Hoodrat Heroes

Grand Theft Mulatto Gets Confronted On Facebook By Ratchet Cum Donkey He Robbed Who Then Vowed To Fight His Entire Ratchet Criminal Family



NBCA 19-year-old man and three juveniles have been arrested for breaking into cars in Warwick and stealing “thousands” in merchandise. Police told NBC 10 News that Austin Duarte, of Foster, along with the trio of minors, whose ages range from 15 to 17, were charged with felony receiving stolen goods and conspiracy. Authorities said they received a call from a resident around 2:20 a.m. who reported seeing four people breaking into cars on Norwood Avenue.

“This resident was watching them walk around the area looking into cars and shining lights inside of them,” police told NBC 10 in an email. “The caller even saw them carrying items back to their vehicle that was parked nearby and place items inside of the trunk.”

Police took a description of the car and later stopped it nearly on Elmwood Avenue in Cranston. Not only did police find the four suspects, they discovered at least 14 items that they believed were stolen. Items ranged from laptops, iPads, digital recorders, a Sony camera, photography accessories, plus three pair of Nike basketball sneakers, an amplifier, two welding machines, a drill, sunglasses, and a car stereo system. Police said while the total value is unknown at this point, they estimate “it is in the thousands.”

You know you’ve got life by the balls when your criminal enterprise crew is you and a bunch of 15 year olds stealing iPads out of cars in War-wack at 2 in the morning. Someday, if he can sell enough stolen Jordan’s on Craigs List, he’ll be able to do something about the briar patch growing on his head, which no doubt is filled with corn starch, Goya products, and broken dreams. But you wouldn’t know that by looking at Grand Theft Mulatto’s Facebook page. He always keeps it 100.

Young n word on a mission to ALWAYS have change for a $20 and a bag of shitty weed hanging on his crotch. As can be seen from his glamour shots, his angry, tough guy demeanor of always throwing the middle finger or unidentified gang signs up when he doesn’t have a wad of $5 bills to display, is paying dividends.

You know that you’re basically Scarface when you’re posing on top of coin operated washing machines in the basement of project housing.

Or on the trash covered stairway leading up to a slumlord’s Section 8 apartment where Diego the friendly neighborhood crack dealer is diluting his product because junkies can’t call consumer affairs.

So much winning.

Things got really interesting on Grand Theft Mulatto’s Facebook page on a post he made prior to the big heist in War-Wack.


Posted by Austin Duarte on Sunday, October 11, 2020

It began when someone showed up and called him out for allegedly being a “pussy ass wankster 100 emoji smokin on beasters probably too” after running away from a man carrying an AR-15.

This is a very serious charge in the hoodbooger community, and one that cannot be allowed to slid. At the time Grand Theft Mulatto was in jail so he could not reply, but his pa dukes Jason Cardoso was there to defend his son’s honor.

The quest to determine who is the biggest hardo in Rhode Island never ends. There are just too many contenders. All I know is, no one’s fucking with this guy.

Nobody. He drives trucks now, but at any moment he can get old school on yo ass.

Jason Cardoso has clearly trained his son to take over the family business for him, based on the ample amount of Google trophies in his name. Except unlike his son he commits robberies in broad daylight, but only gets $135 from the clerk at CVS after holding a knife to his throat.

Attorney General Peter F. Kilmartin announced that on Friday, a Providence County Superior Court jury found Jason Cardoso (age 34) of North Providence guilty of first degree robbery. The jury returned the verdict after less than one hour after a four-day trial presided over by Superior Court Justice Luis Matos. During the course of the trial, the State proved that on June 26, 2013, at approximately 6:00 p.m. Cardoso robbed the cashier of a CVS store located at 1919 Mineral Spring Avenue in North Providence using a knife, stealing $135.

Despite the conviction Daddy Dope Fiend was undeterred and continued to commit crimes upon his release, which included arrests for possession of drugs in a school zone, being a fugitive from justice, and driving under the influence.

In fairness, these sorts of crimes are actually signs of improvement, because back in the day he was more into domestic assault, felony assault with a dangerous weapon, and drug dealing.

Oh, and he’s been sued by multiple health insurance companies and healthcare providers.

