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The MGM Grand in Springfield has been open for about a month now. I’ve always been pro-casino. It’s the easiest way for the state to raise tax money without
raping molesting stealing from the taxpayers. Connecticut has way nicer stuff than Massachusetts because they have two casinos that probably pay billions of dollars to the state in taxes alone. People go to casinos on their own accord, they spend money recklessly by playing against statistical house odds that will all but guarantee defeat the longer you play, and they’re cool with it. Casinos also provide jobs for people and might even stimulate the local economy by bringing people to Springfield who would normally avoid Springfield like the plague.
With that said, Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun work because they’re in the middle of nowhere. The ratchets from Worcester, Providence, New Haven, and Hartford are all at least an hour an away. But the problem we knew would happen with a Springfield casino is the crotch creatures can walk there on the first of the month and blow their section 8 money by aimlessly pressing a button on a machine as the old lady with the oxygen tank next to them blows Parliament Light smoke into their face. That’s why it only took two weeks for a local deep fried dindu nuffin to get arrested for stabbing someone.
What the hoodbooger express doesn’t understand is that casinos play by different rules. All the rights you think you have in the real world no longer exist the moment you step onto their property. They can kick you out for any reason, and they don’t fuck around.
One of the people who found this out the hard way is Anthony Coleman, AKA “Real Star Buckz,” an aspiring rapper from Hartford.
As you can see he raps about really original things, like money, cash, cars, and hoes, often at the same time.
Shockingly there are still tickets available to every show he has ever been paid in Hennessy to headline for:
His smash single is called “Side bitch” and it basically sounds like McGruff the Crime Dog trying to sing a nursery rhyme while being molested by a Catholic priest. Obviously a lot of thought was put into the lyrics:
I’ve literally never seen such themes in a rap song:
He’s obviously talented, original, and creative.
The song is called “side bitch.” As in, “not my down ass ho.” She’s the backup plan. According to him she, “help me chop the haul” (breakup large quantities of drugs into smaller packages for sale on the streets), “help me take a charge,” (confess to a crime that he committed in order to avoid snitching), and “she even do it all, and then she suck my dick.”
So what am I missing here? Why can’t he commit to this woman? It’s not easy to find a down ass ho that will help you chop the haul, take a charge, AND give you a basket sandwich while driving. I think it’s time to promote this classy jizzmuppet from side bitch to down ass ho. I mean, no offense dude, but your grills make you look like you have braces on. And wupupwitdat saliva?
Not baller bro. Just sayin.
By the looks of his Facebook page he has reproduced and odds are his son owns at least four pairs of Jordan’s, because….priorities. Luckily you can pay child support in Benjamins and ice in Hartford.
Speaking of Michael Jordan, take a wild guess who his favorite sportball team is….
The flat brimmed hat must be in the wash.
Anyway, Star Buckz found out the hard way the other night that he’s not allowed to roll up in the casino with a hood on. When he refused to comply with their order to take it off he was escorted off of the property. Obviously he saw this as an opportunity to go hoodrat viral and possibly get some new side bitches to follow him on IG, so he caused a scene, refused to leave, resisted arrest, and then whined about racism:
Best part of the video was 6:00:
“Hey cash money, where’s your cahhhh?”
As you can see Star Buckz and his presumed side bitch who was filming the encounter found out the hard way that they don’t have the same rights on MGM property that they do selling cheap shwagg on Main Street. They can pretty much do whatever they want, and quite frankly they were patient with him.
But Star Buckz don’t play that. No one disrespects him:
So instead of just getting in his pimped out Honda and leaving the premises he elected to get in security’s face and refuse to leave….
He actually gave him until the count of 5 too…
Shockingly Star Buckz did not comply with the arrest, chose to resist, and ended up getting tazed multiple times.
Since then he’s been taking glamour shots for Attorney Richard N. Vulva’s next big lawsuit and posing outside of the MSP station where he spent the night getting finger blasted by some guy named Moose.
To the surprise of everyone the comments section is filled with SSI scholars pointing out how racist the police are, how he dindu nuffin, and other really original grievances like that.
But at the end of the day it worked out well for Star Buckz. The video has over 150,000 views, which is more than all of his rap videos combined. It’s probably the best thing that ever happened to him.