Hoodrat Heroes

Fall River Orangastank Leaves Several Cocoa Canoes On Stranger’s Lawn In Assonet, Abandons Car At Scene Of The Slime, Crotch Fruits Remain MIA

 

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This is Stephenie with 3 E’s Serrano.

Her Facebook profile shows that she has a litter of crotch fruits and is from Portland, Maine, but as you can see from the pajama pants glamour photos, she’s well known in Fall River slop bucket circles.

 

Fast forward two months later and she’s driving around Assonet on Route 79 last night, when this happened:

Thanks to the power of Ring the stranger who lives in this house was able to see exactly why she woke up this morning and found this on her front lawn:

Me thinks she took the word Assonet a little too seriously.

Girlfriend was really working it too. Switching up positions and making sure every last ounce of butt burrito exited her oval orifice.

Again, this wasn’t a revenge dumping either. She had absolutely no idea who lived in this house. She was just driving along, felt the urge to fire out a couple cocoa canoes, and instead of finding a McDonald’s she just dropped trough and left her mark on a stranger’s lawn.

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In fairness, she readily admits to be the “crazy one.”

And she just redefined what “real shit 100 emoji” really means.

Anyway, instead of leaving she actually stayed there until 3 AM when someone else came and picked her up, and she wisely left her car behind.

Which made it easy to trace the orangastank’s plates.

And finally the homeowner decided to get their revenge by giving her back her rectal rockets…..on her windshield.

This is why we need a wall around Fall River and New Bedford.

 

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65 Comment(s)
  • Jarod Lavigne
    May 29, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    This is the best shit ive seen in a while no pun intended just hilarious you gotta be a real queef box to do some shit like that fall river is a cess pool of people

  • Bahahahah
    May 26, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Lmfao…I love that they picked it up and threw it on her car. I’m laughing sooo hard this is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Also, that’s some pretty soft shit for a junkie. She must be a cocaine addict because usually dope fiends are constipated, and when they finally shit, it’s hard as a rock. Just saying. Lmao

  • Watawaste
    May 25, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    F’ing drugs. TBS example #3,287 of an attractive young girl who destroyed her life. Try to put the poo poo aside for a minute. Before she hit bottom she was blonde, cute, and slim with a sweet rack. Now she pushes out loafs on lawns. I’m amazed she didn’t get back in her car and kill herself in a crash later that night. What could have been.

  • Tool
    May 25, 2019 at 1:58 am

    At least she wiped the shit off her whore ass. I thought she was going to drop a niglet there at first and abandon it.

    • Moo Moo Michelle
      May 26, 2019 at 9:37 pm

      She created an Obama family in one shit

  • Lost Cause
    May 23, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    I’m fukn dying. I have seen it all!!

  • Positive and Affirming Comments Only, or You'll Be Offered Up as a Blood Sacrifice
    May 23, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    This reminds me of the South Park episode when Mr. Mackey is trying to find out who dropped a deuce in the urinal.

    Y, do your thing!

    • Y
      May 23, 2019 at 3:57 pm

      • P.A.C.O.
        May 23, 2019 at 4:17 pm

        PERFECT! LMAO!

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    May 23, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    She needs to eat more fiber.

  • Dick Scratcher
    May 23, 2019 at 10:41 am

    I hear that’s Francis Sidebottom’s mom/sister/wife.

    Also how in the blue fuck is that name pronounced “Steven-ee”?

    Fucking inbred.

  • Adam Schiff's a peter puffer
    May 23, 2019 at 1:07 am

    Wow !
    Just. Fucking. Wow.
    Just when you thought it was safe to walk across the lawn barefoot……
    Fucking savages !

  • Grubby Mutt - Trail of Stench
    May 23, 2019 at 12:06 am

    This grubby mutt obviously doesn’t believe in chemical fertilization. Sorry girl, most of us in the 21st Century don’t practice the ancient art of fertilizing our lawn with human excreta. Keep your disease ridden filth to yourself.

  • TheCureForHope
    May 22, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    What a POS. Literally.

  • True justice
    May 22, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    There’s a lawn in scituate that needs fertilizing

  • megamortus
    May 22, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    This must be what all that SJW talk regarding COLONialism is all about.

  • #2 4 U
    May 22, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Reminds me of the airline commercial ‘wanna get away” How embarrassing, even for a seasoned ratchet.

  • Swamp Ass
    May 22, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Stephfeces Shitrrano

  • Dorchester Throw Down
    May 22, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    Shitting on a neighbors lawn is better than killing him for barbecuing. You never get between a black man and his BBQ RIBS Yo.

  • Cathy
    May 22, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Thank you so much for this, I am that homeowner and I appreciate you so much right now!

    • The angry taint
      May 22, 2019 at 9:51 pm

      Oh cathy you minx! Putting the shit on her windshield is epic! Brava my dear! Brava!

  • WeRFucked
    May 22, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    Where else can we go for shit like this? Only Turtleboy.

    The comment section is alive & well. Thank you for making me laugh.

  • That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow
    May 22, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    Arrrgh! Jack the monkey used to leave caramel surprises all over the poop deck of the”Pearl” before me crew broke him in properly. Mes thinks Jack never pulled out his own shit unless in anger

  • The angry taint
    May 22, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    I wish I was that regular

    • The angry taint
      May 22, 2019 at 9:53 pm

      Seriously? Someone down voted regular bowl movements? Ahahahaha

      • Conan the Grammarian
        May 23, 2019 at 3:18 pm

        For the record, I up-voted, always enjoy your comments.

