Hoodrat Heroes

Hyannis Hog Gobbler Shits On Deceased Yarmouth Cop, Buys Food Stamps On Facebook, Passed Out In Dunkins Drive Through With Needle In Arm And Kids In Backseat, Forgets To Show Up For DCF Visits

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We’ve been bombarded with screeshots of people who have openly celebrated the death of Yarmouth Police Officer Sean Gannon. And as much as we enjoy shaming these people so that for the rest of their lives this will be the first thing that comes up when people Google them, I almost don’t wanna give them the attention they so dearly crave.

Almost.

That was until we saw Hyannis resident Tiffany Tinkham:

Here’s what Tiffany Tinkham had to say about the assassination of Officer Gannon, who leaves a wife behind, and who will never get to experience the joy of holding his own flesh and blood and being called Daddy:

As you can tell from her mastery of the Hyannis dialect of English, she’s a real Rhodes Scholar. I’m sure her beef with the police is legitimate though, and any sort of Google trophies she’s earned have all been because of police corruption. Right Tiffany?

Oh wait, as it turns out she actually hates the police because two years ago she was arrested after going through the Dunkins drive through with a needle sticking out of her withered, crackhead arms, with the driver passed out behind the wheel IN THE DRIVE THROUGH, all while HER KIDS WERE IN THE BACKSEAT!!!

And the chudstuffer she was banging at the time who was behind the wheel was not licensed of course, but they had a plan –

The ol’ switcheroo!! Because the cops would never notice you smearing your grundle juices all over the stick shift as the barely conscious man driving your children does the junkie juke move over to the passenger’s seat.

She also frequently does heroin in front of her children, but she has a plan for that too:

Oh good, she just tells her kids to close their eyes when Mommy is intentionally getting “sick.” Luckily Daddy is there to drive “all the time,” which involves passing out behind the wheel in the Dunkin Donuts drive through.

She’s been dealing heroin for quite some time actually, and her Google trophies down the Cape go back to 2008:

And if that wasn’t ratchet enough, there’s this:

What were the odds that a cop hating, illiterate, deadbeat junkbox Mom would be involved in Facebook food stamp transactions? Never saw that one coming fam!

I could’ve spent hours digging through the Pandora’s snatchbox that is her Facebook page. And I did. And it was an amazing adventure. Turns out her animosity with the Yarmouth PD comes from another time, a couple months before her Dunkin Donuts incident, in which they hassled her for being passed out in a truck at 6 AM with her boyfriend. But it’s cool because she was on her way to drop him off at work:

 

Because who doesn’t take a nap in the truck while driving their boyfriend to work? Gotta factor the junkie power nap into your morning commute. Everyone knows that. Come on officers, do these look like the faces of people who AREN’T clean?

He bent the brim of his hat!! He’s cool, I swear! It was totally just a power nap, not two crackheads nodding off after an all night sesh of exchanging junkie juices in the back to the truck. Plus, he’s a big upgrade over the last baby daddy who was storing is beefstick in her meat wallet:

Tiffany has three children, a boy and two younger daughters. She occasionally forgets the supervised DCF visits with the girls, but it’s cool though because she likes the boy the most:

“Today has been like go go inspector gadget.”

Translation – I swallowed a DNA slurpie behind the Tedeschi’s, woke up in a ditch, and skipped the visitation with my daughters whose names I frequently forget anyway.

But it’s cool because she earned her “certificate of attendance” in the “how to not be a Cape Cod junkbox Mom” class:

If you’ve ever referred to DCF as “baby snatchers,” you know your ass is ratchet.

FACKS!

She did have a solution for how to get her son back from the baby snatchers though:

Yup. She tells her kids to be monsters in the foster homes so that no on will want to adopt them and they’ll be forced to go back to your crack den where you can continue to use them as tax credits.

Just kidding, we all know these maggots don’t bother doing their taxes.

The strategy doesn’t work with the daughters though, because according to Mom, “they don’t care, they’ll call anyone mom”:

So your kids call whatever clam is currently giving them food and shelter “Mom.” Fuck it. No big deal. The baby cannon’s got plenty of gun powder left in the ovaries. Plenty more ungrateful kids where that came from.

