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Here Are The Top 10 Comments About Obama Worcester Tech Graduation On Facebook

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In the last 24 hours there have been so many amazingly hilarious posts on Facebook about the Obama Worcester Tech graduation that I thought we needed to put together a Top 10 list. Without further adieu, here are the best and brightest Worcester has to offer….

10. Barbara FikuckiScreen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.49.04 AM

Barbara makes the list largely because she has the most dominant last name in the history of the world. Sure it’s probably pretty hard growing up with the last name “Fikucki” before anti-bullying laws were enacted, but now you just dominate the internet with comments like this. Let’s try just for a moment to figured out what the hell B-Fuck is trying to say here. A lot of these commenters just haven’t figure out how awesome periods and commas are. Trying to figure out where one thought ends and another begins is SOOO much easier when you use these fantastic devices. I broke her comment down to four different thoughts, and I still have no Fikucking clue what the Fikuck she’s trying to say:

It’s people…..who have no respect…..that my the kids the way they are today….hopeful our youths don’t listen to you.

Sounds like she thinks Obama is a fikuck boi.


9. Fern Benson. Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.57.29 AM

Wait…so Obama is a serial child murderer now? Give OB a break – this is only partly true. He only kills Afghan children with remote controlled military toys. But I kind of don’t really understand what my friend Fern is trying to say here. So like, when Obama looks at your kids they’re just dead? Because if so he is the most vicious killer in world history.


8. Brenda Morrisey.  Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.59.34 AM

People like Brenda are hilarious. According to these geniuses Obama should’ve been strapped to a rickshaw and pulled the taxpayers through Main South. A bunch of people who lived outside of their means and bought homes they had no business buying can’t keep up with their bills so obviously this means the leader of the free world shouldn’t come to Worcester. Because if SHE is having trouble paying her bills then the city should’ve turned down the opportunity to have a sitting President speak at a high school graduation.

People like Brenda are always fucking experts too. Didn’t you know Nashville only had to pay $30,000 on his visit there? Sure she doesn’t provide any documentation and is literally pulling this stat out of her ass. But if this isn’t a face of someone who knows what the fuck they’re talking about


then I don’t know what is.

Also love her Facebook resume:

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.32.52 AM

So she went to a private four year college, paid a shit ton of money, and now lives in a WASPY, well off town with high property taxes. And because she works at some dead end job which has made her realize that not going to Worcester State or UMass was a really, really stupid idea, she believes that the rest of the city should not have been able to enjoy a pretty cool and historic visit yesterday. Ya got that? Oh yea, and she doesn’t live in Worcester, but she’s mad that the City of Worcester had to foot the bill for Obama’s trip here. Don’t let any of those things stop you from commenting on Facebook though Brenda.


7. Briant Gumbel. Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.44.02 AM

I HATE when my house get’s murdered too. It’s the worst. I’ve lost three houses already to murders. When will it end? I can’t tell what this guy’s deal is. Like, is he mocking the real Bryant Gumbel, or is this his real name? Either way, I hope he never loses a house to another senseless murder again.


6. Rafael Elizondo. 

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.34.12 AM

Lol. LOVE these people. Love em. Rafael you would’ve been the perfect interviewee yesterday my man. Why couldn’t you show up downtown with a sign? Because I would love to have asked you what you think an impeachment is. I’ve asked other people and every time it’s the same answer – “you’re kicked out of office.” Sure, the only two presidents in American history who have been impeached remained in office for the rest of their term. Sure an impeachment was specifically designed by the founders to be a very difficult thing to accomplish so we didn’t frivolously impeach every president who people like Rafael get mad at on a whim. Sure impeach only means that you’re put on trial in front of the Senate. But don’t ever let that get in the way of a good rant Rafael. You forgot to mention BENGHAZI though!! Minus ten FoxNews points.

Also loved his first sentence. “Someone must really hate Obama if he needs 250 cops!!” LOL. Newsflash dude – he’s the fucking President. It doesn’t matter who the President is, there are a shit ton of people out there lining up to kill him. Think the Taliban gives a fuck who the President is? Nope. You win the presidency and your name goes to the top of the kill list.

