Hundreds Of Pounds Of Mary Jane Keep Floating Ashore In Florida And If The Cops Think We’re Going To Help Identify This Woman “Stealing” Free Pot They Must Be High

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Normally we side with the police when they put out a Facebook post looking for a criminal. But in this case, no, we will not be helping you identify this hero:

Wait…what?? A big bag of weed randomly washed up on shore, and you’re not allowed to grab a handful? What kind of country are we living in? Finders keepers. She’s a blonde chick with a lot of weed. If I know who she was I’d already be best friends with her.

What’s the difference between this chick and the old people who walk the beach with metal detectors looking for quarters? Is that stealing too? After all, it’s not their money. Who does this weed even belong to? Did it fall off a ship? Because if so, you’re an idiot to bring that much Mary Jane on the high seas, and that ganja was never meant for you in the first place.

Turns out weed has been washing up on the shore for the last week in this county in Florida, and she’s not the first “criminal” to try to take advantage of it:

This was not the first time this week that packages of marijuana washed up on Florida’s shores. Flagler County deputies said a total of 100 pounds of marijuana turned up on the beach in just two days. In Volusia County, deputies said 23 bales of marijuana washed up on the beach Wednesday in Ormond-by-the-Sea.

First of all, weed should be legal. That’s the only reason they’re getting in trouble for this. If it was a bunch of Hatchimals or gold chains no one would care. This is just a stupid state filled with stupid people enforcing stupid laws because they think pot is evil.

Secondly, this almost definitely came from some Cuban or Dominican migrants who were trying to come here illegally on a raft. They’re probably shark food at this point, so who gives a shit what happens to their stash? It never really belonged to anyone anyway. What are the cops gonna do with it? Find it’s rightful owner? What a waste of police resources this is, in a state filled with murderers, rapists, and grown men wearing jorts.

I’ll tell you who I’d like to identify – the asshole who took this picture and reported her to authorities. How much of a loser would you have to be to see something like this, take a picture, and then snitch to the cops? If you know who the snitch is then please call 1-800-TURTLES, message us on Facebook, or email We would love to make them famous.

15 Comment(s)
  • EDubz
    September 21, 2018 at 9:18 am

    I once (or twice) smuggled dope into jail and it was the ‘bro’ i didn’t get around to sharing enough with that told on me… someone who knows her and feels they’ve been cheated out of some free ganj will def tell on her

  • Henry Fool
    September 20, 2018 at 8:52 am

    i like smoking salted pot.

  • randiguy2006
    September 19, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    Drugs are bad.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    September 19, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    Are there other photos or something? I don’t see any marijuana. Looks like she could be unpacking her new beach tent. Idk
    There seems to be a hand and a leg of a tent partner in the pick. Are we trying to identify those?
    Photographer needs to be shamed. Lol

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 19, 2018 at 2:29 pm

    Only a moron would grab a handful. Grab the bale and drive home…carefully.
    FlaglerSheriff arrested a man they say stole weed that washed up on the beach. Witnesses saw Robert Kelley picked up 11lbs of wet weed & hide it in his trunk under a towel. He told deputies he was holding it for them.
    Did he also ‘steal’ sand and wampum he found washed up? Maybe he was trespassing, too, Sherlocks. How does one steal something that washed ashore? I steal rain from the sky (thats an actual thing…Oregon farmer locked up for collecting rain).
    Meh…legend has it that some plants can be found locally….good stuff, to boot. So, Im told…

  • Will Crusher
    September 19, 2018 at 2:16 pm

    Um. The cops aren’t your friends. In any situation. They are the armed paramilitary wing of your local government. Remember, you can’t be smart and decide to be a cop. You’re disqualified for being too intelligent.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      September 19, 2018 at 2:37 pm


    • TB Ryder
      September 19, 2018 at 3:13 pm

      Ahhh to be 14 again…

      That’s not true at all, we actually receive higher pay depending on our education level, and receive bonuses for continuing our education. They won’t even look at your application if you’re not a college graduate. But FACKS right?

      • Akihito
        September 19, 2018 at 3:52 pm

        Yeah those taxpayer scamming diploma mill programs they give you more $ for Einstein.

        • TB Ryder
          September 19, 2018 at 4:19 pm

          “taxpayer scamming diploma mill programs they give you more $ for Einstein.”

          A criminal justice bachelors degree is a taxpayer scam? BU is a diploma mill? Shit I wish I knew this I wouldn’t have paid all of that money for my degree!

          • Akihito
            September 19, 2018 at 5:33 pm

            The continuing ed program scams.

      • Chris Seith
        September 19, 2018 at 4:30 pm

        LoL that damn quinn bill. Considering youre a glorified garbage man what good is a cj degree. Hasn’t stopped police from clearly shooting black men in the back. Or pulling up and lighting up black kids before assessing the situation. The only things they must teach in those classes are don’t snitch on your brothers never show up to details on time, oppose civilian flaggers like the plague and fake an injury once youve gotten to the highest pay grade. Oh and have a strong union .

      • Akihito
        September 19, 2018 at 5:41 pm

        Keep in mind more education doesn’t equal higher IQ.
        Years back the courts ruled in favor of the police when a guy sued for being denied a police job because they said he was too intelligent. They want you to be smarter than hoodrats and junkies but that’s it

  • Y
    September 19, 2018 at 2:16 pm

    I’d like to find-out who the girl is so I can give her a mustache ride

  • vic1
    September 19, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    I would let that Blonde chick smoke my fat doobie anytime 🙂

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