Hoodrat Heroes

Grammar Moses Starts $10,000 Facebook GoFundMe After Being Released From Barnstable Jail Because CO’s Have Put A Hit Out On Her And She Needs To Leave Town


This is Nicole Sellew from Cape Cod.

She recently was released from jail in Barnstable and wants to raise awareness while also raising money for herself because of what allegedly happened there. So she started this $10,000 Facebook GoFundMe:

This is my interpretation of whatever the hell that was:

  • Her and her sister got locked up
  • While in jail she suffered from physical and mental abuse because prisoners put murder contracts on her head
  • She doesn’t want to name names of who put these murder contracts on her because she ain’t no snitch
  • For that reason she hardly left her cell, and she believes her food was poisoned
  • Something about the unit being connected and friends on the outside.
  • She could sue and make tons of money or go to the “authoritys” but instead she just wants to be “confiscated out of court” (I think she means compensated) for the fear of threats she has, so that she can buy a car and get an apartment in another state where her life is not in danger from…..someone. She can’t say who because she ain’t no snitch
  • She says “Officer Rizzado” claimed that there was jizz in her food and that he later put a contract out for her head
  • Falmouth hospital threatened her on the officer’s behalf
  • Her and her sister need to start this new life together, even though her sister is still in jail
  • She believes the CO is going to have her killed because he’s sleeping with her “so called friend Gina”

That’s what I got out of it, but you might get something completely different. All I know is, I can’t wait for Uncle Turtleboy to read this on live:

I can’t get to much into it without being a rat but I was locked up recently with my sister and i don’t want to get anyone untrouble for the threats and mental and physical mental abuse my sister and I went threw because screws were paranoid and threatened our life’s and turned everyone against us for no reason . People who were supposed to have he a heads on there solders were paranoid , threating murder contracts on us for no reason. I stayed in my cell for the whole time I was there. I was told my food was poisoned. Could not eat sleep .people and agency’s that were supposed to protect us . Had me the scardest I ever was for mine and my sisters life . Little do they know . The whole unit was all connected or friends one the out side but had to keep are mouths shut . I have witness , dates , being brought to another agency threatened . Everyone there’s story’s will match . I came in there healthy looking myself scared to eat or drink water.afraid to be killed and it can all get worse when everyone gets out with the same story . I don’t want to sue , rat or go to the authoritys higher up cause it will all be verified. All us girls are tight on the out side . I just want to be confiscated out of court for the fear threats and traumatize so I can get a cheap car apartment and move out of state and start a new life 

I’ve done a lot of looking into the ones at faults lives and wedont need to go there. Be fair for what u did . Which could be verified but I’m not out to hurt u like u hurt me .I just want to be confiscated out of court. Cause I do have many witness.i I just want to get away from Barnstaple for once and for all and everybody knows about your contacts 10000 let end it in Peace. I never have felt so threatened and everyone should know by know I am not the type to ask for help but what happened the mental and physical abuse for a month being scared to eat or drink cause officer rizz–_– was saying there was men’s sperm in my food. when I was just doing my time . he said he put a contract on my life please I just need help getting far away . I don’t want to press charges. that will work to cause I have witnesses cameras everyone who works there and was held there would have to be brought in to testify but this why he pays without his wife finding out or other consequences. I did not car what was happening. but he was paranoid when I got wind of everything . he had no right to threatened me or my sister and have a jail a Falmouth hospital threatened us . my sister was so scared she had to pretend to be on his side . my whole family knows in case something happens to us. also Google the mental torture that has happened at barnstable house of corrections . and the suicides. I need help getting me and my sister far away we need help with a car and place to live the jail put a hit on our lives and she’s still there I’ve been so scared looking over my shoulder and want a new life away from her were I can start over and be safe as u all knows I have been on Facebook for years I have never asked for help with a penny . I never ask even my family for anything . I truly believe that officer put a murder contract on my head cause he’s sleeping with my so called friend Gina my sister is there till Sept and all the mental abuse he put on me he’s scared I’m gonna tell . I have been followed a Nd scared shitless . I’m gonna have to do something to protect my sister and I if we can’t get away . they things will really get dangerous. if I get killed it was officer rizzado at barnstable he’s having me followed and then at least one people won’t think I’m crazy . they will say she was right.

Holy Grammar Moses.

Either way, get those checkbooks out because this garbage snail trail’s life is in danger. If you need her she’ll be in Boston at a women’s shelter hiding out from the killer CO who has a hit out on her.

Of all the women’s shelters in the state she chose the one on meth mile. And she’s asking for $10,000. Looks like Diego the friendly neighborhood drug dealer will be sending his kids to college after all.

And you can totally trust her with the money, even though her plethora of Google trophies from Lowell, Brockton, Boston, and Cape Cod all have to deal with larceny, bad checks, shoplifting, and drugs.

SELLEW, Nicole, 34, 212 Upper County Road, Dennis; guilty plea to two counts larceny by check of a value more than $250, two counts larceny by check of a value less than $250, Feb. 12, and larceny of a value more than $250 by single scheme, Jan. 9 in Yarmouth, two years probation.

Nicole Sellew, 35, of Poppyonsset Road, Cotuit; default warrants for larceny by check under $250 and shoplifting over $100.

It’s cool though because she was clean for a fortnight back in 2015.

But the real reason she’s staying in Boston isn’t to be near the best heroin, it’s because law enforcement in the south shore is setting her up for a “hudge” crime. Most likely spying.

The Stink Panther is basically in the CIA at this point. Looks like the people watching over her have hacked her Facebook account too:

Although I think this is the time she wasn’t hacked.