He wasn’t alone in this belief…

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.31.31 AM

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.38.28 AM

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.44.27 AMYea Obama, why are you letting kids in Worcester get killed all the time? Didn’t you know that international teams of assassins are plotting to kill Billy McJones while he walks home from Thorndyke Road School? Maybe you should give up your Secret Service for them asshole. It’s about the children!!! Not like YOU need protection.



5. Rebecca Turner. 

This girl is obviously wiser than everyone else and we should all listen up because she’s wicked smart. Even ask her:

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.13.47 AM

Our Turkish rocket scientist here feels bad for these kids because of the poor economy and lack of employment, so obviously we should all listen up to her long term economic forecast. But hey, she’s got the coveted and rare high school degree, so she obviously knows what the fuck she’s talking about.


4. Faysha Johnson. Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.17.49 AM

Now THAT is a sentence people. Y’all just got Fayshalized like you read about. I want her and Barbara to get married because Faysha Fukacki might be the most dominant name in the history of the world.


3. Gail Hughes. 

I love Gail Hughes with a passion. This was her actual comment on one of the Obama graduation threads:

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.32.18 AM

Fantastic. Sometimes I forget that old people still don’t know how to use the internet. Or the TV. Or the radio? Wait, I didn’t even know it was possible to not know Obama was coming to Worcester, but apparently it is. Don’t old people listen to Jordan Levy? We gotta get this woman a subscription to Turtleboy Sports so she can stay up to date on hot takes. I am picturing this woman’s living room right now. Most likely she’s sitting there nitting something for her grandson…..oh, what’s-his-name? She picks up the rotary phone, dials the operator, and asks why the milkman hasn’t come in 28 years.

Then she threw this gem out there:

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.32.04 AM

This lady rules. She saw President “What’s-his-name” right after she walked down some street she can’t remember. She does likely remember that her and her friends Beatrice and Agnes stopped for some saltwater taffy on the way home though. Thinks she gives a fuck who the president was? Nope. She was too busy getting her swerve on. Johnson, Nixon, Lincoln, doesn’t matter. Love this lady to death.


2. Trisha MacIntyre. Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.49.28 AM

Can’t tell if this person is trolling or not, but either way, they got five people to like this comment so that alone is pretty impressive. How many lies can you fit into one sentence? Because our girl Trisha easily just obliterated whatever the previous record was.

And what do you think she does for work? My first guess was crack-whore. I mean, what else could you possibly be if you deny the fact that the President is actually the President, and that he should be imprisoned for being an illegal “mooslum terrorist murdering phuk”? Well, apparently she’s a nurse.

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.49.48 AM

So yea, our elderly our in good hands people!!


1. Ricky Ouimet. 

Sticky Ricky won the internet yesterday. He was just on a roll all day. People were busting his chops because he can’t spell, read, or write? Think Ricky gives a fuck? Nope. Just kept coming back stronger each time.

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.46.20 AM

In his defense Texas is WAYYY too expensive. We could’ve got it from Mexico for half the price. Thanks a lot James K. Polk!!

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.45.50 AM

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.45.30 AM

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.45.16 AM

Yea Obama, what’s up with these milk prices?

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.37.28 AM

You think you’re hot shit because you’re the President Obama? Why don’t you park in the lot like everyone else?

Here are some honorable mentions:
Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.01.31 AM

Yea, our economy, which has been improving steadily for several years now, is basically in the same state as it was during the Great Depression.

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.36.23 AM

Yea, why does everyone call him the President? Sure he’s been elected twice, but you think that makes you President? Move back to France traitor.
Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.51.11 AM

Yes, because you know him so well.

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.51.50 AM

Right. Because if you don’t like Obama, then by default you are a racist.

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.56.39 AM

Millions and millions. What a waist!!!

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.56.57 AM

No offense, but anyone who loves, loves, loves a politician is someone I would like to sell my imaginary house at the Cape to.

And last but certainly not least these beautiful hippy protesters:

Who was your favorite commenter? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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1 Vote



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Turtleboy has gone mainstream. Check out our blogs for WEEI.COM’s Dennis & Callahan’s Producer’s Blog.

19 Comment(s)
  • WooDiculous
    September 7, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    Gail Hughes for president.
    She has her priorities straight.

  • September 1, 2014 at 10:50 pm

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  • Brenda Morrisey
    June 13, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    PS… these are hilarious comments from a guy making HIS money off the system.

