Hoodrat Heroes

Free Loading Wareham Lizard Wizard Says Her Biracial Crotch Fruits Were Called N Word By Quincy Resident Who She Pimped Them Out To For Slave Labor


In today’s episode of “I’ll take things that never happened because I’m desperate for a pat on the back for $500 Alex,” we bring you Crystal Bertozzi of Wareham.

And now that we’ve seen the duckface dog filter I think we all know where this episode is going.

It wasn’t enough to just make up a story about her 7 and 10 year old kids shoveling 14 inches of snow for random people out of the goodness of their hearts. She would’ve gotten SOME positive feedback for that, but ultimately the only thing worth more than positive feedback is victimhood status. And luckily crackzilla has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR biracial crotch fruits who she can use to make herself the sympathetic charity case for woke folk everywhere.

Just to review, she initially posted that she wanted to have her kids shovel for random people. Five people took her up on this. But one of those five people decided to turn away this free child labor because she didn’t realize she was going to be shoveled out by black kids. Even though if she was really a racist this would be as close to modern day slavery as you could legally get, which would seem to be squad goals for your run of the mill racist.

Luckily her 7 and 10 year old children who randomly shovel 14 inches of snow for strangers had the Solomon-esque wisdom to forgive this man, because he knows not what he does.

Of course people lie like this because dumb people on Facebook believe them.

But not everyone is as hopeless, and Crystal didn’t like their skepticism much at all.

How does one waste their breath typing? What are you ripping Newports with the left hand while spreading wokeness with the right?

Someone asked the obvious question that Crystal could use to prove this happened.

But instead of answering she did the delete and retreat.

But she’s been all over the Quincy, Ma Happenings and Events page in the past. And from the looks of it she was pretending to give back to the community because she’s usually begging strangers for free shit and using her poon polyps as bait.

She would pay for these things herself, but sadly the back alley tittoo artist doesn’t accept food stamps.

Looks like lying is right up her alley based on the Brockton Police blotter….

But it’s cool now because she uses her kids as slave labor to virtue signal on a community Facebook page so she doesn’t feel as guilty when she asks for free stuff. And and she found Jesus and shit.

Girl, stop trippin. You ain’t been to church since you robbed the gift basket and asked for refills on the blood of Christ. Probably.

Clearly the Jussie Smollett fake hate crime hasn’t deterred anyone who was already determined to make up a hate crime for pity and sympathy. Glad to see that we all learned nothing from that whole debacle.


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60 Comment(s)
  • mizzbigbooty92688
    Lost cause
    March 8, 2019 at 7:40 am

    This girl is a joke. Her mother takes care of her and all her kids. If you go on her mother Donna Bertozzis facebook youll see that these kids are beyond taken care of. Crystal was on backpage shooting dope and hoeing, now shes mother of the year making her kids shovel!! Her first baby daddy Daniel fukd her mother and her sister and hes a dope head to. The second baby daddy has his son. And Clayton the sh×t bag who beats her is the father to her 2 youngest and he doesnt do shit for his kids. Crystals mother had all her kids and now i believe just has the oldest. He is a little bastard that runs around Onset all hours of the night swearing and fucn shit up. He needs his ass beat but nobody bothers because there to busy getting high or buying his love. This whole family is fucd. Her sister Brittany Waterman is the same way. Oh Crystal how i love Karma. Your kids are little assholes and your a POS mother.

  • Why
    March 6, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    OT- I know people dislike the word “moist” but I cringe at:
    Tummy (unless it’s used by children or Winnie the Pooh)
    Hubby (so gross)
    Fur babies
    Munchies (when referring to food/ not the “having of” from being high)
    Bae (goes without saying but can’t make the list without it)

  • Bill's Stogie
    March 6, 2019 at 4:59 am

    Jussie Smollett, Virginia’s Ralph Northam, Justin Fairfax, and Mark Herring have disappeared into the ether. Progressives are above the laws applied to others, i.e. rational thinkers. For that matter, what ever happened to Al Gore’s sexual misconduct? When Tipper left his sorry ass i knew there had to be a Clintonesque reason.

  • Dr. Crowder-Lamar
    March 5, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    This chick is WOKE! Change my mind.
    Oh, and facts don’t CARE about your feelings. Sheeeeee-at.

  • Blame feminism
    March 5, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Another benefit of diversity. You think this sperm bank is fixed yet? Fuck no, she’s waiting for the next soul brotha to chat her up so she can spread her legs for him and accept the load, hoping it takes.

  • Hay Zeus
    March 5, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    Does she mean that her children and Jesus (as in, son of God) are her everything, or that her children and Jesus (a hispanic guy) are her everything?

