Breaking News: Grandma Hog Jockey, whose daughter was recently arrested by Worcester Police for robbing an old folks home and assaulting three staff members, has issued an official press release about the story she was featured in.
Let’s ATTEMPT to deconstruct this amazing piece of ratchet pie.
“someone screen shot this to mr turtle man!! if that picture of my 14 year old MINOR CHILD ISNT REMOVED THE ONLY PLACE HES GONNA BLOG FROM IS SOTTING WITH LANNA SINCE HE LOVES HER SO MUCH,”
Translation – Turtleboy is going to jail
I assume Lanna is her daughter, the one who is in jail for assaulting employees at an old folks home and stealing a purse.
According to Grandma Hog Jockey I’m going to jail because I posted a picture of her 14 year old daughter? I definitely posted pictures of what appear to be older images of her currently incarcerated son (based on Facebook comments on this picture).
Along with some of her inspirational quotes about her love of dong.
But I don’t see any 14 year old semen demons on the blog. I also don’t think I’ll be able to blog in jail, as I would imagine the wifi connection blows.
“OH AND THAT LAWSUIT WONT BE SAVED BY OPINIONS CAUSE NOT EVEN THE LAW CAN POST A MINOR CHILD.”
Welp, it’s in ALL CAPS, so it must be important. But using my fluency in Ratchetese I believe this sentence is supposed to suggest that she plans on filing a lawsuit, and that I won’t be able to use the legal defense that my speech is opinion, because posting pictures of an imaginary 14 year old is against the law.
This story is developing.
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