Food Stamp Friday: Hartford Foodstampede Whines About Not Getting Enough Stamps On FB Live, Says She’ll “Open Up” For Cash, EBT, Or Cinnamon Toast Crunch
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We’ve got a special video edition of Food Stamp Friday today. Our skagbag of the week is a local cheesehog from Hartford named Kariana Dejesus.
And this Foodstampede is none too pleased that now that she’s got a 40 hour a week job, they’ve reduced her food stamps. So what did she do? She went on Facebook Live, did some fake crying about it, and finally offered to have sex for $100 worth of stamps…..
Only in America can you look like this:
And be qualified for taxpayer funded food stamps, because you’re allegedly going hungry.
“Look a my fat ass. She sees this belly. She gonna say gonna say $13? I said, $1,300? Thirteen times 13? I said, but why? I’m working 40 hours. Isn’t that what everyone is supposed to do??”
So this sounds like it’s the first time she’s gone to the food stamp line and actually had a job. Apparently she thought she’d get more assistance for working. Ya know, like you’re supposed to do. Work. More than likely she gets larger checks in the past because we give you more money if you don’t work. And honestly, she’s got a point. If there really was a dude in front of her getting $567 who wasn’t working, I’d be bullshit too. I just wouldn’t expect the government to give more money to me too.
Luckily she had a plan:
“I saw the mother fucker and I told him, I’m gonna tell your wife you’re cheating unless you give me half of your mother fucking food stamps. Cuz I know who you are. And if you’re watching, I still want half of that $567.”
Oh right, the ol “blackmail half your food stamps from you” routine. Oldest trick in ratchet book.
Then she starts singing the $13 song, which comprises of her crying “$13” over and over again like a piano that hasn’t been tuned since the Gilded Age.
Eventually she agrees on a skizouri compromise:
“At least give me $20. I’d be good with 20.”
Watching this video it’s very clear that she thinks that money grows on the welfare tree. “Give me.” “I’m good with.” Those are words that come out of your mouth when you think you are owed something you didn’t earn. Clearly this Connecticunt thinks the state hasn’t done enough for her throughout her life, and the second they expect her to become self sufficient, all hell breaks loose.
That’s when things got really interesting…..
“Now I gotta sell my ass. And my testimony is gonna be, I had to sell my ass cuz a bitch gave me $13 in food stamps!!!”
“I’ll fuck for food stamps. I will bust it open for $100.”
If you’re willing to pay $100 to “bust this open”:
You might as well just give up on life. Just sayin.
“If I have to bust it open for food stamps, Im a bust it open for corn on the cob.”
“If you don’t come to me with a Cinnamon Crunch Toast box, don’t come to me.”
“Take my soul Jesus, they took my food stamps away.”
Look, if you think you’re gonna toss your porridge gun inside this gravy dumpster without a box of Cinnamon Crunch Toast
you’re dead wrong. Good thing she’s wearing “Love Pink” XXXL clothing. Because that’s economical and shows that she clearly knows how to budget. There’s literally nothing in her life that can be adjusted. Just give her more stamps.
Ironically, drilling strangers raw dog is both the reason she’s in this predicament in the first place, and a great way for her to get more food stamps. Shocking that things didn’t work out with her state pool romance.
Finally she announced that she was actually in the market go BUY stamps all of a sudden:
“I needa know who’s selling food stamps. Who the hell is selling food stamps?”
If she’s looking for a connect, I suggest she subscribe to our Food Stamp Friday series. Ratchets will be undercutting each other for her business in no time. Either that, or go to the grocery store, bend over, and hope some rich guy comes by to drop his seed in her sperm sponge.
Hopefully he buys her some Cinnamon Crunch Toast too.
Anyway, society clearly owes this chick. We obviously don’t do enough for her, and it’s our job to finance her never ending series of poor life decisions. Because if she has to pay for her own groceries then how can she afford a new car?
Oh, and guess what her job is?
I’m not sure what she does, but there was a 99.9% chance she found herself a job where she gets to wear scrubs to work and call herself a CPN.
According to her though, she’s a pharmacy technician:
Thought you had to go to college for that. Although based on what I just watched and her overall victim mentality, she’d fit right in at Yale.
The ratchet patrol was out in full force to defend her honor in the comments too:
Newsflash – if you can afford an iPhone, hair dye, name brand clothing, flat screen TVs, a new car, and what appears to be a roomy, nicely decorated apartment, you don’t need food stamps. EBT isn’t a way of life. It’s a way to get your life off the ground. At least that’s what it’s supposed to be. And this chick had done what she’s supposed to do – get a job. Now she’s realizing that she’s actually better off being a hooker and popping out more babies from strangers. Don’t worry though hun, once Governor Malloy sees this your benefits are gonna be right back where you think they should be.
The bottom line is that this video has been viewed almost 100,000 times, and she’s picked up a buttload of new followers as a result of it. If she were smart she’d take her newfound 15 minutes of fame and start selling some t-shirts. She has “cash me outside” potential. Do a daily food stamp rant like this and you can literally make a living being a Youtuber. She is cordially invited on Turtleboy Live this Sunday night to discuss this and other business opportunities with the Turtleboy family.
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