this did is confirm what we already knew – human beings do not review your reported posts on Facebook. 


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12 Comment(s)
  • Turtleboy Customer Service
    October 26, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    Dear Kevin,

    Ooh how we have missed your Coocoo ramblings here. May we remind you about your involvement with such young persons such as those Loation boys you speak to online, or perhaps all the kids at McKay elementary one FSU campus, or perhaps Emily. You sir are one to talk as that is your M/O! Keep up the crazy though cause we have truly missed you. PS when will we be getting our lawsuit?

    • JoeMomma
      October 26, 2016 at 7:17 pm

      His attorney, Lionel Hutz, will contact you soon, I’m sure…..

    • Gilly13
      October 26, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Hey Kevin,

      I think it is Spike TV that has a show, “1000 Ways to Die”

      Hope to see your story there soon!

  • Reddog
    October 26, 2016 at 3:31 pm


  • Bob Ratchet
    October 26, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    And yet TBS had a whole post offering a free t-shirt to the Turtlerider that shut down the page of a local Worcester woman they disagreed with. Encouraged readers to file false reports.

    You are part of the problem you idiot. Stupid facts huh?

  • Mambo
    October 26, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    So turtleboy admitted to helping get a 7 year old girl get raped. Weren’t you the one who wrote a blog asking to mass report others just to get back at them for suspending you account. Congrats, you’re supporting rape now. The girl could’ve got help that day if you and others like you didn’t mass report garbage because you’re offended facebook suspended you.

    • Coffee
      October 26, 2016 at 7:04 pm

      I remember that. Love turtle boy sports, but there is unfortunate ipocracy here.

    • Mambos my bitch
      October 28, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      Why don’t you meet me down on water Street so i can rape Jose

  • Mediocrity
    October 26, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    So glad I don’t use Facebook.

  • Andrew McDonough
    October 26, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    Kevie “Fore” Lynch… Please read this woman’s blog… And know that all of those times you flooded the system with your asinine complaint submissions, you contributed to this problem… But then again, what good would that do to a psychopathic murdering twat like you. It was probably your niece crying out for help…

    • Wabbitt
      October 26, 2016 at 7:38 pm

      Nah. Probably his nephew.

  • kevin Lynch
    October 26, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    I have been the victim of such bullshit. Some Turtle riding bitch reported a picture of trash that my neighbors had all over the sidewalk for weeks as porn.

    Turtle boy is king butthurt.

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