A great way to get your kids back from the baby snatchers is to post about the new and fun drugs you’re experimenting with as well:

HAHAHAHHAHA!! She woke up after a Zany bender and wanted to know if she ate gum. No honey, but it certainly rhymes with that. And he’s nicknamed it an “oatmeal cream pie.” Luckily she woke up just in time to catch her public transportation bus to the clinic for court ordered rehab. #RelationshipGoals

She apparently went and got divorced from one of the not so recent guys who was granted access to her penis fly trap. But she kept his last name so that when her son looks up his biological mother when he turns 18 they can catch up on lost time:

Thank God she got rid of the other guy because now she be ballin:

And I’m sure that money was not procured through a combination of selling heroin and pole polishing tongue baths.

Her ex-husband didn’t make her nearly as moist as the new guy does with his power tools:

HOT!!

He’s a real gentleman, and always writes her passionate love letters whenever he’s in court ordered rehab:

Things were going so well that they moved into their very own house:

Do they actually own the house? My Section 8-ball is telling me….outlook not so good.

As if her ratchet resume wasn’t robust enough already, she wisely posted that the dog she had stolen from another ratchet had bitten her elderly neighbor’s dog, and consequently she wanted to kill her stolen dog:

Don’t fuck with her though, because her “patients” is wearing thin:

Recently she posted about all the strides she’s made towards achieving her dreams in the last calendar year:

Oh good, she’s got her kid back. And now she owns a parrot too. Joy. Add that onto the fact that she’s off probation in August and that DUI will be vanishing, and things are looking pretty good for the Hyannis Hog Gobbler.

She’s also “off the colors,” which she mentions a lot in her rantings:

According to the context clues this is because she has not been caught “ridin’ dirty” in a while. So my powers of ratchet deduction tell me that she has not been caught passed out in a car with a needle stuck in her arm in at least six months, therefore she no longer gets pissed tested? I dunno, I don’t speak this stuff fluently. Yet.

She’s a big fan of judges in Cape Cod:

Which tells you everything you need to know about Cape Cod judges. When Hurricane Hyannis thinks you’re doing a good job because you keep giving her chances, you know you’re unfit to serve as a judge any longer.

Because people like this cannot be reformed. Just send them to ratchet island and be done with them.

But she’s mature and wise now, and is offering parenting advice to other slugpumps on Facebook:

So let me get this straight – I’m NOT supposed to keep my kids as a tool for child support? I’m not supposed to go out clubbing instead of spending time with them? I’m supposed to be “envolved” with their lives? Does that mean I should actually show up for supervised DCF visits with what’s her face, and….the other one with the pony tail?

Here’s my question – would you recommend shitting on dead cop just weeks after posting about how you’re in the market for food stamps? Because if ending up on Turtleboy Sports is one of your life goals, you should probably get some new life goals.

49 Comment(s)
  • Amy
    April 27, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    I couldn’t even read this all the way through, it’s so horrifying and despicable. She is a total waste of space, sad excuse for a human being. Her poor children…
    She’s the reason mandatory sterilization should be a thing

  • Deborah
    April 18, 2018 at 6:52 am

    Love your commentary. Still in shock that they walk among us.

  • She's a twat
    April 17, 2018 at 10:02 am

    I hope every cape police officer makes her life a living hell. She must be so proud that she kept the last name of a convicted child rapist. She’s a real winner.

  • Kristin Doyle
    April 17, 2018 at 7:39 am

    Laughable……

  • Horrified
    April 17, 2018 at 12:40 am

    Wish I could post screenshot because this one is brilliant!! Yet another life she accepted the responsibility to love and protect…
    Green guy all grown up thanks to my grandmother!! She did an amazing job, helping him back to life after burtal attacks of my son by accident and being sat on by my brother by accident n paralyzed him..he now has most movement to his hind legs and is nearly quadrupled his size…I gave him to her in hopes that she could help him, cuz I didnt have time with everything I was going thur. But after a years hard work he is fully recovered and she returned him to me, a dinosaur!!!!! Thank u nanna for saving green guy, he does miss u I can tell but iam doing my best to follow ur routine so he still feels at home.

