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We follow this Facebook page called “The ORIGINAL Discussing Fitchburg,” and we saw these comments by some yahoo named Kevin Lynch. He’s not very happy with Fitchburg’s new Mayor, Stephen DiNatale, because apparently the Mayor has the audacity of making him shovel his sidewalk:
Turtleboy is a big fan of Mayor DiNatale. I wish we had leadership like this in Worcester that actually made people shovel their shit. This is good government in action. They even posted about it on FPD’s Facebook page:
Well evidently this was an unreasonable request for Mr. Lynch. A simple reminder to shovel your sidewalk is tantamount to intimidation and/or harassment. “Bring it on Mayor DiNatale and crew!!” Shots fired.
You might be asking yourself, who gives a shit what some yahoo said on Facebook? Facebook was created for morons to say stupid things. Well as it turns out this guy has been somewhat of a controversial figure in the dirty Burg. As mentioned earlier, this guy previously ran for Mayor against Lisa Wong in 2011, and he is everything you dreamed he would be:
That is the most Fitchburg thing I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the only times you will ever see him without his token beret:
Shockingly he never made it past the primary, coming in a distant third to Joe Solomito and Lisa Wong. It probably didn’t help that he was arrested for getting drunk and attacking an off duty police officer right in the middle of his campaign.
One of his big platforms is his own personal butthurt about the Fitchburg Police. Amongst other things he believes that they are allowing people to deal drugs:
Apparently he wants Mayor DiNatale arrested for committing a federal crime by delivering this reminder to shovel your sidewalk:
Wait….what? How is this a federal crime?
Great point. This is a serious issue. Better call the FBI!!!
So what is his beef exactly? Why can’t he just shovel his sidewalk? I mean, it’s not like the city had fined him yet. It was just a reminder that everyone has to clear their own shit. Apparently he was going with the “But, THEY didn’t shovel either!!! No fair!!!” defense:
Ahh yes, the “connections.” That’s what this is about. Definitely.
The “good ol boys” conspiracy isn’t one he’s afraid to repeat over and over again. Oh yea, and rest assured if he sees any of you people waving swastikas in his face then he’s burning them!!!
He sounds exactly how we imagined he would too:
Here’s the only comment on that video:
No driver’s license and convicted murderer? Wait….what?? This guy ran for Mayor in 2011 and City Council in 2015. This is a real thing that happened in real life? How are we just finding out about this guy now? Apparently he was framed for his crimes though:
I guess this guy is Fitchburg’s version of Steven Avery. It would probably be a coin toss in a spelling bee between those two. Just keep throwing the same words out there – “corrupt cops,” “conspiracy,” “wrongfully convicted.” Eventually it will stick.
Luckily he has a completely reasonable solution to fix the alleged corruption with the Fitchburg Police Department – swap all the cops with Leominster:
Yea, why didn’t I think of that? Just switch the police forces. Simple as that!!!
He’s not just mad about this letter he received – he’s shaking with anger!!!
Glorious. And if you think this guy’s fucking around, you’re wrong. You don’t even wanna know how many times he can bench press 225 pounds:
Can we get one of these guys in Worcester? All we have for humor is Bill Coleman. And he’s not very funny at all. I want an Irish guy who always wears a beret and thinks his human rights are being violated because the city is making his 225 pound bench pressing ass shovel his own sidewalk. Here’s hoping that this guy stays in Fitchburg politics for a long, long time.
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