Foreskin Fapnado Is Back On Facebook, Brags About Spilling Drinks On Women’s Head In New Jersey And Having Herpes 


Three months ago a Keene, NH man was featured on Turtleboy for sexually harassing random women with dick pics and screenshots of successful people’s bank accounts, in the vain hope that this could eventually lead to him getting his dinky-doodle wet for the first time since procreating.

The same dude who then posts screenshots of private conversations he had with the daughter he doesn’t have custody, in order to prove he’s a great Dad.

Well, he went ghost and moved to New Jersey after we exposed him, but apparently he’s put his page back up and hasn’t learned his lesson based on a post from this weekend.

Dude, save some pussy for the rest of us man.

Of course we know that none of that actually happened, because no chick would ever choose to speak to him without being dared to do so. And if it did happen he would be so over the top that a woman actually showed a slight interest in him, only to become depressed when he realized he couldn’t afford to buy them the imaginary drink he dumped on their head.

His comments were even more pathetic.

He also claimed that he dipped his spam javelin in far hotter penis fly traps than I have.

I can’t tell if he’s playing a character, or if he’s really just this stupid. Either way, he’s pretty much begging to be on Turtleboy so I figured I’d do as he wanted.

He began messaging women who had the audacity to call him out on his bullshit.


Before admitting that he has herpes.

Another productive day for the Foreskin Fapnado. The only downside here is that his name (Matthew Brown) is so common that he’s pretty safe on Google searches for the rest of his life. Just a reminder Matt – you are a deadbeat junkie loser and your daughter secretly despises you and wishes she had a real Dad instead of a two time Turtleboy  cum jockey.


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29 Comment(s)
  • John
    January 8, 2020 at 12:37 am

    Isn’t it funny how the guys with a sack actually agree? Women intentionally bait guys on facebook literally just to screenshot and put them on blast for attention. It’s a fucking epidemic. Like this if you’re not a gaping vagina and realize that women’s rights ruined everything.

  • Drug resistant std's yo please
    January 7, 2020 at 6:57 am

    Disrespecting dirty women is for the show. This video is for his go.

  • Just sayin’
    January 6, 2020 at 10:43 pm

    He’s not hard to look at though.

  • Real_Finn
    January 6, 2020 at 10:42 pm


    I can imagine the look of horror on a prostitute’s face when you drop trow and they see a mess of blister-soup. No woman wants to deal with misogynistic ass-wipe with a spotted pickle dick. I hope your herpes turns to cancer (stage 4). Long shot, but I can dream.

    Get Fucked,

    • soxrock191
      January 9, 2020 at 3:42 am

      God damn I love you Finn

  • Corinth Arkadin
    January 6, 2020 at 9:23 pm

    Space Herpes


    Get On Board

  • Crenshaw
    January 6, 2020 at 9:07 pm

    I’d enjoy fucking him up the ass

  • Garcia Vega
    January 6, 2020 at 8:50 pm

    He kind of looks like he didn’t get enough oxygen in the womb. Got a weird shaped head. Must be his pea brain rattles around in that large skull. I can see he’s a chick magnet.

  • Captain Insano
    January 6, 2020 at 8:15 pm

    I don’t understand the screenshots of some of the texts between multiple people that use the same odd font. A hell of a coincidence, no?

    • Joe Blo
      January 6, 2020 at 10:46 pm

      I can’t get past the font. Who walks around with that crap on their phone. It’s like a font designer saw comic sans and said “I can do worse”.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    January 6, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    This guys gonna get his head caved soon. You can see it coming. ….

  • whatevuh
    January 6, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    The last 3 girls I dated made me get tested first, now I know why, they must have met this fucking scumbag

    • don
      January 7, 2020 at 11:14 am

      but did you make sure THEY got tested?

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    January 6, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    Casual Observation:

    He sure does have a purdy mouth.

  • Aspiring Street Rapper from the mean streets of Cohasset
    January 6, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Never trust anyone who wears a straight-rimmed hat. If it’s a Bulls hat run away as fast as possible.

  • Sister Teresa
    January 6, 2020 at 3:15 pm

    The picture of him wearing his sister’s hat with the rash from getting slapped in the face with by a barb wire dick says it all

    • Sister Teresa
      January 6, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      Sorry for the typo fellas

  • Daniel Sullivan
    The Real Shane Hoban
    January 6, 2020 at 2:55 pm

    This motherfucker doesn’t have a clue. No one disrespects women more than I do just ask around motherfuckers I’m the youngest and hottest up-and-coming comedian in Boston. Not only do I slay women I roast them afterwards. I’ll disrespect this motherfucker’s mother right in front of them. Even though I live in my mothers basement don’t have a job and my entire family can’t stand me I still slave women on the regular. This kid is an amateur next to me.

  • Judge dread
    January 6, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    This piece of shit makes decent / semi decent men look bad.

    If he is so proud of having STD’s then the judge’s contractors will pick him up and put him in a utility van with a tinted out half moon window on the backside; bring him to the tarmac at teterboro and fly his ass to the rape camps of Congo.

    Then he can brag about getting weaponized Africian aids all day long. Then his Internet access will be cut and organs will be harvested.

  • randiguy2006
    January 6, 2020 at 2:45 pm

    Dude has a point.

  • hartf811
    dirty bastards
    January 6, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    This is why I haven’t picked up chicks in bars since the Regan Administration. Just the odds of locking lips with someone who might have rubbed up against this moron somewhere down the line is enough for me.

  • Orion
    January 6, 2020 at 2:24 pm

    He’s right in that most chicks out there are a contradictory shitshow, and the ones who ghost after squeezing a dude for drinks need their teeth chipped. But still.

    • Double Standards
      January 6, 2020 at 4:53 pm

      LOL right, the “don’t need no man” bullshit. But when the chips are down, suddenly “but I’m a woman!”

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 6, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    He would be used as currency in prison. Hopefully a couple sexual assault and possession charges will make that happen soon

    • Mr. Bubba
      January 7, 2020 at 12:22 am

      His ass would get took real quick in the joint with them pretty baby blues.

  • Crystal Laviolette
    Slay the Javelin
    January 6, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    Not even cute with that weird shit on his face. Wtf is that anyways!?!

    • Testes Injury
      January 6, 2020 at 3:12 pm

      Ball burns

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      January 6, 2020 at 4:04 pm

      the result of being a happy pierre in a barrel full of holes

    • Rod Ramsey
      January 6, 2020 at 9:51 pm

      That is the aids

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