        I myself carried my empty cereal vessel to the sink when I was done with breakfast. I certainly hope you have a better sense of humor about typo’s than the humorless soul who scorched me in the latest Tibbetts comments.

        • Conan The Grammarian
          May 24, 2019 at 9:47 am

          I play victim even though I am a passive aggressive shithead who gets his panties in a bunch over typos. I dont have much going for me in life and this is how I get off

  • Adam Sandler
    May 22, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Woooohhhh! That’s the grossing thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

  • Le Douche Much
    May 22, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    Look man I aint falling for no bananna in da tail pipe.

  • Ratchet Rollins D.A.
    May 22, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    This bitch is koo koo for cocoa puffs like me. She shit brown so I will not prosecute

  • Nee Chi
    May 22, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    Ugh…was going to say something, but afraid I might get reported.

    Sucks…was funny to. Maybe.

  • American Girl
    May 22, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    The homeowner should have rubbed her nose in it.

  • Fred Knessl
    May 22, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    Stephenie is determined to be the future Mayor of this SanFrancisco of the East. They plan to license the great California city’s Free Needle program so that people who voluntarily inject poison into their veins don’t get any diseases from it. And their legendary Poop Patrol App from Itunes.
    Shitsville USA. Keep re-electing the Democrats.

  • Y
    May 22, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    Unc, you need to screenshot the original Facebook video and upload it to YouTube before it gets taken down and lost forever.

    • Y
      May 22, 2019 at 8:08 pm

  • Dad
    May 22, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    Let out the pitbull…

    • z
      May 22, 2019 at 3:26 pm

      Considering it’s her ass crack: “Release the Kraken!!!!!”

      A video meld of that scene in the movie and then a cut to the “Dump” would be pretty funny.

      • z
        May 22, 2019 at 4:15 pm

        Mark Antony in Act 3, Scene 1, line 273 of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: “Cry ‘Havoc!,’ and let slip the dogs of war.”

        Which Marlon Brando said as Mark Antony in the movie “Julius Caesar” , 1953.

  • thebingo
    May 22, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    DUMPLESTILSKIN

  • The Name Game
    May 22, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    The ratchet name and pronunciation has now officially left the hood. What’s with this “pronounced STEE-ven-ee?” Reminds me of the wacko who was upset that an airline gate agent teheed at the name Abcde, which mom said was supposed to be pronounced like “AB-sid-ee.” Or “KVIIIlyn” pronounced “CAIT-lyn.”

    Now, dumping in a front yard? What’s so hard about at least ducking behind a tree? I bet this won’t be the first wacky thing to be recorded by Ring. I bet we’ll be seeing more of these on Ridiculousness.

  • Poo Is Lube
    May 22, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    Would

  • Meat Loaf
    May 22, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    When Randall sees this he’s going to have a spasm…

    • Y
      May 22, 2019 at 3:03 pm

      Orgspasm, yes.

  • Terrorized By Her Shit
    May 22, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    Thank you SSTG! Cant Express my gratitude enough for this article. You are the light of my life ♡ If I had to see her shit in my newsfeed all morning, at least it was for a good cause.

  • hoobahstank
    May 22, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Easily makes TB All Time Top Ten posts. -No Shit.

  • Bill Drake
    May 22, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    Number One THEN…..and number two NOW!

  • Bill Belichick
    May 22, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    It is what it is.

    • Bill Belichick
      May 22, 2019 at 2:47 pm

      On to Cincinnati.

  • reformed shitposter
    May 22, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    A new low on turtoo boy

  • Her Mom
    May 22, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    What a nasty bitch

  • Bill Drake
    May 22, 2019 at 2:20 pm

    And the SHITS just keep on comin’

  • Y
    May 22, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    This girl’s poop cutter was working overtime squeezing-out those snickers bars.
    What’s w/all the crazy today? Ho-Lee-Fuk!

    • Y
      May 22, 2019 at 2:42 pm

  • German Guy
    May 22, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    Gott in himmel! Zis shiesavideo is WUNDEBAR!

    • Mom’s Basement
      May 22, 2019 at 3:12 pm

      I knew that turtleboy would be logging (pun intended) a spike in German ip addresses over this.

  • Batman
    May 22, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    Thats some messed up shit. Assonet doorbell cam is the new Russian dash cam video. Personally, I like homeowners solution but maybe add a banana to the tailpipe. What an absolute animal, deserved it. Nice bum tho.

    • Y
      May 22, 2019 at 2:16 pm

  • Metamucail
    May 22, 2019 at 2:08 pm

    The difference between Stephenie and Maude is that Maude is still full of shit.
    From the look of her pellets, it looks like she needs more fiber in her diet.

    • Y
      May 22, 2019 at 2:15 pm

      Or fewer opiates

  • Alexandria Occasional Cortex
    May 22, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    Cocoa Canoe? LOL!

    • z
      May 22, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      Yeah, I’ve got to put that in memory bank. I wonder if MassLive would catch on or would it be over their heads in the comment section?

  • Well, I Used to Talk Shit, But Won't Anymore Because Fuck Getting Thrown Under A Bus
    May 22, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Oh, my! This beautiful, empowered woman obviously has ulcerative colitis, or irritable bowel syndrome. She just couldn’t hold it any longer, and had to do what needed to be done.

    It was thoughtful of the homeowner to return her property, though. The homeowner leaving it on her windshield so that she wouldn’t miss it was a very nice gesture.

  • Ogie
    May 22, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    definitely wouldn’t

  • Old Tom Morris
    May 22, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Literally had her Ass-On-it.

  • Stunt Penis
    May 22, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    When ya gotta go, ya gotta go…

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