Hoodrat Heroes

Grandma Holyoke Hoodbunny Defends Ratchet Grown Ass Daughter For Going To Grand-Crotch Fruits Charter School To Try To Smash Into Teenagers With Her Car

 

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What do you do when your crotch fruit tells you that she’s being bullied at school? Well, if you’re from Holyoke the correct answer is apparently to drive to the school, act as ratchet as possible, try to fight a bunch of children, and then intentionally smash your car into another car in order to intimidate said children who are just trying to get the fuck out of of there.

The school is called “Social Justice Charter School.”

Can’t make shit stuff up folks.

My favorite part of the police report was this:

Ofc Montanez went to advise the mom on her options of filing a report, and criminal charges on those that hit her daughter. She replied that she was not filing a report, and that she was going to go to the house and “f*** those b****es up.”

She was advised not to do that.

Excuse Miss, I understand your inner Holyoke is telling you that it’s the right thing to follow a bunch of teenagers back to their house and give them the hoodrat helicopter, but we would strongly advise you to go ahead and not do that. Thank you.

Don’t say she didn’t warn y’all this was gonna happen though.

So just to recap. She found out at 8 PM that her daughter was allegedly jumped at school. Not from the principal or the police, but from her poon polyp’s friend. And naturally instead of being an adult and calling the school she decided to take the law into her own hands by going down to the school to try out for a World Star hip hop video and tell the cops “bitch you got nothing on me.”

Seems like a well thought out plan indeed.

The Holyoke Hoodbunny briefly showed up in the comments on the Chicopee Police Department’s Facebook page, but ended up deactivating before we could get any screenshots. Luckily Grandma Hoodbunny doesn’t believe in the delete and retreat, and she’s had quite enough of the fatties picking on her granddaughter.

Nothing says dindu nuffin quite like fat shaming a bunch of kids in order to defend your ratchet grown ass daughter, and your future ratchet in training granddaughter. Grandma don’t play.

If you’re a grandmother who does duckface AND cat filter, you’ve probably spawned someone who has been featured in a Turtleboy blog.

Her granddaughter is a teenager and they live in Holyoke, so science tells us that she’ll be a great grandmother by the time I hit the publish button.

She may only be in her early 50’s, but that’s at least 142 in Holyoke years. Ya look great girl!

I know when I go to Grandma’s house I usually find a bunch of trap queens passing around bottles of Tequila while yelling “mira, mira, mira” over and over and over again.

Should’ve cursed those fatties a thousand pigs!

I thought we all could agree that a mother using a car as a weapon to intimidate a bunch of children was a bad thing, but I forgot how the rules work in Holyoke. All the dog filters agree that Mom couldn’t have possibly done anything differently.

Keep in mind, the Holyoke Hoodbunny took absolutely ZERO STEPS in addressing any alleged bullying that was happening in the school. She didn’t call the school and set up a meeting, or even write an email. A kid called her up talking shit and that was all she needed to hear before she was ready to finna catch dis case.

Hey ladies, I know you think this is all normal because your idea of a hot date is getting T-boned in the back of a 97 Civic, but outside of Holyoke we’re all laughing at the burning piles of trash you call life.

Oh, and just for good measure – Mom’s apparently pregnant.

She ain’t afraid to catch a case OR catch a nut either. Because….fuck birth control. Creampie, it’s what’s for dinner.

 

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38 Comment(s)
  • Dame Judi Dench
    November 17, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    35 years old with a 50 year old mother and a daughter in hs. That’s as Holyoke as Holyoke gets. Puerto Rico on the river!

    • Dank Booty Stench
      November 17, 2019 at 5:13 pm

      Rabbit-like breeders, they are… Rabbits are cleaner and taste better, though.

  • Aspiring Baby Daddy
    November 14, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    This was a fanstastic article, capped by the greatest term of all-times: “the hoodrat helicopter”.
    BWAGAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
    Freaking gold.

  • Family of Trannies
    November 14, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    Holy Moses, what a collection of uggos.

    Hustler Rating: The Underside of John Kerry’s Nutsack

  • Sad hombres
    November 14, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    The North End of Spfld., West End of Chicopee and Holyoke are all lined up like cell blocks. God forbid you wander off any of those exits. Absolute crap-o-Rama.

  • Ratchet Rollins D.A.
    November 14, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    Dis be dey culture and I wont prosecute. Infact when Ayanna Elvis Pressley gets her criminal reform bill passed. This will be commonplace and unprosecutable. Roo Roo third world here we come dawg.

  • Captain Trips
    November 14, 2019 at 11:36 am

    “Paulo Freire Social Justice Charter School”

    This is TOO RICH for words!

    Imagine the administration there, consisting of horn rim glass wearing grey frizzy haired hemp-clothed white SJW’s who are “helping the downtrodden”; and at the end of their work day they fire up their Mercedes and burn rubber right back to Longmeadow before it gets dark in Holyoke.

    It’s just too funny.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      November 14, 2019 at 3:22 pm

      Mercedes? Prius, my friend. The Social Justice Charter School…well, what can I say that the title of that school doesnt already scream? Reprobate Training Camp is a better moniker for that place.

  • R Lee Ermey
    November 14, 2019 at 10:52 am

    As someone who has had a relative featured here…all i can say is WTF is wrong with people? These Queefstains don’t belong in a civilized society. Send them back to which every dirty island they came from.

    As for my relative…he’s probably guilty AF and I was glad to see him end up on here like the maggot he is.

    • Yo Quiero Taco Bell!
      November 14, 2019 at 11:24 am

      A SJW once told me that diversity brings with it many gifts; well, the gifts just keep on coming!

