Update: People are saying that this is not the Leominster Popeye’s, and that the upstanding individual who posted it just used a Snapchat filter. Regardless, the opinions expressed about Fitchburg and Popeye’s in general remain the same. It’s just satire folks.

I’ve never eaten at a Popeye’s before, because I’m not a fupasloth. When I want fast food fried chicken I go to Chick Fil-A like a civilized human being. And this video (which was alleged to have been at the Leominster Popeye’s but is actually another Popeye’s) is why.

Honestly, I can understand why people thought this was Leominster. Those booty short in October had Fitchburg written all over it.

Look, if you give Gravy Schumer sweet and sour sauce when she specifically asked for honey mustard, odds are she’s gonna throw it back in your face. That’s just science.

Gravy Schumer vastly underestimated what would happen when she chose to do that too. She probably thought, “these ho’s are working, so they can’t do shit to me if I throw this sweet and sour sauce at her face.”

Wrong.

Shotput Sherry led the charge and smacked that bitch in the face.

In a normal world the other employees would jump in and pull her off because this is a place where children come to eat shitty, processed chicken. But again, this is Popeye’s in the hood, so every employee working had to drop what they were doing to give Gravy Schumer a ride on the hoodrat helicopter.

Even the manager in the blue shirt was getting in on it. Gravy Schumer might’ve been able to get away with a stunt like that in Wendy’s, but when you throw a sweet and sour sauce in a Popeye’s, you best be ready to get your ass beat.

I think the most ratchet person of all of them was the guy who shared the video and said it was happening in Leominster.

When every single picture you’ve ever posed for necessitates an obligatory middle finger at the camera.

You know you done gone full ratchet. Same goes for copious usage of 100 emojis, obscure references about freeing your degenerate friends from bondage, random pictures of the homies holding bottles of Henny, and Facebook posts glamorizing your likely not too distant death so you can die a “real nigga.”

Shocking he seems to be from Fitchburg. I was gonna guess Lancaster.

You know where people like this never go? Chick Fil-A. It’s the Whole Foods of fast food. You build those in your town and the shitheads stay away like it’s kryptonite.

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