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Everyone and their mother is talking about Hillary Clinton getting let off the hook today by the FBI over her email scandal. Look, I don’t know much about servers, but I know they’re important. A few months ago our site would overload and no one could get on it for hours because our servers sucked and we get hacked hundreds of times a day sometimes. So now we pay a lot more money for really, really good servers and we haven’t had the problem. Our biggest problems we’re working on now are the overall appearance and all those popup hot babes in thongs who are making this a rather un-family friendly blog. We promise we will address that.
Anyway, the fact that so many people wanna hack Turtleboy makes you realize how important servers are. If people wanna hack Turtleboy, think about what they would wanna do to someone like Trump or Hillary. The fact that she was just using her own servers in other countries is INSANE!!
So yea, Slick Hillary got away with one today. FBI Director James Comey went on TV and gave a speech that outlined the many, many ways she fucked up:
Although we did not find clear evidence that Secretary Clinton or her colleagues intended to violate laws governing the handling of classified information, there is evidence that they were extremely careless in their handling of very sensitive, highly classified information.
There is evidence to support a conclusion that any reasonable person in Secretary Clinton’s position, or in the position of those government employees with whom she was corresponding about these matters, should have known that an unclassified system was no place for that conversation. In addition to this highly sensitive information, we also found information that was properly classified as Secret by the U.S. Intelligence Community at the time it was discussed on e-mail (that is, excluding the later “up-classified” e-mails).
None of these e-mails should have been on any kind of unclassified system, but their presence is especially concerning because all of these e-mails were housed on unclassified personal servers not even supported by full-time security staff, like those found at Departments and Agencies of the U.S. Government—or even with a commercial service like Gmail.
Oh good. We can’t prove that she purposely broke our laws as secretary of state. So we’re just gonna assume she’s incompetent. Good thing she wants to be leader of the free world. #ImWithHer!!!
We do assess that hostile actors gained access to the private commercial e-mail accounts of people with whom Secretary Clinton was in regular contact from her personal account. We also assess that Secretary Clinton’s use of a personal e-mail domain was both known by a large number of people and readily apparent. She also used her personal e-mail extensively while outside the United States, including sending and receiving work-related e-mails in the territory of sophisticated adversaries. Given that combination of factors, we assess it is possible that hostile actors gained access to Secretary Clinton’s personal e-mail account.
So what’s the plan here for Hillary? She has to play the “I’m an old lady who doesn’t know how the Internet works” card, right? Was I not supposed to do that? Should I not have created an account called [email protected] and used it to send classified information to my homies while I was on a diplomatic trip to Moscow? Oops!!!
But at the end of the day the FBI said they would not be indicting her. Obviously. I mean, is anyone really surprised? That’s what I don’t get – how did we all not see this one coming? It’s Hillary. The fix has been in since the 90’s. The dude just listed a million different ways she fucked up and risked national security. She got away with it because he couldn’t prove that she did it on purpose. But how were they ever gonna prove that? She had the “I’m an old lady who doesn’t know how the Internet works” card in her back pocket the whole time.
My question for the “I’m with her” folks is simple – why did she do this? Why did she delete so many emails and a use an unapproved server? Because she’s either incompetent or shady. If she’s incompetent, are you cool with this? If she’s shady, are you cool with that? What do you think was on those emails? Generally curious to know how Hillary people can justify this one without changing the subject and calling Trump a racist.
This was the really messed up part though:
To be clear, this is not to suggest that in similar circumstances, a person who engaged in this activity would face no consequences. To the contrary, those individuals are often subject to security or administrative sanctions. But that is not what we are deciding now.
Translation – when your name is Hillary Clinton, you are held to a lower standard than regular folks. Ya got that? We don’t hold a candidate for President to a higher standard, we hold them to a LOWER standard. Because that makes TONS of sense.
Anyway, a few months ago Hillary lectured white folks everywhere about their “white privilege”:
“White Americans need to do a much better job of listening when African-Americans talk about the seen and unseen barriers you face every day,” Clinton said at Al Sharpton’s National Action Network Convention. “We need to recognize our privilege and practice humility, rather than assume our experiences are everyone else’s experiences.”
We debunked her idiocy by pointing out 11 reasons that white privilege is not a real thing. So I guess my question is, when is Hillary gonna make her big announcement that she skated away free on this one as a direct result of this “white privilege” that she claims people like Turtleboy use on a daily basis? Because I’m pretty sure I’d be fired from my job if I didn’t use my work email to conduct work business with clients. This is despite all of my white privilege. So I guess that means Hillary has super white privilege then.
Anyway, if you’re one of these morons who believes that white privilege is a real thing, and you’re still voting for Hillary Clinton after this, then you might as well brand yourself with a scarlet H because you are a huge hypocrite. Because right now this is what she is thinking to herself:
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