Have a tip for a story? Email us at email@example.com.
Follow us on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow us on Instagram by clicking here.
Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever Facebook page to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
Source: MA State Police said they arrested a man for OUI drugs early Sunday morning after he crashed with a unrestrained 3-year-old in the car. That child was ejected from the pick-up truck onto the road and is now suffering from life-threatening injuries. Officials said preliminary investigation shows the single-vehicle crash on Route 3N happened when the driver, identified as 34-year-old Florian Roshi of Weymouth, veered out of the lane, brushed the guardrail, veered back into the lane and over-corrected, causing the toddler to be ejected.
MA State Police said a second passenger, an 8-year-old boy, was not injured and is now in the custody of authorities at the South Shore Hospital. Troopers said they determined Roshi was driving under the influence of narcotics. He is currently in custody at the State Police Barracks in Norwell. Roshi has been charged with operating under the influence of drugs, child endangerment, safety restraint violation and motor vehicle charges.
It’s not his fault, remember? He’s got the “disease.” See how stupid you sound when you call it that now? You know what’s a disease? Love. It’s the most powerful disease that has ever existed, and there is no cure for it. The love I have for my kids is my powerful than any force on earth, and 99.9% of you reading this feel the same way. If I was a heroin addict and I knew I had to drive my kids somewhere on the highway, I would never, ever, ever put a needle in my veins, forget to strap in the three year old, and drive. Ever. Why? Because love of your children should be stronger than any physical desire to get high. If it’s not, then you’re just a selfish piece of poo. End of story.
It’s OK though, because as part of this 12 steps program he updated his Facebook profile quote:
“Life is truly all about my wife and kids family is the most important thing in my life.”
No slugpump, heroin is the most important thing in your life.
New rule – if you haven’t gone for at least 3 years without doing heroin, you only get to see your kids in DCF visitor’s room.
Florian is your typical Facebook Dad, who projects himself as a good, loving parent on Facebook:
And Mom is a real peach herself.
Open for business!!
Shocking to to see that she’s rocking the titoos. Never saw that one coming.
This woman’s name is Cherry. Fucking CHERRY. As in “popped my cherry.” She’s named after the flavor that makes you happy when you first see it because it’s red and you think it’s fruit punch, but then it turns out be cherry so you eat Cheese-Its instead. Only a woman named Cherry would pose for a makeout picture at the public water park with a chudstuffer who drives around with her child in a unrestrained seat, jammed out of his mind.
Unsurprisingly her voice sounds like a cartoon of Newport Lights that got hit by a garbage truck full of soiled diapers.
Shockingly she’s also got the “disease.”
These people man. It’s always the same song and dance:
“God is good because I’ve been clean for all of 10 minutes. Please hit the like button so I can feel good about myself.”
It’s OK though, because she’s not “taking life for granite again.” She’s more of a quartz girl.
Underneath one of those posts on her wide open Facebook page a woman called her out for being a dopehead. What do you do in this situation if you’re Cherry? A normal person would deactivate their Facebook page, or at the very least block people casting judgement and change their privacy settings. Not Cherry though, she did things the Weymouth way:
And of course the first skagbag defending her is rocking the dog filter. Never saw that one coming.
Cherry brings up a good point though – we are talking shit about something we “don’t know about.” I’m sure this whole thing is a big misunderstanding. Sure, a child was ejected from a vehicle on the highway because he was unrestrained. Sure, he was arrested for being on drugs. Sure, both he and his mother are junkboxes pretending to be good parents on Facebook. But that doesn’t mean we should be talking shit because we “don’t know them.” That’s how the Internet works.
The twatrocket parade commenced after that:
Oh right, we should all care about what a drug addict “needs to hear right now.” Ya know what she doesn’t need to hear right now? She doesn’t need to hear about what great parents her and her blowout booger husband are. Sorry Stephanie, but judge I will. He’s not a good dude, this wasn’t a “mistake,” and his family is not “the world” to him. Drugs are his world.
These are definitely the kind of people you want to associate with when you’re trying to prove to the world that you’re actually a good parent:
These winners fell off the ratchet tree and hit every branch on the way down. Especially Christine Guy:
Generally if someone comes on your page and writes, “u got too many people who will come visit and fuck a hoe up,” I just kind of assume that you’ve traded in your food stamps for crack more times than you can count. JSJS.
Christine’s Snapchat pictures are like a scared straight commercial for DARE. Before……
And waaaayyyyyy before……
Yea boo, she don’t need no filters. Don’t get it twisted. When life kicks the shit out of you with a sack of dead possums you can be the world’s oldest 26 year old without any IG filters.
Then came the fam:
Once you’ve reached the stage where someone mentions how you finna catch deez hands, there’s no turning back. Hey Raquel, we do “realize who the fuck you r b4 we open our mouth to the wrong one.” You’re a gutterburger with extra cheese who more than likely has said “only God can judge” more often than you have read a book to your children.
All I’m saying is that if Mr. Turtlegirl nearly killed my son because he was driving around high on the highway with my 3 year old unrestrained in the backseat, I would feed him his dick for brunch. Not Cherry though – she’s defending him:
Because at the end of the day his cervix scraper and her “disease” matter more to her than her children’s well being.
Let’s hope this poor kid pulls through and a nice couple adopts him and gives him the life he deserves.