  • Brenda Morrisey
    June 13, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    You, my friend, are a fucking asshole. You know nothing about me. I paid my own way through college and I don’t live in a “waspy” town. I live in Worcester. I do not live beyond my means. I have a decent job and make decent money. I pay my bills… always… and on time. I made it the hard way, with hard work, and no help from anyone. I bought my first house when I was 20 with a 1 yr old with no help, only hard work. So get the fuck over yourself. I have 6 foreclosures in my immediate neighborhood and 2 more on the way. 1 is an 85 yr old woman who can’t afford her bills any longer and is losing her home of 40 yrs. Maybe you have some smart ass genius comment about how she is living beyond her means. The other is a divorced single mother who has been fighting foreclosure for 3 years. My real estate taxes went up $400 last year. I didn’t get to where I am by blowing money. I save like a depression era widow. We can’t afford any more. So shove your smart ass comments up your ass.

    • Adam
      June 14, 2014 at 2:59 am

      I remember the last time Sparky here scraped personal information of someone he disagreed with on the Internet, like a full month ago, which was something he said he’d ordinarily NEVER do but was totally justified because she said something that made him mad.

      Apparently he’s realized no one gives a shit about hot sports takes from a Worcester perspective, and gets way more traffic as a high school bully blog.

    • June 15, 2014 at 7:52 pm

      Dear Brenda: Given the disaster that was the economy in 2009, and given that the congress has stymied every move this administration has made since 2012, exactly what the hell did you expect the man to do? He got NO help from congress and the blame for the slow recovery sits squarely on his shoulders, ONLY because it was handed to him. How, exactly are the problems in your neighborhood because of this one man?

      • June 15, 2014 at 10:55 pm

        Politics aside, the personal financial issues of an individual should obviously not prevent a city from having the honor of hosting the President of the United States of America.

    • Joey G
      June 16, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      Heyyyy… Brenda 🙂 How’s it going?? Do you wanna go out later? Maybe hit up Hot Dog Annie’s? We can hang out on the side of Rt. 56 and watch the plane land later… also, I’ve got rolling papers if you’ve got weed! What do you say?

  • kj
    June 13, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    But seriously… impeach the traitor.

    • June 15, 2014 at 7:53 pm

      on what grounds? And please list them coherently, in order of magnitude, and with citations from the Constitution, and without referencing Fox news. I’ll wait here.

      • Joey G
        June 16, 2014 at 4:13 pm

        1. He’s not a citizen
        2. He’s a Muslim (I was told the Constitution says that means he can’t be president)
        3. Benghazi
        4. Obamacare
        5. The VA was absolutely perfect before he came into office, now people are dying
        6. He is out to destroy America

        Fuck, you said WITHOUT referencing Fox News… can you write that bigger next time?

  • Mark
    June 13, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    “So yea, our elderly our in good hands people!!”

    You can’t make fun of people’s ridiculous spelling errors and have even slight ones yourself, sir.

  • June 13, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    As a former Worcester resident, I nearly peed my pants laughing over this motley bunch of Facebook posters! I had seriously forgotten how illiterate some of the locals are! HAHAHAHAHA funny stuff!!

  • jones
    June 13, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Who ever wrote this is legendary

  • June 13, 2014 at 11:09 am

    1. Fikucki – I went to school with two Fikucki’s and (FYI they are TOTALLY NORMAL!!! this lady is not a blood relative), this is what my brother said about the Fikucki’s… “of course I remember her, with a name like Fikucki, you don’t get forgotten!”
    2. Frank – He also went to our school (you are seeing a theme here I’m sure)… He’s FB friends with me, he’s def. lost his mind since elementary school and I have to block his FB posts because they were driving me nuts… meanwhile, in the 4th grade, he wanted to be the Pope.
    3. Ricky Ouimet OMG!!! I am so glad someone else experienced the awesome-ness that is Ricky Ouimet as well! DUDE this GUY!!! So many exclamation points about him! He was also complaining incessantly about the DMV and please tell me you hopped on over to his totally open FB page… you won’t be disappointed! He has a model plane fetish and hates the DMV. And had a DUI… and posted his full court records about that online… yeahhh he’s special!

  • Roberto Pagan
    June 13, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Obama and I go way back you don’t even know.

  • Kate
    June 12, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    The author of this article has the best comments

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