Additionally, he has appeared in court with what appears to be Grand Theft Mulatto’s mother, who had him paternity tested.

Kim Duarte is another great role model for her semen demon, and totally does not look like the chick that you have to bukkake in order to get initiated into the neighborhood iPad theft gang.

Not at all. And yes, I am as confused as you are about how two white people could produce what appears to be a Puerto Rican Lonzo Ball. It’s better if you just don’t ask any questions.

This Bukkake Banjo has her priorities in line for her son.

You can call her son a thief, a degenerate, a drug dealer, or point out that he clearly has never been introduced to conditioner. But don’t you DARE accuse him of being a pussy. Momma don’t play.

It should be pointed out that this clan of hoodrats lives in Foster, RI, which is basically an extension of the Appalachian style living that occurs in neighboring eastern Connecticut. Some may argue that you can’t be a gangsta if you live in a place that doesn’t have Wifi, but Grand Theft Mulatto has an iPhone and knows how to get to Waraq, so things are about to change in Foster.

In this ratchet tale the victim turned out to be just as ratchet as the ratchet who robbed him. That would be Joshua Hall from Conventry (originally from the mean streets of Jewett City, CT). 

As you can tell from the chinstrap and flat brimmed hat, he is the wrong n word to trifle with. First thing he had to do was establish his street cred with Mom and Dad.

“I’ve done more bids than bitches u fucked” might be top 5 ratchet lines of all time, but it’s still disputed by Daddy Dope Fiend.

And although the Coventry Cum Donkey is a self described “quite boy” from the boonies, he once lived in Hartford so he’s the last person Grand Theft Mulatto wanted to rob.

He ain’t just a regular gangsta either though. He got a college degree, avoids using the letter W qhenever possible, and you would know if this Connecticut because no one fucks with him there due to his massive bank account.

He’s also lost just one fight and played D1 football.

Daddy Dope Fiend was unimpressed by the Coventry Cum Donkey’s selfie skills.

But Josh works 2 jobs, has a 6 figure bank account, and is “heavily in stocks,” so at the end of the day he wins.

Next time you take his cell phone charger out of the 98 Civic it’s not gonna end well for you!

The only person in the fam who hadn’t defended Grand Theft Auto’s honor at this point was his sister, who of course is named Jade. And like 99% of girls named after colors or seasons, Jade’s life goals are to become a stripper and bare a male child out of wedlock who she will refer to as “my King.”

Jade had a lot to say.

And finally Grand Theft Mulatto got bailed out by the Rhode Island Bail Fund and showed up to join the fun himself.

But again, little did he know that he was fucking with a D1 safety who owns 13 shotguns.

Two things are certain to come out of this:

  1. Grand Theft Mulatto will think twice before breaking into cars in War-wack again
  2. At some point in the not so distant future Daddy Dope Fiend and Grand Theft Mulatto will be the first father son duo out of Fosters to share a jail cell.


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31 Comment(s)
  • shipyardjay
    Somerville kid
    December 13, 2020 at 1:41 am

    That Lonzo Ball drop was more clutch than Lonzo himself will ever be! You win the internet for the week with that!

  • shipyardjay
    December 13, 2020 at 1:39 am

    The hair comments were SO incredible through. Oh man. I was crying. And then the “Jade breakdown” was also hold. Grand Theft Mulatto has to be one of your finest mantras. I’m so glad you’re out here. We need you. We really do. I can’t wait to wear my hoodie, tshirt and hat. I’m on board dude. The best.

    December 8, 2020 at 10:52 pm


  • Hu Fartted
    November 20, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    Thank God we have slums where this trash can reside. However if that asshole biden has his way, he’ll be packing them up and shipping them a nice suburban neighborhood near you.

  • Can you bring me my chapstick?
    November 20, 2020 at 7:36 am

    Kid looks like the spic version of Napoleon Dynamite. Hah.

  • Turtle Rider
    November 20, 2020 at 7:16 am

    Throat rape.
    Fist rape.
    Cock slap.
    Chest dump.

  • North of the Border
    November 19, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    Gotta love FB ratchet battles, if only because it reminds us no matter how shitty my life becomes, I’ll still be better off than those miserable cocksuckers.