    By the way, post of the day was this one:

    ” “Everyone needs help at some point.”
    Somewhat true, but you seem to need help at all points…Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. “

  • Kim Wescott
    March 5, 2019 at 5:31 pm

    Wait, if she lives in Wareham, what is she doing shoveling people in Quincy? Are there no elderly or disabled folks in Plymouth?

    • I Named my son Herman
      March 5, 2019 at 8:18 pm

      Yeah that was my first thought too.
      Why the fuck would she drive an hour to Quincy in a snow storm to make her kids shovel 14 inches of wet snow???
      Makes no sense at all. I wonder how many different baby’s Daddy’s she be havin?

    March 5, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    My God. What a dirty little semen demon you are. You can see the semon demon deep with in her. They eyes are the windows to the soul. This bird obviously is empty. Lol just kidding, shes not empty, she full of shit & semen. Hahahaahaa I’m fucking dying over here. What a nasty fuck pig. I bet her section 8 den smells of newport’s, southern comfort,
    hennessy, government cheese, dirty diapers & lots & lots of failure.
    Bitch you ain’t no cna stop selling stories! You might have been at one point but definitely are not now. You know how I know you’re not a cna anymore? I know because you have 4 kids you dirty pig. There is no way in hell you’re working full time with 4 kids bitch. If by chance you’re working full time for 13.00 dollars an hour as a cna. You’re welcome! You fucking tick. Go finger fuck your asshole so you can pull out more bullshit you fucking heffer!

    • Kim Wescott
      March 5, 2019 at 5:49 pm

      Even people who have great jobs struggle to pay for childcare, even for one. She’s paying childcare for four? On $13/hour? Plus the night time child care for when she’s at school?

      Somehow this doesn’t make sense. Either she’s got another source of income, or the full time job plus school is questionable.

      Wait, maybe baby daddie stays home with the kids? For free!

      • Hay Zeus
        March 5, 2019 at 6:08 pm

        At least two of the children are school-aged, so child care probably isn’t an issue there. Considering all of the public options for low income people to get free/reduced child care (Head Start, etc.), I am betting child care is not an issue.

    • mizzbigbooty92688
      Lost cause
      March 8, 2019 at 8:02 am

      Shes not a CNA. Shes a HOE. She may have her CNA (which is more than likely expired) but she doesnt work. She sits on her ass and her mother and the dudes shes suckin off take care of her (more her mother than anybody). She has never held a job for more than 2 months except her backpage job!!! She doesn’t even know how to be a mother nevermind a CNA.

  • Where's baby Daddy?
    March 5, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    Ok assuming the post is actually her the I’ll give her credit for working. I don’t give a shit if she’s a CNA, dog catcher, Wal-Mart greeter or cop. She is working and not just sitting home. Once again this is assuming she isn’t lying and actually does work. I still want to know how many fathers, are he/they still around and do they financially support these kids? If not she should be pushing for them to be locked up
    for not paying.

    • Worker bee
      March 5, 2019 at 1:49 pm

      Agree with you there. If she’s truly working hard then welcome to real life…..it can be a struggle.

      If she’s a bum just collecting tax dollars for 25 years then n opinion is completely different

    • JimmyBooms
      March 5, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      I wanna believe she’s good. I’m 40 and can barely take care of myself let alone 4 kids, so I have no problem with asking for help. The only thing that is mak in ng me doubt her is the ” some on ne must of hacked my account and added to my post” I mean come on, Jussie got better ideas than that.

  • Century 21
    March 5, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    Not a good week for property values In Wareham

  • Crystal Bertozzi
    March 5, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    My name is Crystal. The one you are all ranting and raving about. My children were not part of a hate crime whatsoever. Thw beginning of my post is accurate. My post ends at “so important to me!!” I do not know who posted the rest of that post but it was not me!! Mu children have never faced any racial issues in quincy just so we are clear. Would also like to add that i am a mom of 4 biracial kiddos not 4 biracial crotch fruits. We have had a tough life and reaching out through my quincy community has never been something for me to be ashamed of. Everyone needs help at some point. Also, for the record im a CNA and work a full-time job, and in school for my associates degree for social work. I don’t feel any hate towards any of these posts. Upsetting yes, mind boggling that people are so cruel, yes but hatred no. People who matter in my life know the real me. They know the truth. Have a nice day!!

    • Tit Tattoo Artists of Anerica
      March 5, 2019 at 1:18 pm

      That job makes perfect sense for you. Perhaps some OT instead of begging on Facemachine

    • Stone Cold Reality
      March 5, 2019 at 1:20 pm

      Life’s a bitch, especially with four crotch fruits and however many baby daddies.

