Fupalslug Panhandling Burlington Mall Exit on I-95 Falls Asleep Standing Up With Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee Lodged In Her Gerber Servers
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You know that panhandling is getting out of control when the junkboxes start showing up in places like Burlington. And this one particular fupaslug (+1 to the turtle rider who coined that one) is apparently infamous while passing out on the job next to the I-95 South ramp by the Burlington Mall:
And yes, that is a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee lodged between her gerber servers. Looks like she pounded down the one behind her and tossed it on the ground. Not her problem. And isn’t coffee used to, ya know, stay awake? Amazing.
So many things I didn’t know you could do before I saw this picture:
- Sleep standing up
- Use your picasso cubes as a cup holder
- Be hungry and morbidly obese at the same time
- Fall asleep while caffeinating yourself
My question is, where’s she from? Because Burlington is a nice town. No way she lives there. She’s obviously working this corner for the mall traffic, which means she’s an expert in her field who uses market research before setting up shop. Smart lady too, which is probably why she never misses a meal. You get all the idiots heading back to Weston who think they’re making a difference by giving her the cash she needs to get her next fix. Sure beats panhandling in Fall River where people know better and everyone’s broke anyway.
I’m guessing she’s from Billerica. The icky is a sneaky dump town with pockets of swamp donkeys scattered here and there. Could easily be Lowell too. Not sure if there’s a city in Massachusetts with more panhandlers per square inch than Lowell. You gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to get your corner there. And this chick doesn’t look like the type to wake up early for anything except a free crack giveaway.
Anyone know this fupaslug’s name? Bet you it will open a pandora’s box of ratchetry.
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