Hoodrat Heroes

Fall River Baby Momma Ratchet Queen Pretends To Be Lawyer, Sends Turtleboy The Most Hilarious Nonsensical Message In TBS History

Fall River Baby Momma Ratchet Queen Pretends To Be Lawyer, Sends Turtleboy The Most Hilarious Nonsensical Message In TBS History

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Earlier today we published this blog about two Fall River herpes saleswomen getting in a month long Facebook ghetto beef over the dirty dick of their mutual incarcerated baby daddy before finally exchanging fisticuffs on Facebook for the world to see. One of the combatants was Tieonah Addington, and she was a level of ratchetry we’ve never seen before:

Well right on cue we heard from Tieonah this evening when she sent us an inbox message, and she was everything we dreamed she would be and more. She began by vainly attempting to communicate in something that somewhat resembles the English language:

I’ve read that 30 times now. Still have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.

We’ve seen a lot of threats to hire imaginary lawyers for imaginary Internet lawsuits before, but we’ve never seen a ratchet actually pretend to be a lawyer before now. Tieonah even attempted to use things such as capital letters, and apostrophes. Still no periods though:

And based on her litter of children, it looks like her paragraphs aren’t the only thing in her life with missing periods.

Anyway, it sounds pretty serious. Clearly this lawyer means business. As they pointed out, they are tracking the page, and the only way for us to correct this is to contact the “station.” Not sure what station that means. Could be the news station, the police station, or the masturbation station. Anything is possible with gutterslugs like this.

Whichever one of the turtle chicks was answering the messages (clearly it wasn’t Deskie) was getting too sassy with this broad. Our official policy with these ratchets is simple – get them on Turtleboy Live, no matter what it takes. So Uncle Turtleboy had to come in to smooth things over:

Our offer was declined, much like any credit card this spelling bee champ hasn’t ever tried to use:

This is easily the greatest message we’ve ever received on Turtleboy Sports. Ever. Something tells me this isn’t the last time we’ll hear from Tieonah Addington.



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33 Comment(s)
  • on it's back
    May 25, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Ahhhhhh!!!! What an ugly????? Wait that was photo shopped no one really looks like that? Fuck l forget I’m here at turtle boy!!!!! thanks again

  • Fact Checker
    May 25, 2017 at 12:59 am

    My favorite line from the “lawyer” was “please do not hit up my client again.” Very believable lawyer jargon. Tieonah must be watching a lot of Law and Order SVU.

  • Duke Westwood
    May 24, 2017 at 10:53 am

    “don’t hit up my client no more”

    Pissing myself laughing at that…

    • KimberlyS
      May 24, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      That’s the one that got me 🙂

  • Johnny5
    May 24, 2017 at 10:51 am

    Serious question – what kind of drugs make you look like this? Heroin? Crack? Meth? All of the above?

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      May 25, 2017 at 1:19 am

      Looks like she has gone with your last option, the smorgasbord of smack

  • rocketmcstonebreaker
    May 24, 2017 at 10:29 am

    More like Tieonah Addict-ington.

  • Marleene
    May 24, 2017 at 10:06 am

    How deplorable is this job for you PHOEBE? Wow just WOW.

    • Ratchets are fun!
      May 24, 2017 at 10:41 am

      Who fuck is phoebe?

      • Ratchets are fun!
        May 24, 2017 at 10:42 am


  • Troubled Nostrils
    May 24, 2017 at 9:28 am

    I know it’s horrendous for anyone to suggest that people like this should be rounded up, euthanized, and buried en masse in shallow graves, so I won’t even go there.

    • Mark D
      May 24, 2017 at 9:43 am

      you wouldn’t be wrong if you said that

  • JustMe
    May 24, 2017 at 9:24 am

    She has kids??!!! OMG. How fucked up out of your mind would someone have to be to lay on top of that thing

  • MyrtleTheTurtle
    May 24, 2017 at 8:54 am

    The flour expects the welcome behind the comparative critic. Its carriage perfects the sacked idiot. When will the officer waffle? An anthology weds before the chemical. An industrial fire changes outside the extract.A cleaner bubbles beneath the spokesman! Will the fundamentalist contour the catching skill? Inside the cured export spits his official bond. Why can’t a sunlight cow a hypothesis? In the wee author stirs the unfortunate retrieval.

    Only the finest word salad for the Turtle Ryder’s .

  • Rod Munch
    May 24, 2017 at 8:20 am

    How sad do you have to be to get your dick anywhere near that?

    • Talisman
      May 24, 2017 at 8:31 am

      Like my dad used to say, “watch it boy, the stink from that one would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon”

  • Jafreese
    May 24, 2017 at 8:08 am

    I miss the good old days when it took a certain level of intelligence to use computers. Bottom feeders like this should not have the ability to express their idiotic thoughts to such a wide audience.

  • Briotch
    May 24, 2017 at 7:29 am

    Sad part is… she had kids

  • Gtizzle
    May 24, 2017 at 6:48 am

    Punctuation matters. It’s the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

    Btw, you know the lawyer is legit when they ask you not to “hit up” their client again.

  • Phong
    May 24, 2017 at 6:24 am

    Yoda is her lawyer we think he is.

    • Talisman
      May 24, 2017 at 7:51 am

      And no lawyer ever said, or will say, “have a blessed night”, not even a Jedi Shyster at Christmas time.

      • Lala
        May 24, 2017 at 11:05 am

        How about a lawyer saying “hit me up” too friggin funny.

  • Agent Smith
    May 24, 2017 at 5:40 am

    This twat must have just shot up a few bags of junk into her arm when she wrote it. I’m sure that message sounded good in her head. But for the rest of us not on the nod, what an abortion

  • Username
    May 24, 2017 at 3:35 am

    BTW her name is pronounced Tee-ahn-uh

    • Lala
      May 24, 2017 at 11:03 am

      Uh…am I crazy? That in no way spells Tianna…that’s spells “Tie-ona” I would maybe accept the “Fiona” like pronunciation but there is not even an A in that first half of alphabets to say Tianna.

      “And based on her litter of children, it looks like her paragraphs aren’t the only thing in her life with missing periods.”
      I almost spit out my coffee that was so funny!! Haha good one!!

  • Username
    May 24, 2017 at 3:32 am

    Lol you said this has been a month long battle between them. You have no idea, this shit has been going on for over 4 years!! I personally witnessed this shit show for over a year & let me just tell you that you can’t imagine how much worse it is in the flesh!!

    • itsjustme
      May 24, 2017 at 9:34 am

      The sad part is that guy is nothing to fight over,and he’s just sitting back laughing watching them do it.

    • Jessica
      May 24, 2017 at 6:23 pm

      It’s not like Amber doesn’t go bat shit crazy every time a female talks to her man. She already got into it with Tonya and Jocelyn over Matt and was psychotic when it comes to Sizzle. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sizzle is Avantae’s dad.

  • Spend It All
    May 24, 2017 at 12:46 am

    Holy fucking forehead. You could land a 747 on that thing!

    • Cunt Wagon
      May 24, 2017 at 5:37 am

      Her forehead should be named USS Nimitz

  • whatevuh
    May 24, 2017 at 12:08 am

    Wow, just wow, how can anyone survive being that fucking stupid? Oh yeah, drugs, duh! What a fucking skank

    • Sad But True
      May 24, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      There are no drugs in the world that make a person that fucked up. That’s a perfect example of a totally 100 percent uneducated, inbred, street slug that should have NEVER been allowed to breed.

  • DMac
    May 24, 2017 at 12:05 am

    “Masturbation station.” Awesome.

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