    • JimmyBooms
      March 5, 2019 at 2:32 pm

      In the least surprising news ever she is a CNA

    • Y
      March 5, 2019 at 3:31 pm

      “Everyone needs help at some point.”
      Somewhat true, but you seem to need help at all points…Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.
      Where is your baby daddy? Why isn’t he contributing, or does he leave the internet panhandling to you?
      Also, you say you’re a CNA; I say no shit..it’s the most fitting source of employment for women with no college degree and plenty of coochie critters.
      Congratulations, you failed at life.

    • Hay Zeus
      March 5, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Bottom line is this – most people with real needs and a sense of responsibility don’t go panhandling, on-line or elsewhere. Panhandling is usually done because (1) that is the handout culture someone grew up in and they know no different, (2) people are lazy scam artists, or (3) the smallest # of cases – people have NO options and things are desperate.
      Trot it on down to the library (free) or use your internet for good, and get some free tips on making and keeping a budget. Pro tip – If you are getting tattoos and your nails done, you COULD be using that money on the things you are begging for others to provide. (Not that Christmas trees and Easter baskets are necessities either.)
      If you got time to post freakshow altered photos of yourself online, you got time to get an additional job…or start selling crap on Ebay to make some extra cash as a stopgap. BTW – how does anyone with FOUR children (especially a “single parent”) spend time on FB ? Who is interacting with your children?

      • Wow
        March 6, 2019 at 7:09 pm

        You can’t be serious saying because she has children she shouldn’t have time to go on FaceBook. That’s absurd.

    • Cousin Eddie
      March 5, 2019 at 7:16 pm

      Sorry Crystal but you wrote the second half as well. The use of the double exclamations and the of occasional all cap words tells me both sections were written by same person.

    • Quincy Boy Born and Bred - Kincaid Park
      March 6, 2019 at 8:24 am

      The old’ someone else wrote the post. WTF Crystal, do you think we are fucking idiots? And why do you have to beg all over Quincy? Ever hear of Child Support Enforcement? Here are the god damn numbers – (800) 332-2733, or (617) 660-1234 for local callers in the Boston area. If you had all four fruits with the same guy, he’ll owe you most of his check every week. If you had them with multiple gravy donors, you could be sitting on a payday. The state will hit each of them for about 25% of their gross (give or take.) How do I know? I’ve paid for one kid who aged out, am paying for another who is 4 years of 18 (also raise a kid solo and see how courts favor females, believe me.) So if you got the energy to pan handling all over Quincy, why not use some of that gumption to get your ass down to the MA CSE Agency and get busy. (A friend of a friend thinks you’re collecting state aid, while housing a dead beat baby daddy. Hope to hell that isn’t true.)

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      March 8, 2019 at 7:12 am

      If this is the real you, and you want money, you have to answer the tough questions. Quid pro quo.

      Where’s your ‘treasures of diversity’ baby daddies? No mention of him (them?) on your Facebook or anywhere.

      How did that diversity work out for you?

      You know the answers, but your pride will never let you answer what we all already know. Statistically, he (or they) are gone and not paying support.

  • Morir that awful shirt that guy was wearing
    March 5, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    I give her until Friday before she reports finding a napkin with a misspelled racist and derogatory phrase scribbled on it with an extremely shaky hand.

  • Bubbles the Monkey
    March 5, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    Stupid honky cunt….

  • Lil Black Sambo
    March 5, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    Anybody know where dey be donatin’ used narcotics? I doans wanna donate nuthin’. Just needs some donatin’s though.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    March 5, 2019 at 11:57 am

    As a woman of color, I know how evil whites can be.

    • Kim Wescott
      March 5, 2019 at 5:37 pm

      EVERY race has its fair share of evil people.

      You don’t need to be specia, or be a Woman of Color to know that.

      • Kim Wescott
        March 5, 2019 at 5:39 pm


  • Y
    March 5, 2019 at 11:56 am

    I’d say she (781) and Franklin would get along, but he’s too light for her (561-5938).

  • A scientist
    March 5, 2019 at 11:46 am

    Every chick named Crystal or Krystal is instant trash. This is a scientific fact.

    • Y
      March 5, 2019 at 12:03 pm

      Born to be stage performers!
      Next up, we have Ms. Behavior.

  • Becky White
    March 5, 2019 at 11:41 am

    God you people. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there will be no reunion episode with Dylan getting married to Brenda. In my heart they are married.

    • z
      March 5, 2019 at 12:32 pm

      Never watched the show myself.

      From what I gather, decent guy, didn’t get his name in the press for being a jack-ass.
      Wasn’t a Jim Carrey type of deranged.