  • MammaT
    April 16, 2018 at 5:28 pm

    Came back to delete my post after seeing what this woman posted about YPD. She’ll likely lose all her kids anyway, and hopefully they’ll land somewhere they can be better off. This level of mean and stupid in unlikely to get better anytime soon, if ever. Sorry. Carry on.

    • Jaxson
      April 16, 2018 at 7:10 pm

      You can not delete comments. But reading The whole article before commenting helps to ensure you don’t say the wrong thing.

  • MammaT
    April 16, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    This person clearly lacks breeding, education, and a command of the English language.
    I didn’t see what she said about the police officer who was savagely murdered, but by the looks of her other postings, I have a general idea. Posting all that filth about her personal life is on her, and I don’t blame you for being angry and wanting to plaster her stupidity all over your blog. She does have three small children however, who will probably grow up here and hopefully learn to read. By the time those kids are in grade school they’ll be able to see this stuff. I didn’t know him, but I’d imagine the murdered officer would not want to be attached to this post. Have to admit I found some of your characterizations hilarious, but you might want to reconsider this post. Just a friendly suggestion.

  • Dean Wormer
    April 16, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Maybe the Kennedy’s will open up a room for her at their Hi-anus Port compound? Too bad ‘ol drunken Fat Ted is gone, he could’ve driven her off a bridge. Fat, high and stupid is no way to go through life girl.

  • Danya
    April 16, 2018 at 2:40 am

    You had me at “Penis fly trap.”

  • Irish Murphy
    April 16, 2018 at 1:07 am

    Sad state of affairs when a “woman” spells douche…. “Dush”. I stopped there before becoming retarded. Karma seems to Reap hell in her life yearly….fitting.

  • ugh
    April 16, 2018 at 12:52 am

    Those poor children…

  • Scott
    April 16, 2018 at 12:34 am

    Is it too late to enter her in your contest? This story is both sad and so, so funny! What a RATCHET!

  • Sharon
    April 15, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    Wow what a pos!! And I feel bad for her poor son someone should show dcf all these post she should not be trusted with kids!

  • Moe
    April 15, 2018 at 7:53 pm

    All three.

  • Spunky
    April 15, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    “A word of advice to future parents”. Are you friggin kidding me! This is one dense nervy bitch. Hopefully DSS has learned from their many past fatal mistakes by given innocent children back to self centered, drug addicted, worthless, ignorant douche nuggets such as yourself. POS, your life don’t matter.

  • NR
    April 15, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    She sealed up her FB page. But no matter Tiffany, must suck to know one of your FB friends sent all of that to TB to out you as the skank you are. Hmmmm, which one?? Good luck with that, probably more than one! Glad you got some love from TB riders before you sealed it.

    • Who was it Tiff
      April 15, 2018 at 7:32 pm

      They always get multiple messages about someone before writing a story. That’s what makes it so funny. These bitches think they are all that. When people can’t wait to talk shit about them and show the world who they are and what they are about. I would bet half her friends list are only her friends on Facebook and it’s so they can talk about her. Chicks like this got nobody in their corner unless they got a gram and once that’s gone so is everyone else. This thing will overdose on the bathroom floor of a fast food restaurant covered in piss and they will come and narcan her, and she will be booting up again within the hour. No cash no problem. She will use her mouth. No shame in her game

  • Angry Middle Class Douchebag
    April 15, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    Anyone who openly rejoices in the pain of another is a wicked and evil human being, who will face God’s wrath in the end. This woman is disgusting.

  • Dr. Josef Mengele Foundation
    April 15, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    Very interesting, Eugenics & much more come to mind.

  • Citypoint
    April 15, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    Don’t send her to re-hab or parenting class.
    Send her to an English class.

  • K
    April 15, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    You have it completely wrong. They’re the ones that get a job for two or three months just to claim taxes and get thousands of dollars from the kids they barely take care of. I asked my accountant last year when I filed how do these girls who I don’t see work get thousands of dollars in taxes and I have to pay. He said those exact words to me they get a job for 3 months For the sole purpose of getting a tax check. You should know that they work the system. I read most of your articles And usually you are on point about working the system. Maybe this is a new writer.

