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So here’s a quick background about Turtleboy Sports for those unfamiliar with the site.
Basically we didn’t wanna use real names, but we wanted to be able to speak freely, so we decided to name our blog after Worcester’s most iconic figure – a boy humping a turtle. Plus we had a few writers and we all wanted to pen under the same name. Thus “Turtleboy.” We’ve had over a dozen people contribute using this nom de plume. We have writers everywhere from Florida, to Indiana. We’re nationwide. You cannot stop the Turtleboy revolution. It is literally taking over America.
And I know a lot of people who have been accused of and asked if they were Turtleboy. Newsflash – there is no Turtleboy. Turtleboy is the voice of the people. The bottom line is this – we’ve built up a following because we’re not afraid to say what everyone is thinking.
On that note Turtleboy could be anyone out there. So instead of making this poor sap spend all day trying to crack the case, I thought I’d help him out. Here are the faces of the Turtleboy Sports Revolution. Turtleboy could be……
Mr. Potato Head
A cute dog
A dog who is not impressed with your shenanigans
The African-American Taco Bell dog
A sad dog who needs a hug
A dog who rides the turtle
The spawn of Beethoven dog
A silly little dog who thinks he’s people
An unimpressed cat
A pot-smoking cat
The Incredible Hulk
Worcester babes who can ride the turtle for 3.1 miles
An Asian guy at the masquerade ball
A Worcester hooligan sober
A Worcester hooligan not sober
A Blarney goer
A stealthy woman with sweet selfie skills
An All-Star fisherman
An exhausted Teddy Bear who can’t stop dreaming about cheeseburgers
A junior smokeshow with diagonal selfie skills
A Hello Kitty
A drunken Irishman
A Nutcracker babe
A groovy junior smokeshow who enjoys the beauty of New England foliage
Walter White
The man in the iron mask
The Fitchburg State Junior Smokeshow Cheerleading Team
A llama
The guy from “I Know What You Did Last Summer” who wrote that message to Jennifer Love Hewitt
A man who only writes in turtle green
The antichrist
A learned man who has read many leather-bound books and works in downtown Worcester
A pair of women who ride the turtle so much that the city had to build a fence to keep them out
ISIS
Future Rhode Island Governor Al Dente
A ninja turtle baby
A ninja turtle toddler
A handsome baby with a Mommy whose multitasking selfie skills are unparalleled
A peace loving, photogenic girl who every woman in America wants to be their flower girl
An adorable baby who just wants to be held
An All-American girl with turtle colored eyes
Captain America Jr.
A turtle riding brother duo
Or I could even be the tag team duo of Sean Michaels’ and Whiskey-Drinking Spider Undies Santa Man
My advice is to stop worrying about who Turtleboy is. Because it doesn’t matter. Turtleboy Sports is something that unites us all while we take our morning dumps. He or she could be any of the people or wildlife pictured above.
15 Comment(s)
Hey that’s a fukin Alpaca not a Llama!
I think you you should have a disclaimer, or at least a link to this page on every article. It is way too easy for someone to get confused when your header and logo is Turtleboy. Finding out who John Doe is doesn’t really matter in my case, but I wont be surprised if I do. See you soon 🙂
I Am Turtleboy
The tee-shirt that is shown here is what I was hoping you were having on sale!
Youre a faggot…that’s all. How is your mom’s basement? Does she charge you rent?
Please tell me you’re 12 or younger. If not, you’re pretty fucking pathetic.
Turtleboy, kudos. Keep on doing what you do best.
You are TurtleBoy. I am the Walrus.
goo goo goo joob? Blow job?
Is this an offer?
Forgot to mention the people explaining to Jr.
What turtle boy meant in the:
“Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?”
When saying “Turtleboy is in pants tent city.”
That’s just a minor example. Point being the articles with commentary are the writers voice not the peoples. Not all are going to agree on the views of the writer.
My money is on Scratch. Where you been hiding, man?
http://worcestersharks.org/photos/ScratchJPG_resizedb.jpg
Such good photo’s of pussy.
I. AM. TURTLEBOY.