  • JimmyBooms
    March 5, 2019 at 11:18 am

    Next week video comes out of old white woman calling children N word. Turtleboy does a piece on how great a mother Crystal is and all 4 children have 1 father. Stay tuned

    • Liar
      March 5, 2019 at 1:44 pm

      When is the casting taking place for this movie?

      I would probably believe she was a good woman except for the fact that she has a history I making up crimes…..

      Loses quite a bit of credibility with that charge wouldn’t ya say?

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    March 5, 2019 at 11:06 am

    They should’ve known better than to try and shovel Old Man Smolletts driveway. What did they think he was gonna call them? 🙂

    • you are lame
      March 5, 2019 at 1:05 pm

      I know her personally… this is so sad .. I also so the original post ..
      And how it was changed . she never proclaimed anything negative… this is a guy who gets his rocks offf on changing posts and comments and putting some one out there… ya she reaches out to her community for help…. she’s not the only one.. a Christmas tree ??? thrown away after a week and she’s a bad person for that? I love how he post ‘dog filters’ like all of america isn’t doing including his mother .. but as intelligent as his posts are , again it shines through in that statement cause dude…. thats a cat…
      how about a piece of shit scum bag that probably cant get laid or if he does leaves her so highly unsatisfied this is how he deals w his own humility … good job for putting down one of the most caring loving and true good hearted women there are,.. and sorry for you to have to add change and fabricate peoples posts because you are too lame to have real shit to talk about …

      • Hay Zeus
        March 5, 2019 at 6:16 pm

        You actually think that “all of america” alters pictures of themselves so they look like something from “The Island of Dr. Moreau” (look it up), and then post them with pride online?

        Holy cow, society is in worse trouble than we thought.

      • Conservative Carl
        March 5, 2019 at 6:31 pm

        Are you fckin plugged in moron? Whos he u refer too? The article right at the top says it was written by a girl the stupidity amazes me‍♂️‍♂️

  • Lazy Whore
    March 5, 2019 at 11:02 am

    She says she works so hard but can’t make ends meet. I call bs. Sitting on your fat ass 24/7 figuring out ways to maximize public aid along with constant internet panhandling ain’t working. Where are the dad(s)? Where does she work?

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    March 5, 2019 at 10:49 am

    No….. Shes got more anchors than the Titanic.. One look at her and you can see right off she is a giant douche. She gargles with vinegar and water. She’s a Pig Bitch. ” Oink Oink! I need attention! Oink Oink! I use my kids for free stuff! Oink Oink! I need more titoos!” Disgusting pig bitch…

  • z
    March 5, 2019 at 10:38 am

    Does Clayton Bigsby live in Quincy. A blind guy would need someone to shovel the snow.

    • I'm Facing Finance Violations
      March 5, 2019 at 10:46 am

      “Isn’t a shovel a walking stick?”
      — Alexandra Occasional Cortex

    • Y
      March 5, 2019 at 11:59 am

    • Y
      March 5, 2019 at 12:00 pm

  • Big Wick
    March 5, 2019 at 10:36 am

    Tit tats, duck lips, IG dog filters, bare shoulder/armpit crack, four kids (a TEN year old?) and “thank you lol” is all I need to know. Two questions: How recent was that police blotter report (started bearing froots young), and, wtf is with a random “lol”, seemingly inappropriate after a “thank you.”

    • Osiris
      March 5, 2019 at 11:20 am

      She’s 28 now, so a 10 year old is reasonable.

      • Big Wick
        March 5, 2019 at 11:27 am

        Thanks for the clarification, makes sense. BUT… banging out kids right out of HS without studying a “trade” still hinders societal advancement. Of course, it would be different if she were a stay-at-home mom with a hubby providing support.

  • Always Scanning The Horizon
    March 5, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Would she be interested in a fifth crotch fruit? Asking for a fiend.

  • Bill Clinton
    March 5, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Tittytats: check
    fat: check
    niglets: check

    Conclusion: white trash cumdumpster

    • Not Judging But...
      March 5, 2019 at 10:27 am

      Since when did you become picky?

      • Bill Clinton
        March 5, 2019 at 10:41 am

        Just because she’s white trash doesn’t mean I wouldn’t use her as a humidor for my cigar.

        • Bob Kraft
          March 5, 2019 at 10:44 am

          It’d be like pushing a hot dog down a hallway.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    March 5, 2019 at 10:22 am

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again……

    Q: What do you call a white woman who has kids by a black man?

    A: A single mother

  • Karma Bus
    Lying Filter Whore
    March 5, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Does she even LIVE in Quincy? Cause it is mind boggling to me that this freeloader traveled so far to shovel while not charging folks. How’d she pay for gas to do good deeds, yet still begging for handouts? THE FUCK is wrong with this fucking land!

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