  • don
    November 14, 2019 at 10:30 am

    cannot deport fast enough. post all the deportations on live tv so the country can know just whats going on behind closed doors. let us see that the country is actually deporting these jumpers

  • Y
    November 14, 2019 at 10:19 am

    Build. The. Fucking. Wall.

  • Borat
    November 14, 2019 at 9:51 am

    “My mother oldest woman in Kusek. She ah 43 years old”

  • Aristotle Onassis
    November 14, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Why isn’t this mama san weaving baskets in some Guatemalan jungle? Because we have welfare and Chicopee. Just another productive immigrant enjoying the American dream……..financed by the taxpayer!

  • Looks like a duck...
    November 14, 2019 at 7:56 am

    The stereotype seems to be true

  • Time For Some Reality
    November 14, 2019 at 7:30 am

    If nasty cat litter had a face, granny would be it.

    On another note, take a look at the responses from all the latina/o trash. Hispanics generally don’t give a fuck about rules/laws/regulations, etc. Look at the cunt Lorrayanna or however the fuck you spell that cunt’s name. Watch “Cops” and/or “Live PD” and you will see lots of hispanics doing whatever the fuck they want. Read your local news outlets, you will see hispanics dominate crime stories on a daily basis. They are the major players in the drug trade. Take a look at how all the Banana Republics are run – completely lawless from the top down, including that shithole island. Are there good hispanics? Yes, but they are far and few between. The rest are criminals or support criminal behavior. Is it a wonder why most Americans want them the fuck out of here?

  • scumbag
    November 14, 2019 at 7:19 am

    Hispanic scum

  • megamortus
    November 14, 2019 at 6:29 am

    “ I know when I go to Grandma’s house I usually find a bunch of trap queens passing around bottles of Tequila while yelling “mira, mira, mira” over and over and over again.”

    “ Her granddaughter is a teenager and they live in Holyoke, so science tells us that she’ll be a great grandmother by the time I hit the publish button.”

    Pure comedy gold! I’m dying right now.

  • Thank God for Viregn Figueroa
    November 14, 2019 at 5:14 am

    The one sane person in that FB thread, otherwise everybody jumps in behind Grandma.

    People of Holyoke: be more like Virgen Figueroa, she is talking sense!

    • TortugaNiño
      November 14, 2019 at 4:05 pm

      probably the only “virgen” above 12 in her hood too.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    November 14, 2019 at 4:33 am

    Now this is the kind of story that made TB famous! More of this street rat stuff please! These are Feral Pig Bitches that escaped the woods and are now rooting around in the real world. I bet grandma grunts when she gets slammed. What a bunch of benefit draining wastes of life. And we are paying the bills for them. Oink! Oink! Pig Bitches gone wild!

  • Silencio Dogood
    November 14, 2019 at 2:28 am

    i always dress my best for basement parties, they have a Charlestown Silver Box Saloon ambiance, where you can fat shame cursed pigs. is social justice the karma for our sins or liberal blindness in leaving our doors open?

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 13, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    One word…

    • Y
      November 14, 2019 at 10:23 am

      Excellent work.

  • Liawatha
    November 13, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    They are a very animated and spirited people.

    • Liawatha
      November 13, 2019 at 10:24 pm

      Our newly adoptive citizens, with their intricate culture, only make us stronger.

    • Rod Ramsey
      November 13, 2019 at 10:29 pm

      I believe the word you’re looking for is passionate.

  • Fed Up
    November 13, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    It is way past time to end all bennies for these gimmidats.

  • Paulo Freire Social Justice Charter School
    November 13, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Before I moved to New England 2 decades ago, I pictured scenic windy roads, nice houses, well manicured subdivisions, beautiful ponds and streams, friendly and helpful neighbors, etc.
    It turns out that was just in the movies. This here is reality. Every second rate city or large town has the same type of people causing the same type of problems. I blame the democrats entirely.

    • JJ
      November 14, 2019 at 7:49 am

      I think you were watching too much chronicle my friend! Nothing is ever like they portray it on the Boob. Unless it is in fact the hood that’s the only thing that is not a fantasy!
      Me personally, my next investment I think is going to be an island in the middle of no where. I think it’s high time to homested and chill! They ruined cali and are all moving out of that state to go fuck up the others. Look at texas now, same old liberal song and dance.

      • Y
        November 14, 2019 at 10:22 am

        JJ, check out Owen Benjamin; he’s all about homesteading now.

        • JJ
          November 14, 2019 at 12:38 pm

          hahaha that’s awesome. I definitely will old friend thanks for the heads up. He is one funny dude!

          If you have a chance, check out Brittany Huges (think that’s how you spell her last name) on mrctv. Actually check out mrctv in general! they have some great people there. I think you will like her a lot.

          Have a great day!

    • Jack Straw from Wichita
      November 14, 2019 at 9:54 am

      Holyoke is the Lawrence of Western Mass. Another Democrat created, owned, and operated shit hole.

    • TheCureForHope
      November 21, 2019 at 1:20 am

      Northern NH still provides that old fashioned NE life. Just get north of Franconia Notch, and it’s like life in the 50’s.

      So glad I escaped MA.

  • Dick Trickle
    November 13, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    I have nothing to say about this story, other then I’m changing my name on TB to Paulo Freire Social Justice charter school

    • Fed Up
      November 13, 2019 at 10:06 pm

      It’s all in the name ain’t it?

  • JJ
    November 13, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Nothing says x mas in the hood like having it in the basement of the projects you live in… This story got it all.. sorry but grandma hood bunny is not 50, she is probably only 37 but looks 50 from all the henny and Newport’s she buys with her ebt card.

  • bigdaddy
    November 13, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    I am going to cross off Holyoke off my list of vacations choices

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