  • Father McCracken
    April 15, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    Dear Tiffany. I believe in forgiveness. My dear child, I pray for you. Accept the lords sacriment and the body of Christ and by that I don’t mean any sacriment laced with less than the purest fentanyl. May the hot dose be with you, and also with you.

    I pray for you my child. I pray that you die in a fire, slowly. Tiffany my child I believe in forgiveness. But not for you. In the name of the father, the son, and deez nutz. Have a blessed day.

  • Sierra
    April 15, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    Can’t wait to see her in the next Rachet Madness lineup, she’ll definitely go far!

  • Burkie
    April 15, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    Holy white trash !! Tiffany do your kids a favor go jump off Bourne Bridge … nobody will miss you except for that old guy who pays you to blow him !!!!

  • NR
    April 15, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    Stupid White trash cunt. Hilarious that she has a video up of her moped being stolen off her porch and is involved with the police on it. It’s always the drug infested ratchets who post shit about the police but are the first to call them when their trash is stolen. Your son should never have been given back to you. That’s whats wrong with the systems here in MA. Anyone who has a needle in their arm with their kids in the back seat, along with doing drugs in front of them should lose them permanently. Congratulations fucking twat…raising the next generation of users. 

  • panzer9811
    April 15, 2018 at 11:57 am

    Can you imagine having that useless, ignorant cunt helping a child with their homework?
    “Get envolved with there schooling…..”
    Good lord. Those kids don’t stand a chance.

  • Finn
    April 15, 2018 at 11:44 am

    What to do with Tiffany? Where to begin?

    To start with, she posted a certificate of “Parenting” on her Facebook (she had to complete an 8 week course on how to be a mom). That tells me she’s not ready to take the training wheels off and become a real parent. As a concerned neighbor, I’d certainly update/call DCF on *any* suspicious behavior regarding her children. You can never be too sure. Check.

    Also, considering she *just* got her license (paper) back, if I were an officer of the law, I would certainly make sure she was obeying all traffic laws to the T. I’d want to make sure there were no driving distractions in her car – cell phones, that her kids were properly strapped in, that were were no illegal contraband (that could all take a while). I think all cops should be on the alert for this newly licensed driver. Check.

    She got a parrot – huh? I’m pretty sure there are rules and regs for having exotic pets. As a concerned neighbor and animal lover, I’d make sure all animals in that house were well kept and got along together. Animal abuse is just as bad as child abuse and we know Tiffany’s record with child abuse. Check.

    Instead of getting outraged and pissed off by her pathetic and uneducated comments regarding Officer Sean Gannon — a man whom she would never emulate in a million years – let’s make sure she never steps out of line in Yarmouth again. Keep an eye on that dumb twat and honor the memory of a true hero that put idiots like her away.

    Get fucked Tiffany – you’re going no where in life.

  • Metro West Stud
    April 15, 2018 at 11:36 am

    Why is most of Cape Cod now a collection of dirt bags with an ocean view?

    • KT
      April 15, 2018 at 8:15 pm

      And where is the dog she was going to kill? POS

      • Check out time
        April 16, 2018 at 8:57 am

        The dog she supposedly stole from someone else. Smh. Do us a favor and drive down a long dirt road , shoot up a gram, take a few Xanax bars, lock the door, turn off the car and get ready for your well deserved dirt nap. Don’t worry nobody will miss you. Shit your kids will call any woman mom. But that can’t be your fault. Maybe it’s because you would tell them to call whatever dick you were riding for the weekend Daddy. See how that would confuse a child? And don’t worry after the shit you talked about officer Gannon I don’t think any emergency service workers will give you narcan, once they realize it’s you and remember the shit you said.. it wouldn’t surprise me if they sat there and watched you swallow your own tongue! Or maybe they will just close their eyes like your kids do

  • Yarmouth Strong
    April 15, 2018 at 10:06 am

    Omg I am Dead!!! You hit this one on the money turtleboy!!! The audacity of her! I’m glad there’s someone out here like you to stand up and put the trash on blast – everytime, you hold nothing back and maybe that’ll make the next person think twice! Lmao at “so this will be the first thing that pops up on Google for the rest of her life! ✊✊

  • Chip Striker
    April 15, 2018 at 9:47 am

    White trash junkie cunt.

