Smiles And Sunshine

Jeff Bauman Sends Big F You To Terrorist #2 By Impregnating Fiance

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ABC – A man who lost his legs in the Boston Marathon bombings, then helped authorities identify the suspects, is engaged and an expectant father. Jeff Bauman, 28, and his fiancee, Erin Hurley, 27, told The Associated Press in a recent interview that the baby is due July 14. They don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, and they want it to be a surprise.”My mom loves it. My dad’s going crazy,” Bauman said. As for himself, “I just want to be a good dad.”


So this is pretty much the greatest story of the year. When I saw that Jeff Bauman had a girlfriend after the Boston Marathon bombings, the first thing I thought for this guy was, ASK HER TO MARRY YOU. I can only imagine what he’s been through, and at the same time, it’s gotta rough on her too. The dude is an American hero, but his girlfriend had no permanent attachment to him. A lot of of people who aren’t as strong as her might’ve decided that they don’t have what it takes to enter into a lifelong commitment with someone who will need a lot of care and assistance. He needed to lock that up post haste.

That’s what makes this whole story so amazing. She truly, truly loved this dude, and was there for him in his darkest moment. Every able bodied male out there would be so lucky as to snatch up a winner like this.

You know what the best part about this is (besides the fact that they’re going to bring a human life into this world)? It’s the fact that terrorist number 2, Jafar, loses AGAIN. First he not only witnesses his brother, who he worshipped and committed himself to Jihad for, get shot before finishing him off by running him over and hiding like a rat in someone’s back yard.


But he forgot the number one rule of the veteran terrorist – you better die for the cause. Now he’s stuck in an American jail, detained by the same people that he learned to hate on youtube videos. Everyone he loves is dead or in another country. His Mom can’t visit him because her ass will go to jail if she does. He will literally rot in a jail cell in complete loneliness, crying himself to sleep when he finally reaches his personal epiphany that what he did was all for naught, until a judge decides whether or not he will be executed or rot away until he is no more.

Now this happens. They wanted us all to live in fear, but instead THEY created this story of personal redemption, and the greatness of the American spirit. Every time a marathon victim recovers from their cowardly attacks and goes on to live their life to the fullest, the terrorists lose. All they’ve done is give us a story like this to rally behind and provide us with inspiration. The only way to make this any better is to force him to have a picture of Bauman, his fiancé, and their baby in his jail cell, just so he can realize how terribly he failed to achieve anything at all.

So the terrorists lose again. But look at the bright side Jafar, you still have a dozen or so nutjobs who still support your innocence. Oh, and Gish Jen is still around too. So you’ve got that going for you.

The catchphrase “Boston Strong” has become an overused cliche. In this case though, the shoe fits. These two are the definition of Boston Strong, and they are my favorite people on earth. God bless them and their Boston Strong baby.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.






3 Comment(s)
  • Blong
    March 24, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    I can’t wait for Gish Jen to write an anti-Jeff Bauman article. You know it’s coming.

    • Joey G
      March 25, 2014 at 9:19 am

      She’s too busy crusading for all men to be castrated so we can’t go on ruining their perfect feminist utopia full of genderless pansies and crappy music festivals. Christ, people like her are going to turn me into a republican.

      • mike .r anderson
        March 25, 2014 at 11:56 am

        | strong original |
        | m at e r i a l gman |
         ̄ ̄∨ ̄ ̄ ̄
         ( ´∀` ) √|
          /   |\/ノ
         / ム / ̄\_
        (_丿 \_/\_)

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