    Fuck it. Nuke em till they glow, then shoot em in the dark.

  • Cheddah
    November 19, 2020 at 7:54 pm

    Rhode Island and Florida seem to be similar in many ways…

    • lol @ people who bought expensive houses when they get laid off soon
      November 19, 2020 at 10:11 pm

      I don’t understand how all of them have the inability to spell basic words.

      Clearly this is the fault of teachers not being paid enough.

  • Uncle Peckerhead
    November 19, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    Looks like she hooked up with Borat to get that dirty q-tip!

  • Charlie Baker
    November 19, 2020 at 5:54 pm

    Everyone mentioned in this article should be drowned in a sewage pit, I’m so disappointed with them.

  • Done with this shit
    November 19, 2020 at 5:07 pm

    Has no one in Rhode Island ever learned how to spell? I did notice one thing – Austin is prettier than his mother and sister. They’re gonna love him up at MCI

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    November 19, 2020 at 5:00 pm

    I appreciate that Austin throws up the “0” sign to remind everyone how much pussy he gets

  • German Porn Fan
    November 19, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    In zee sweats it looks like he peed a little. No, he peed a lot.

  • Guinea Geisha
    November 19, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    Once upon a time there was a young boy who came home from school one day and said: “Mama, I have the biggest dick in the whole 3rd grade. Is it because I’m black?” And she said: “Nah n*ggah, it’s cuz you 19.”

  • Captain Trips
    Say No to Nogs
    November 19, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Have sex with some moolie named Ramone
    Get 18 years of raising a child alone

  • JoeMomma
    November 19, 2020 at 2:49 pm

    Why do they always give the sign showing how big their dick is in photo’s?

  • Woodsie
    November 19, 2020 at 2:49 pm

    All yall hoodboogers just got the word to drive out to Jefferson ma and Rob cars on his street. And if he gets robbed who cares. Probably some over privileged honky who was born and raised in a family that new how to exploit every inch of the system and complains about it.

  • Captain Ron
    November 19, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    This dude looks like a long lost Ball brother.

  • Rich
    November 19, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    This stuff is dizzying…..

  • Judge dread
    November 19, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    The picture of that chick with her tongue out- yah a little bit of white tongue going on there…. that means you haven’t brushed or have done mad drugs. Years ago one of my friends who was NYPD when I lived in soho manhattan he told me if people have white tongues it means they are on drugs or are drug users. That is why, he told me, they ask you to stick out your tongue.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    November 19, 2020 at 1:27 pm

    We would probably be colonizing mars and all have flying cars by now if people like everyone in this blog didn’t exist.

    • Highrise hater
      November 19, 2020 at 1:49 pm

      Recommending you go to Mars, since you don’t need oxygen here you won’t need it there!

  • lolololol
    November 19, 2020 at 1:10 pm

    I could kick Duarte’s ass with both hands tied behind my back! got to throw an Eazy-E quote in here:

    “Talkin ’bout who you gone squabble with and who ya shoot
    You’re only 60 pounds when yer wet and wearin boots”

    • Judge dread
      November 19, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      He is also a dude that has tons of weapons at his disposal and a pseudo good spec ops force…. our shit dwarfs him by far, but he does have his capabilities- do not every forget that. If he wants to fuck shit up, he will do it.

  • Highrise hater
    November 19, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    They all voted for Biden and cumella but don’t know it!!

  • bloop
    November 19, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    If these two aren’t careful they’re going to end up in a highway rest stop jerking each other off soon. Gay pornos aren’t this level of gay.

  • Sir Reginald Pumpenstein
    November 19, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Kinda wanna see Jade’s OnlyFans…
    Anyone know if she does glory hole?

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      November 19, 2020 at 1:16 pm

      Just don’t kiss her on the mouth. Probably has several dudes pubes stuck in those braces.

      A quick question. Where’s the Ghanaian that fathered the kid? Oh, never mind, stupid question.

      • Jade
        November 22, 2020 at 12:36 pm

        Stfuuu bitch

    • Jade
      November 22, 2020 at 12:34 pm

      Bitch stfu I don’t have an only fans

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