If she’s really strapped for cash then someone should tell her call up Bob Kraft. He’ll give her at least $75, plus tip!


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26 Comment(s)
  • Concerned
    July 10, 2019 at 2:01 am

    I heard the poor grammar girl got hit by a bus and died!
    Anyone have more info?

    • Mini wheats
      September 25, 2020 at 9:38 pm

      Dead as a door nail! Rip bump on a log

  • Nicole Sellew
    June 13, 2019 at 2:08 am

    Hi it’s me , I really don’t care what any of you people say . None of u know 2 shits about me . I am happy to be sober now . We did not deserve what happened in there . Can one of u girls that were there please admit what happened . I know at least one of my girls can verify what I went threw . I don’t speak bad about no one . I mind my business and yes I used to get high . If u see me around now u will be able to tell I’m clean
    Sticks and stones may brake my bones but names will never hurt me . If u were raised by a drug dealer single dad that feed u drugs u would have no change either Google my dad who raised me Robert sellew .he’s my dad and I loved him but he ruined something that probly been great . So don’t judge till u walked in my shoes . And I have no reason to lie I’m sick of people bullying me and hurting my heart . Peaseout u all are heartless and souless what are u trying to hurt me so bad I kill myself . U will never kill my love and soul

    • Just another clown at the circus
      June 13, 2019 at 12:53 pm

      Nicole just drop all this crazy shit about being tortured in jail. It’s nonsense and it only gets in the way of your sobriety. Keep going with this clean life thing. Shit will slowly get better for you. Good luck

    • Well, No Shit
      June 13, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      You; “I really don’t care what any of you people say…”
      Also you; “…what are u trying to hurt me so bad I kill myself…”

      If you kill yourself over reading words on the internet, said by a bunch of people who should mean nothing to you, you’re in need of some serious mental help. Who gives a shit what any of us say about you? Do we really matter to you?

      Maybe check yourself into a psych ward for a little while, stay off the internet, and learn to cope with criticism from complete strangers.

      Best of luck.

      January 16, 2020 at 1:56 pm


  • CantMakeThisIshUp
    May 23, 2019 at 1:52 pm

    I was in Barnstable with her. Her crazy sorry ass was screaming about how Interpol was killing two sisters, CIA, the guards were raping her at night… detoxing off of EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET is a bitch, huh? Make you see shit. Just plain crazy.

  • Yo
    May 14, 2019 at 3:03 am

    Great reading ! I am a Barnstable CO , have soo many questions! Who is Rizz- Rizzado ? We all wear name tags so I should know this dude
    Please keep posting baby girl.

  • The Candy Man's gone bitches!
    May 12, 2019 at 11:35 pm

    I hope she gets her act together and goes on to live a fruitful life. Rock bottom is a bitch that only a few survive.

  • Mahky Mahk Ballbag
    May 12, 2019 at 11:06 pm

    A product of Cape Cod’s public schools no doubt…

  • Gir
    May 12, 2019 at 5:03 am

    Maybe she can sell ad space on that billboard of a fivehead.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 11, 2019 at 9:24 am

    Got news for ya sweets. Those piercings aren’t cutting it. The only thing that would make you attractive is a tractor trailer truck head on at 65 miles an hour.

  • The angry taint
    That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow
    May 10, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    ARRRGH! Mes thought my hairline was receding a tad but after seeing this wenches dome mes feeling better

  • marilu
    May 10, 2019 at 10:01 am

    Where the fck was this bitch really locked up? Lmao she’s making it sound like Guantanamo or something & I highly doubt that

  • Gash Basher
    May 10, 2019 at 9:02 am

    I can smell the newports and hairspray through the screen

  • whatevuh
    May 10, 2019 at 6:20 am

    that forehead is more like a 5 or 6 head

    • Titleist Golf Balls
      May 10, 2019 at 4:08 pm

      Actually we’ve copied her forehead, added some dimples and came up with the new Titleist Max Fly Ghetto V

      320 yards consistently off the tee

  • Captain Trips
    She Swallows My Seed ah
    May 9, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    She needs another load doctor.

  • Marge 89.7
    May 9, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    She is sadly a fallriver guttermuppet teammate

  • The Grammar Nazi
    May 9, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    You got that right, Merri, “Grammar Moses.” At least she used some punctuation, but, gawd, that was almost as painful to read as hoodbooger and ratchet sentagraphs… but entertaining nonetheless.

    I wish you Turtle Writers were able to give us updates on some more of your subjects. Especially those who end up at Incarceration R Us.

  • Seed bag
    May 9, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    She actually had a status “sucking some dick”? WTF? You can’t make this shut up. I wouldn’t screw her with Lizzie Warren’s husbands dick..

  • Panda
    May 9, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Start a GoFundMe to set up a “hit” on her.

  • Just me
    May 9, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    , I should be driving home. But I couldn’t stop reading, shaking my head, and laughing. Please spare us all and get the hell of of Massachusetts!

  • Crazy is as Crazy Does
    May 9, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    She can share an apartment with Metro’s crazy wife. They can start a spider farm and it play with their poo poo

  • Mr. Bubba
    May 9, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    Train wrecks are the best wrecks.

  • Well, No Shit
    May 9, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    First, “Stink Panther” had me fucking dying! Pure gold!

    Second, one could only hope that someone actually HAS put a hit out on her. The world would immediately become a better place if the hit was completed.

    Third, without even scrolling down to the end, I fucking KNEW this bitch was a mudshark. She has that look.

    Last, spare the Narcan on this one. Just let this Box o’ Junk go peacefully.

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