  • Jaxson
    April 15, 2018 at 9:42 am

    Stupid bitch taking up space and air. She shouldn’t be allowed to be near her kids at all. It wouldn’t shock me to hear she injected them with dope like that mother did in Washington. She called it sleep juice. We already know she has no issue with them seeing her take her “medicine” she just tells them to close their eyes. Are you fkn kidding me? What does she tell them the junkie juice she drinks every morning is and what it’s for? And what’s up with not knowing that “I” and “am” are two words not one. This bitch is vomit period

  • Tim
    April 15, 2018 at 9:31 am

    Once a dumb c***, always a dumb c***.

  • Dianne
    April 15, 2018 at 9:14 am

    selling, buying food stamps? who does that ?Nobody according to Jim Mcgovern

  • Afriendofafriend
    April 15, 2018 at 9:12 am

    What an absolute piece of ugly useless trash. A despicable excuse for a human being. Her parents failed her and now she is a doomed failure.

  • just passing thru
    April 15, 2018 at 9:10 am

    I weep for my country.

    How much longer can the good decent honest hardworking people defend our society against people like her, who are breeding carbon copies of themselves or worse?

    Between the junkies and the Tide Pod eating condom snorting children who are trying to re-write the Bill of Rights, we are doomed as a society and a nation.

    Oh I forgot to mention illegal immigration.but

    I will be dead in 50 years, probably more like 25 to 30 years tops, I probably lived in the greatest period of America, born in the 50’s, raised in the 60’s and early 70’s. I have seen the good, the bad, technical innovation like no other time i human history. But I have seen women like this, and the endless parade of men who produce offspring with no desire or ability to raise them ruin this country by the destruction of the nuclear family and society in general.

    These are the children of my friends and peers! We did this to ourselves.

    • Hughbo Mont
      April 15, 2018 at 11:02 am

      Same boat. I should be dead by the time whites (non-hispanic) are a minority. Unless the next civil war happens prior.

  • Captain Trips
    April 15, 2018 at 8:46 am

    I love the bikini pic – look at the room

    I bet her entire rental place is completely trashed and one big disorganized mess

  • LSD
    April 15, 2018 at 8:21 am

    Again, I can’t read through this because it will make me crazy! So many people do not know their place. This is what we use to call “white trash”. This sort of person apes what they hear from friends. Do you think this woman has ever read a book? What has happened that there are so many people that merely EAT SHIT & FUCK? oh ya and GET HIGH!! I often wonder if they know how others see them. I would like to know if there is any way to figure out how many people have spent lifetimes on public assistance? Again I have to live on the same street where you see children getting picked up in front of their apt blds. by “special buses”, and then we watch the parents go back to bed.

    • Jaxson
      April 15, 2018 at 9:53 am

      Doesn’t that make you sick to see that bus come at 6 am and pick up a child. And then that bus comes back to drop that child off to the mom still in her pajamas from earlier that morning at 6 pm. And to know that child spent 12 hours at day care while mom did whatever it is she may do.. but she isn’t working. I see it every day and it makes me sick. The sad part is that it’s probably the only time the child is even paid attention to. And so many shitty parents think this is okay to do.

      • Yarmouth Strong
        April 15, 2018 at 10:12 am

        We still call it white trash!!!

  • Screw PC
    April 15, 2018 at 8:08 am

    Power tools turn her on because Daddy used to take an electric sander to that face. It didn’t work.

  • roberti
    April 15, 2018 at 7:50 am

    All-time Loser!

  • Travis Rearick
    April 15, 2018 at 7:17 am

    You put her on any ratchet madness list and I will vote her in, I don’t even care which list. She’s a poster ratchet for Turtleboy Sports.

  • Hughbo Mont
    April 15, 2018 at 5:51 am

    crackheads do crack. junkies do heroin. you don’t nod off high on crack.

    next year’s tourney sweet sixteen rachet.

  • Didi's a Douche
    April 15, 2018 at 4:56 am

    She should have her twat permanently plugged so she can’t have any more kids. She’s not fit to wipe the shoes of LE. Society would be better off without her.

  • Richard Cranium
    April 15, 2018 at 2:04 am

    In that last post she effectively blamed her parents, or lack thereof, for all of her failures. Way to own it bitch….

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